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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#361

Post by _olsk »

bosie wrote: post #354
_olsk wrote: post #237

Funny enough, I used to be depressed for almost my whole life and now I'm not. Two and a half years ago, I dropped out from an average university to be admitted in Harvard within one year. At that time I also had poor English, struggling to differentiate present and past simple tenses. In just two years, I ruined relationships with my relatives, lost all friends, don't talk to anyone, got a horribly loose skin, had a…

If you don't mind me asking, the loose skin is from the weight loss or did you get hit by an illness on top of the tinnitus/mini-stroke?

Just weight loss

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#364

Post by hrishi »

nexus2045 wrote: post #253
_olsk wrote: post #237

Funny enough, I used to be depressed for almost my whole life and now I'm not. Two and a half years ago, I dropped out from an average university to be admitted in Harvard within one year. At that time I also had poor English, struggling to differentiate present and past simple tenses. In just two years, I ruined relationships with my relatives, lost all friends, don't talk to anyone, got a horribly loose skin, had a…

Man that is a crazy story. Congratulations on the English, wouldn't second-guess your fluency one bit. But I don't understand how you went through some social catastrophes and still manage to level-up in the rest of your life so well? Please allow me more vague details or in private for such an amazing turnaround. The reason I ask is because I have been struggling with socializing my whole life. While not autistic, I…

I've had a lot of what you're describing, down to the exact events. What worked for me was no trick, just deciding to lean into social interaction more and more. When I needed to I would remind myself that more good than bad has come out of me putting myself I'm vulnerable positions, and that "no one really know what they're doing", and we're all socially awkward and trying not to be.

It gets easier - think of the hockey stick curve. Nothing happens for a while, then it seems like it's all happening at once. At this point I have what I'd describe as short-cut mechanisms in my head - where at one point I'd have to talk to myself and convince myself that taking that meeting or saying hi was a good thing with tons of reasons, these days it shortcuts to "just do it" because I've had that conversation with myself so many times. What it's resulted in is me actually responding right away to things, being more open to social interaction, and I'll wholeheartedly say I was right - it's led to more good things than bad, every time.

Hope this helps!

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#365

Post by i_am_new_here »

gitgud wrote: post #181

Depression is unfortunately a part of modern society now, and I think a growing reliance on technology is one of the main factors. Technology seeks to make individuals happy, but in doing so they're consumed by screens and feeds and become physically isolated from other people...

I think globalization is the cause for depression and anxiety, because we are now competing with 8 billion people and not just "in our local circle". Technology is just an enabler, a window into this global world. If you drop that, I won't doubt that you immediately feel better, but I also think, that you just diminished your chances on the global rat race for the top (eg. FAANGM) jobs. Also: It's a "winner takes it all" (global) world and the world is full of (super positive) surviver ship biased stories, which do not match the reality of most people.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#366

Post by bogomipz »

swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

Sorry to hear it. One technique that might be helpful is to imagine a point in the future where things will in fact be better and how you will look back on this as just a period that really sucked. It also helps to think of another difficult period in your life and how that one was also followed by a much better period.

Also try to remember that the pandemic and the political rollercoaster are a shared burden. You are not alone in those.

It's easy to get into a cycle where negative habits perpetuate themselves. Try to reorient your daily habits by setting one small goal a day and achieving it. This creates a positive feedback loop and reinforces the idea that you are in control and that you have agency and can effect change.

Lastly I would recommend daily exercise of some sort if you are not doing so already. Anything that provides a bit of an endorphin blast can help break a negative thought cycle. Even if just for a few minutes to start.

Small building blocks like these will reintroduce positive and optimistic thoughts back into your mind.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#367

Post by anoncake »

i_am_new_here wrote: post #358
nl wrote: post #227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Depression is an illness (well technically I think it’s called a disorder).

It's important to understand the meaning of live in this context: The meaning of live is to preserve itself (and re/pro-create). Depression is a reaction to that this goal might not be reachable: Depression is putting you into an alert-modus, so that you work hard on fixing these/whatever (very tough) things to get back on track.

Depression stops you from doing things, it doesn't make you work on anything.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#368

Post by i_am_new_here »

seamyb88 wrote: post #84

The prognosis for depression is excellent when the right help is given. It's a shame on humanity that the prognosis is poor. I was, what I thought, a special case of depressed. No hope of recovery. Hell, I didn't even have depression, it was just who I was inside! Constant terrible thoughts about myself and every day a torture. But it got better. It got sooo much better. Life is beautiful and I'm excited to live it.

I am really happy that constant medication can help you. Are you on the same dosis or did you have to decrease/increase it over time?

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#369

Post by martin_a »

Yeah, I'm depressed on multiple levels.

[ I wrote a long text here about what is wrong/feels wrong, but I don't think I should share those thoughts. Only hurts more writing them down. :-( ]

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#370

Post by pedro1976 »

f0ok wrote: post #359
pedro1976 wrote: post #275

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thats tough. My usual strategy to cope with situations like this is to sign up as a part-time waiter. Its quite physical job, which is good, cause physical work is satisfying in itself, and you have a lot of positive social interactions. This usually distracts me enough and offers enough socialization to be emotionally stable. Maybe this helps. Good luck!

This is an interesting approach - you're going out of your comfort zone yet making it productive for yourself and helpful for others. I've recently started something similar to push bad moods away - decided to work as a nurse in an isolated community. I won't do it for long, but I feel good useful.

The interesting aspect in this particular case is that going out of the comfort zone is more comfortable than staying in it.
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