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How to deal with extreme physical pain

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Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#191

Post by BeetleB »

kshacker wrote: post #127
banana_giraffe wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. One beer every 3 months is proof my diet is a problem? For a condition you know nothing about? Really. Fine, then it's useless, and I've surrounded myself with idiots, all of my careful testing and attempts to understand my condition have failed. This kinda of nonsense, where I debate the very meaning of "me" to some extent is tiring. Even if I'm wrong in all of this, I'm not h…

I think you need to cool down. We live in a complex world. Some of us know the health side well a lot of us don't. Then we get an issue, like I had a heart attack and stents, and besides what the doctors and the family say, we read and read and read. And then when we see all the healthcare industry is trying to do is to make money from our sickness, when we see a friend in similar or really tangential pain, we try to…

> but blaming people for trying to help in a social setting is probably not the right way to look at it

And yet, the path to Hell is paved with ...

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#192

Post by young_unixer »

tylerd22 wrote: post #134

I don't have physical pain thankfully, but I have severe tinnitus. I'm unable to work for more than a few hours. I'm having a hard time to fall asleep. The fear of it getting worse is generating a large amount of stress.

Mine doesn't bother me during the day, but it does at night. Depending on how tired I am, it may take me anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours to fall asleep.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#193

Post by AnonHP »

I really feel for him, and hope he’s able to pull through. Dealing with one major health issue is a big deal. I can’t imagine dealing with multiple issues and still functioning to help others.

Gratitude for being “healthy enough” is what I try to practice, because I know that things could be unimaginably worse in a matter of days or weeks as time passes.

We’ve come a long, long way in healthcare — both in terms of preventative measures and curative measures — in the last one century. But many a times I’m still left with the feeling that the progress required, with the progress being affordable as well as accessible to all, is orders of magnitude more than what we’ve achieved. Almost makes me wish for a time machine so I could go two hundred years in the future and marvel at the medical achievements and how many issues are easily dealt with (considering a mostly-positive future scenario).

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#194

Post by lolpython »

scaladev wrote: post #188
newbie789 wrote: post #59

A few years ago, my partner ran out of critical insulin pump supplies and I appealed to the internet for help. Eventually, Scott drove quite a way to our apartment to give her (a complete stranger) what she needed (and more!) He's a stand-up grade A really nice guy, and I genuinely wish him the best. I wish that I had more expertise to help with this issue, as the only thing that comes to mind is I've had good result…

Is is normal in the US? I live in what one might consider a third world country, know quite a few insulin-dependent diabetics, and this story is appalling to me. I've never heard of any diabetic running out of their medication and having to ask the internet for help. Just call the local equivalent of 911 and they'll sort it out. Jesus.

Yes, it is normal. There are coupons for insulin that some pharmacists can give out, but they are not guaranteed. Insulin is prohibitively expensive without coupons or insurance. So many people in the US die as a result because they simply cannot afford to purchase the drug that costs pennies to produce.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#195

Post by newbie789 »

scaladev wrote: post #188
newbie789 wrote: post #59

A few years ago, my partner ran out of critical insulin pump supplies and I appealed to the internet for help. Eventually, Scott drove quite a way to our apartment to give her (a complete stranger) what she needed (and more!) He's a stand-up grade A really nice guy, and I genuinely wish him the best. I wish that I had more expertise to help with this issue, as the only thing that comes to mind is I've had good result…

Is is normal in the US? I live in what one might consider a third world country, know quite a few insulin-dependent diabetics, and this story is appalling to me. I've never heard of any diabetic running out of their medication and having to ask the internet for help. Just call the local equivalent of 911 and they'll sort it out. Jesus.

Type 1 diabetics regularly do not recieve adequate care, even at the basic life-support level here in the US.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#196

Post by darkerside »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #151
darkerside wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much. People can't put themselves in your shoes, but they try, and when they see you having a beer, knowing it could be bad for you, they try to support you in keeping away from it. I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.

It's virtue signaling, not caring. It's pretending to care and expecting to get pats on the head for it while actually being a burden to someone whose life is already overburdened. It's the opposite of actually caring about a person. It's caring about them making you feel good about going through superficial "caring" motions while doing absolutely no good and lots of terrible harm when it is added up over time for th…

Within a range, you get to interpret the actions of others. It's like one of those optical illusions where you can see a rabbit or a duck, but not both at the same time. One of those illusions will anger you and sap your strength. The other will connect you with another human being on some level, however superficial, which is wired to make you feel happy and fulfilled. Neither is the full vision of truth. But you are free to choose the lens through which you view the world.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#197

Post by darkerside »

kortilla wrote: post #122
darkerside wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much. People can't put themselves in your shoes, but they try, and when they see you having a beer, knowing it could be bad for you, they try to support you in keeping away from it. I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.

