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How to deal with extreme physical pain

hanselman.com

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Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#51

Post by banana_giraffe »

Waterluvian wrote: post #42
banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

What would you hope people do if you did tell them? My guess is "Damn that sounds awful. Let me know if I can help" and then dropping it entirely?

Pretty much. If you want to talk to me about what my symptoms are, and what I do to treat it, fine, I'm happy to discuss things most of the time, with the understanding that it's me telling you about my life experience, nothing more.

I know I'm coming off rude here, but the truth is, I don't want your advice on how to fix things, or worse, your advice that it's not as bad as I think it is, and that I can do whatever activity that I know will cause me problems tomorrow.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#52

Post by wycy »

autarch wrote: post #14

About ten years ago I had around 9 months (maybe a little more) of chronic testicular pain. It felt like someone had kicked me in the crotch about 10 minutes ago, all day every day. I've been in more pain from some injuries I've had (bike accident), but this lasted for much, much longer. It also made sleeping difficult, as for some reason lying down was extremely uncomfortable. I ended up sleeping in a chair for seve…

That sounds horrific. Did you ever find out what the cause was?

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#53

Post by ianai »

renewiltord wrote: post #49
banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

Ah, people are just trying to relate and help. I get that it's frustrating, though.

Care by simply expressing someone wasn’t in pain is enough. No need to try to be the fixer.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#54

Post by xzel »

schoolornot wrote: post #6
alexh1 wrote: post #2

Fuck. Shit sucks. I myself have dealt with long lasting (> 1 month) pain and it's horrific. Your whole perspective changes, you think life will never be the same. I can't imagine what it's like when these issues stretch into the years.

Had invasive surgery on my humerus that involved drilling & cutting into bone and muscle. The pain following the nerve block wearing off was indescribable. Groaning was about the most I could do. The pills might as well have been made out of sugar. You're right, perspective does change permanently. There weren't "seeing the light" moments but I certainly know now who my friends are. I have an interesting view of life…

I've had unexplained knee pain for almost a decade. I've done everything people recommend, stretches, PT, rolfing (which is great to be honest) etc. I was and am currently in great shape and stretch for 30-60 minutes a day. The only thing I've ever found to work for bad days is over the counter 8mg Codeine tablets you can get in Canada. I can't get them in the US or even for a doctor to consider it, they're terrified of prescribing pain medicine. Because of Covid I haven't been able to go to Canada for a while and I'm worried what will happen in the next few months. The over reaction to opioid abuse and other people abusing the system has really punished people with chronic pain. I have friends who have been on opioids of pain management, veterans, getting cut off cold turkey by their physicians.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#55

Post by m0zg »

outworlder wrote: post #47
m0zg wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's remarkable how many people I know, including myself, had significant bicycle-related trauma. I broke my ankle in three places due to a fall (do not recommend by the way, once the shock wears off the pain is pretty bad, and then after a while you have to walk on your still partially broken foot so that it heals properly). A friend of mine broke a clavicle. Another friend nearly fractured her spine. I sold my bike…

Not disputing, not arguing, just trying to understand. How come you and people you know suffered so many accidents? Were you commuting, competing, mountain biking, what? Is the weather bad? Maybe my serious accident is waiting for me still, but the only close call I had was due to my own recklessness. Just riding a bike going from A to B? I can see how one could get injured, but not THAT seriously, unless it's due to…

For me it was a fall as I was trail biking. Not anything white-knuckle, just a fairly pedestrian trail. I fell off and folded my ankle 90 degrees inward. For the guy who broke his clavicle it was slippery pavement - some leaves - he fell sideways. Don't know about the gal.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#56

Post by banana_giraffe »

centimeter wrote: post #50
gwbas1c wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it Banana_giraffe isn't alone. I had chronic obstructive sleep apnea and I quickly got tired of unsolicited woo-woo illogical suggestions to treat it. Exercise and meditation doesn't fix problems with bone structure.

