Funny enough, I used to be depressed for almost my whole life and now I'm not. Two and a half years ago, I dropped out from an average university to be admitted in Harvard within one year. At that time I also had poor English, struggling to differentiate present and past simple tenses. In just two years, I ruined relationships with my relatives, lost all friends, don't talk to anyone, got a horribly loose skin, had a…
Man that is a crazy story. Congratulations on the English, wouldn't second-guess your fluency one bit. But I don't understand how you went through some social catastrophes and still manage to level-up in the rest of your life so well? Please allow me more vague details or in private for such an amazing turnaround. The reason I ask is because I have been struggling with socializing my whole life. While not autistic, I…
I am really sorry for what happens in your life. I too have social anxiety as well as dyslexia. In my early childhood, I was bullied everywhere I go because of my lack of social skills and inability to keep up with peers. I even had multiple suicide attempts because of it.
How did I solve my social anxiety? I didn't. I go through the same struggle as you do. I did a lot of research and even tried to visit public events like clubs of interest, but it's incredibly difficult to talk to other people. Interactions with others are very exhausting and just within an hour of doing them I am emotionally dead. Right now I plan to start visiting them again after I get a job since I don't know any better place to meet new people I would want to be friends with. At job and public events, I will fake like I am normal until it becomes a part of me.
A small tip on how to stop caring about the past: Awkward and unpleasant situations happen to everyone, even the most successful people have them. Focus on what you have right now and what you will have in the future. I forced myself to not think about my past and only focus on the future. When I think about what I can achieve if I just do my best every day, my past stops to matter at all and my current situations becomes much better. The thing that is important for me is to give yourself a little break every day and have a day every week when you can do whatever you want.
Lastly, I haven't yet "level-up my life". I've made progress and I am very proud of it, but I still have no job and got a ton of other problems. But if I continue to work hard, I'm sure I'll get somewhere. And so do you! The struggle can't last forever, nothing can. You can always try to fix your life and if it doesn't work, you just try again.
I hope this helps and wish you to solve all your problems and get the life you want!
P.S. I watched a lot of videos on social skills and thought the exact same words, but if I want to succeed in life, I just have no other option then to just face it and do my best to fix it :)