That’s not “caring about you too much”. It’s not knowing what’s appropriate. As someone who had to follow a strict diet for a while, I know for a fact that the people who stuck their nose into my allowed indulgences did not care about me nearly as much as the people who actually cared and knew I was capable of managing my own diet.

How is it that you know that for a fact?

Edit: Please don't downvote a clear question. The truth is, you can't know another's intentions in most cases. It's very possible parent does know them in these cases for other circumstantial reasons. In which case I'd ask, how do you know that extrapolated to everyone else who asks those same questions?

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#198

Post by centimeter »

uprighten wrote: post #66
centimeter wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If your diet plan allows beer it’s probably not very effective. Doctors aren’t going to be very helpful here - 95% are incompetent. You should probably try to come up with a good and efficiently computable a priori dietary strategy (e.g. evolutionary ancestral diet, with the goal of minimizing the chance of running into defective metabolic pathways). I can’t think of any such strategies I’m aware of that would allow…

I'm not sure about 95% of doctors being incompetent. If nothing else they are much better trained than the average person offering advice.

Yes, but they are worse than me at giving advice.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#199

Post by BeetleB »

darkerside wrote: post #108
banana_giraffe wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And perhaps this is a thing everyone deals with to some extent for one thing or another: I have a very strictly controlled diet. It's the result of a lot of testing, and discussions with my doctors. Most people that are around me enough get a sense of this. Most don't know the depth of it. What gets old is when I deviate from the diet, by say having a glass of beer at a social function, it's a big deal. Everyone's co…

Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much. People can't put themselves in your shoes, but they try, and when they see you having a beer, knowing it could be bad for you, they try to support you in keeping away from it. I can see how it would get annoying. If you view it as love, instead of nagging, it might get a little less annoying.

> Just so you know, you're effectively complaining that people care about you too much

I'm sure someone cares, but the majority of such folks? Nope.

I was once watching a crappy move, but it had one gem in it. The protagonist had lost the use of his leg in the Civil war, and he sought compensation for it, and received a lot easier than expected. Throughout the movie, he keeps wondering why it was so easy to get the money - he expected a fight. Towards the end, the revelation hit. They didn't pay him because they cared about him. They did it because they wanted to feel better about themselves. They did it so that they could walk away feeling tall.

And so it is with most advice: They do it because it makes them feel like they've done a good deed, and who knows - someone may even benefit from it? If they didn't, then no harm done.

That last sentence is quite wrong, though.

After hearing this, I got fairly good at figuring out who is trying to help vs who is trying to walk away tall. A little extra engagement with the person can usually reveal this.

I've learned from enough experience - both in giving and in receiving advice - that when you try to help someone, you should take on the burden on yourself. It becomes your responsibility to understand the pain points of the other person, know what he's tried, etc. This is exactly what random advice typically isn't. It's well known that saying "I had a similar problem" and talking about it is not empathizing[1]

One of the worst jobs I had involved a very knowledgeable person who would try to give advice whenever I was stuck. His advice often didn't work because he didn't understand the problem well, and made assumptions, etc. Every time he tried to help it was a huge time sink - to the point that I would mention my problems only when he wasn't around. Not exactly analogous to this situation, except to point out that this person never really understood the burden of helping someone. When you help someone, work with the person till the problem is resolved (or till you can't help). He failed as a teammate because of this.

(For those who recognize the movie - yes, I am taking liberties).

[1] Seriously - this is standard advice you'll find everywhere: When someone tells you their problems, do not respond with how similar your problems were - took me years to understand why.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#200

Post by BeetleB »

darkerside wrote: post #196
DoreenMichele wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's virtue signaling, not caring. It's pretending to care and expecting to get pats on the head for it while actually being a burden to someone whose life is already overburdened. It's the opposite of actually caring about a person. It's caring about them making you feel good about going through superficial "caring" motions while doing absolutely no good and lots of terrible harm when it is added up over time for th…

Within a range, you get to interpret the actions of others. It's like one of those optical illusions where you can see a rabbit or a duck, but not both at the same time. One of those illusions will anger you and sap your strength. The other will connect you with another human being on some level, however superficial, which is wired to make you feel happy and fulfilled. Neither is the full vision of truth. But you are…

The ironic thing is that the original complainant is making this exact same point about those who give this advice. Typically they're not trying to connect - they're trying to fulfill their own needs without understanding the other's needs.
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