Exercise can help fix excessive body fat, which contributed to my apnea. It’s actually pretty fascinating how many common and sometimes serious medical problems are known to be fixable with “woo-woo” advice like “don’t eat like shit” (advice that 95% of people don’t follow). E.g. type 2 diabetes and refractory epilepsy now have purely dietary interventions as front-line treatments. We have weak evidence that this wil…

And perhaps this is a thing everyone deals with to some extent for one thing or another: I have a very strictly controlled diet. It's the result of a lot of testing, and discussions with my doctors.

Most people that are around me enough get a sense of this. Most don't know the depth of it.

What gets old is when I deviate from the diet, by say having a glass of beer at a social function, it's a big deal. Everyone's concerned about me, which I appreciate, but I have to justify the beer by pointing out how it fits into my diet, and how I've planned for this beer. I have had to pull up my diet plan on more than one occasion to make someone happy.

If I was known to have problems adhering to my diet, and asked for this sort of help, then fine. I don't have that, and I've tried to tell people that I know what my diet is. I try to be nice about it, and ask people to just let me be.

Instead I get to defend every beer I have. So, now I'm the teetotaler in the office. It's just easier than the alternative. But it's damned annoying.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#57

Post by banana_giraffe »

giantg2 wrote: post #45
banana_giraffe wrote: post #12

I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…

I have to admit, one of my thoughts was 'Is there anything I can recommend'.

I get that. I'm like that too. If I see a problem, I want desperately to try and help fix it.

This has absolutely taught me that sometimes the best answer is "Wow, that really sucks. If you want to talk about it, let me know" and move on to some other subject.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#58

Post by centimeter »

banana_giraffe wrote: post #56
centimeter wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Exercise can help fix excessive body fat, which contributed to my apnea. It’s actually pretty fascinating how many common and sometimes serious medical problems are known to be fixable with “woo-woo” advice like “don’t eat like shit” (advice that 95% of people don’t follow). E.g. type 2 diabetes and refractory epilepsy now have purely dietary interventions as front-line treatments. We have weak evidence that this wil…

And perhaps this is a thing everyone deals with to some extent for one thing or another: I have a very strictly controlled diet. It's the result of a lot of testing, and discussions with my doctors. Most people that are around me enough get a sense of this. Most don't know the depth of it. What gets old is when I deviate from the diet, by say having a glass of beer at a social function, it's a big deal. Everyone's co…

If your diet plan allows beer it’s probably not very effective.

Doctors aren’t going to be very helpful here - 95% are incompetent. You should probably try to come up with a good and efficiently computable a priori dietary strategy (e.g. evolutionary ancestral diet, with the goal of minimizing the chance of running into defective metabolic pathways). I can’t think of any such strategies I’m aware of that would allow beer.

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#59

Post by newbie789 »

A few years ago, my partner ran out of critical insulin pump supplies and I appealed to the internet for help. Eventually, Scott drove quite a way to our apartment to give her (a complete stranger) what she needed (and more!)

He's a stand-up grade A really nice guy, and I genuinely wish him the best. I wish that I had more expertise to help with this issue, as the only thing that comes to mind is I've had good results using kratom in a severe pain situation, but that's anecdotal and not quite analogous to his condition.

Wishing you the best, Mr. Hanselman!

Re: How to deal with extreme physical pain

#60

Post by rootusrootus »

banana_giraffe wrote: post #51
Waterluvian wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What would you hope people do if you did tell them? My guess is "Damn that sounds awful. Let me know if I can help" and then dropping it entirely?

Pretty much. If you want to talk to me about what my symptoms are, and what I do to treat it, fine, I'm happy to discuss things most of the time, with the understanding that it's me telling you about my life experience, nothing more. I know I'm coming off rude here, but the truth is, I don't want your advice on how to fix things, or worse, your advice that it's not as bad as I think it is, and that I can do whatever…

> I know I'm coming off rude here

On the contrary, this is excellent advice! I know I feel a tendency to want to share my knowledge with friends and family because I think it may help. I should know better, because I do not like being given advice, and yet I have a lot of trouble avoiding giving it myself. When I try, I am accused of being aloof or uninterested. A hard line to walk, keeping my mouth shut is enough work all by itself ;-)

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