Ask HN: Are you depressed?

I think I might have depression. But my life is by all accounts pretty damn good. I don’t have any health issues, actually I’m fitter than most people. I make a great salary, have good relationships. I show up to work and do a good job.

However I’ve been managing this shitty feeling that I just can’t seem to shake. It’s been so long it’s my new normal. I get fatigued and agitated easily. I feel alone - even when I know I’ve got good people in my life. I’ve tried combatting this by reducing complications in my life. Limited possessions, no pets or anything to take care of, no subscriptions or services, just keep it simple. I’ve been trying to date, but oh man dating apps suck balls...

I severely limit alcohol consumption, and do self care things like get myself massages, take time out etc.

I’m the guy everyone looks up to, but the truth is most days once all the distractions are gone I feel pretty “meh” and just tired. I don’t talk to anyone apart from my friend / ex gf about this stuff.

Maybe it’s a distorted lense but I feel like the “help” out there is just like a bandaid to the problem. Like is there really no better solution other than stuffing yourself full of drugs and people telling you to go exercise (is 4 gym classes a week not enough?)?

People will say stuff like “it’s ok to ask for help”, but honestly I feel like there are real disadvantages to being labeled as “depressed”. Donating sperm, applying to become police officer, insurance are some examples.

A while back I tried Better Help, and maybe it wasn’t a good match, but it just left me feeling disillusioned with psychologists. Honestly I felt like the woman I was matched with didn’t care and was a bit dumb. Perhaps part of the problem is I’ve learnt to mask my feelings - it’s bloody hard to admit this stuff, yes I’m your typical male that doesn’t want to talk about his feelings...

Anyway, to summarise, I just feel a bit shit most days. I don’t hate myself, and I feel like life is absolutely worth living. I do have hope that there’s something I can do to improve my situation.

I suspect it might be “talk to a doctor” and / or “find a shrink that works for me”... although I have a level of skepticism about the whole thing.

Any anecdotes or recommendations would be helpful! I know the only way out is through taking action.

I moved to an area with some pretty foul weather (month-long stretches of rain or snow every day are not uncommon), and that has made things worse since my primary source of exercise and probably my greatest joy in life is the outdoors.

But even when I was living in a sunnier climate I would frequently drift in and out of bouts of depression.

I am lucky to have a wonderful family who put up with me in the good times and the bad. I just wish I could be a better person for them.

Don't worry about learning other languages, much better to be interested in something. Try to find something that interests you.

Common dude, eat better food [1]! Try to get more raw food. I gotta do this too.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9__23-zjhM

Serious threat of divorce. :(

> What was the most obvious (in hindsight) sign you ignored?

Lack of interest in anything around me mainly. Plus steadily increasing contempt for everyone and everything.