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Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

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Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#81

Post by thelean12 »

echelon wrote: post #25

I just want a no-pay sabbatical. Three months, total reset of energy levels. We should all have that option. I would take a lot less money (-$50k or more) if I got to take a quarter off every year. Four day work weeks would be another compelling alternative. Two days a week are not enough time to get chores done. There's no time for relaxing. If I ever create a company, I'd love to offer these options.

Plenty of big companies allow you to do this. I know several people who have taken 1-3 month long unpaid vacation while at FAANG companies.

Sure, it takes some planning. You can't just do it tomorrow. But it seemed pretty easy for them.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#82

Post by HomeDeLaPot »

nitrogen wrote: post #50
meaydinli wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you, that is a good question. I haven't thought of it from that POV. Nothing is preventing me aside from my work-load, and the feeling that I am letting everybody down every second this project is further delayed.

I'm paraphrasing a story whose origin I can't remember at the moment, but basically if you have 6 hours to chop down a very large tree, you should spend 5 of those hours sharpening your axe.

I think I've heard it attributed to Abe Lincoln. I imagine he didn't mean to sharpen it all up front, but after every few swings.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#83

Post by giantg2 »

echelon wrote: post #74
giantg2 wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've brought it up. She doesn't care. She tells me unrealistic things too. For example, she says that I should pursue my expensive hobbies too, like track nights with the 1LE Camaro (which I felt I had to sell when getting married). Where would that money come from?! Should I just not pay the mortgage, or stop saving for retirement? She has also said if I don't like my job that I should quit. I've explained that it w…

Divorce. You have one life. I know you have a kid, but they'll grow up to resent you if you stay the course because they don't understand the weight you carry on your shoulders and your wife will have more energy for them. Divorce will actually be better for your kid. You'll still be able to see them and shape them. Over time, they may favor spending time with you.

Nah, I'll stick it out. Family court would f me over more than this.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#84

Post by nitrogen »

sleepysysadmin wrote: post #2

Been in this case a couple jobs; both MSP jobs naturally. When you're burnt out you just don't see it. In both of my previous jobs the burnout also had a boss who was consistently micromanaging and saying you aren't working hard enough. This is one of the weaknesses of government. A fundamental law that governments should have is that your employer cannot harm your health. Even in mental cases like burnout, the emplo…

who ultimately pays is the government

At least in the US, I believe that employers are required to pay for workers' compensation insurance to cover injuries on the job.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#85

Post by rzzzt »

nitrogen wrote: post #50
meaydinli wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you, that is a good question. I haven't thought of it from that POV. Nothing is preventing me aside from my work-load, and the feeling that I am letting everybody down every second this project is further delayed.

I'm paraphrasing a story whose origin I can't remember at the moment, but basically if you have 6 hours to chop down a very large tree, you should spend 5 of those hours sharpening your axe.

Quote Investigator is a good site to go for origin stories of a quote (the number of suggested hours/minutes for axe sharpening varies wildly): https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/03/29/sharp-axe/

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#86

Post by zo1 »

giantg2 wrote: post #73
yters wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very tough situation. I suppose it is difficult to discuss the imbalance.

I've brought it up. She doesn't care. She tells me unrealistic things too. For example, she says that I should pursue my expensive hobbies too, like track nights with the 1LE Camaro (which I felt I had to sell when getting married). Where would that money come from?! Should I just not pay the mortgage, or stop saving for retirement? She has also said if I don't like my job that I should quit. I've explained that it w…

That's ridiculously unfair and I'm sorry borderline abusive. If you guys are in a potentially precarious situation financially, then there is absolutely no justification why she should spend most of her earnings on entertainment whilst the bulk of your earnings go to necessities. Any excess earnings from you and her should go towards your family savings for future financial security, your children and retirement. Entertainment/hobbies should be put on the end of the list of things to use excess money on.

Please put your foot down and draw some boundaries (don't ask or beg). Be stern, and give her no choice but to spend her income on the family instead of selfish individual hobbies.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#87

Post by WalterSear »

bot41 wrote: post #77
outworlder wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time Is it though? What if you are (always) on call? What if you get a message from your boss late evening asking for stuff for early morning? What if you have late night meetings or very early morning meetings (and what if both are present)? What if coworkers from other timezones are messaging you outside work hours (if you even have defined work h…

What if you're on 3 different projects with 3 standup/checkins a day?

Then you need to follow the advice of health professionals:

https://www.theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-u...

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#88

Post by 127 »

bird_monster wrote: post #57

I've wanted to write about my (only; last) experience as a manager for a long time, as I think it's a pretty textbook definition of the trap that is getting burnt out by a shitty job. My mood worsened because I felt like I was failing all the time. Being in a shitty mood and feeling deeply ashamed made the quality of my work (meaning: the way I treated my team and stakeholders) worse. It was this terrible loop of fai…

Both shame and failing are such a huge things for me. From my perspective it's a miracle how well you handled it.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#89

Post by al_ak »

decebalus1 wrote: post #72
WJW wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's still mismanaging your work and time, but indirectly. Find a better job where your colleagues respect your personal time.

Are you familiar with the /r/wowthanksimcured/ subreddit? Might want to check it out. There are several problems with your statement: - find a better job: the job market is not ideal right now from the worker's perspective. Not to mention the difficulty of onboarding remote employees which is a stressor in itself. Not to mention the stress and the added workload of joining a new company/role while you have to build t…

I would somewhat disagree. While I don't think the factors you mention can be ignored, putting too much emphasis on them starts to feel like anxiety. It's a lot easier to cede personal time to your employer when you've already convinced yourself that they deserve it. Anxiety just makes it easier to fall into that trap

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#90

Post by giantg2 »

omginternets wrote: post #76
giantg2 wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife works about 25-30 hours per week. However, she spends most of that on her hobby (more than I spend on the mortgage). She doesn't contribute to any bills other than her gas and tires. I pay all the bills, benefits, utilities. I do all the shopping, cooking, baking, mechanic work, handyman work, projects, legal research (a case she got us involved in because she won't listen to me), medical research (our son ha…

Your marriage sounds like it's completely dysfunctional and a living hell. Finances and work balance aside, the bit about the legal trouble is quite the red flag. I don't presume to know what the right move is for you, but it sounds like you need to do something . Your situation is not normal. Have you considered couple's therapy? Divorce might also be on the table.

The legal issue isn't a big deal, but I certainly don't need that work on top of everything else. It was for an off-leash dog. The real problem was that we had a totally incompetent trooper make numerous mistakes on the citation, including a mis-citing it as a more serious charge and lying to a judge. I'm trained and licensed by my state in a quasi law enforcement capacity and even I'm shocked at the dysfunction of the system in this case. (On an unrelated matter the previous judge was arrested on multiple charges).

I don't think therapy would help. I would not be happy paying money for someone to just facilitate a conversation. I'll just deal with it until I can't, then I'll quit my job and she'll have to start helping out or listen to me about moving.

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