Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is an extremely fraught topic, and I will give a very fraught answer: I think you did the right thing in this situation. She did not express anything malicious and she corrected herself (at least partially). It sounds like your colleague was doing something anyone would do (assessing someone by the social strictures they are familiar with) and did something wrong (devoted effort to it in a hiring context, said s…
> She did not express anything malicious Well, imagine that you, a white-presenting man (what does _that_ mean) were on a phone interview with someone you couldn't see, and afterwards, you said something like, "I was trying to determine if they were Black." I'm not going to make judgement on whether that's a fair statement or not - what I am curious about is whether you think that you'd get the same kind of defense -…
If you met most of my family members, you would not think they were white, but if you met me personally, you probably would.
Only once in a long while does someone seem to read me as 'not white' (and unless I'm speaking my heritage language they usually guess wrong about what flavor.)
> were on a phone interview with someone you couldn't see, and afterwards, you said something like, "I was trying to determine if they were Black."
If I'm on the phone with someone, I am sure I am trying to figure that out. Folks who claim otherwise are most likely incorrect about what they are doing.
I would certainly know better than to say that aloud, since I grew up in a society where I know how it would be perceived, and have intuition around it. I don't have to think much to realize the implications.