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Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

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Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#221

Post by mod »

schwartzworld wrote: post #133
biren34 wrote: post #124

1. How to spend less than you earn. Lots of people desire “financial freedom”, meaning they can spend what they want when they want it. Solving this via revenue leads to the hedonic treadmill, and you’ll never out earn your growing wants. Instead solve this by controlling your wants, and you’ve achieved financial freedom immediately. 2. How to take risks. Finding the balance between recklessness and absolute risk avo…

1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than…

1: In 2002, long before I was a dev, I made about $14,000, working at a local YMCA. I had plenty of money. I paid rent (shared), I went out to eat a couple times per week (mainly the $13.50 all-you-can-eat crab at the chinese place), and I spent my leisure time how I wanted--for me that was primarily gaming, fishing (from the shore), programming, and coaching youth sports. I drove a beater car and did not have any luxury in my life, but I had a nice PC, a few nice fishing rods, etc.

I managed to save money without much issue, and I moved out of that place with $12k cash.

It was a very good time in my life, probably the best time. I think you maybe have a different idea about what makes you happy--those "frivolous pleasures." Simpler living is not the same as asceticism.

I am in a position in my life now, having bought a rural property ($60k for 40 acres and a home), where I could live for much less than I did at that time. Some things I find rewarding there are raising a few animals, gardening, hunting, camping on my own property, woodworking in my small woodshop (hand tools are cheaper and I find them particularly rewarding), repairing/restoring things, servicing my own vehicles, and relying more on myself and my own talents. Some of the best times are spent sitting in a chair on my shop porch--a type of meditation perhaps. I don't feel like an ascetic, and I realize that it's not a life for everyone, but surely it's a good life, and preferable to being a drone with no free time and no money to spend in any free time.

2: I think they were speaking less about financial risk, like risking your savings, and more about other kinds of risks. Later in my life I moved to Costa Rica for a time (on an aside, I lived there about as cheaply as I did in my YMCA days). I was scared to do it, by myself, etc, but I looked at worst case scenarios, and it was like...I squandered my savings (10-15k, I don't remember), I was alive, bruised ego, and I went back to the US and got a low-paying job. I held out an amount of money equal to a plane ticket in case that scenario presented itself, and I had a great time in Costa Rica. I moved back with more money than I left with.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#222

Post by mod »

cableshaft wrote: post #195
schwartzworld wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than…

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I lived what you're saying. It's a reality for a lot of people. Cheapest option at a proper restaurant: glass of water. I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind) and otherwise I might not have even gone out with them. Splur…

> I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind)

They didn't mind. It feels very good to do something nice for a friend. If it didn't, they wouldn't keep inviting you.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#223

Post by mandeepj »

bob1029 wrote: post #104
kpmcc wrote: post #94

Cooking cooking cooking. You’ll eat probably until the day you die. Might as well figure out how to feed yourself in a way that sustains you and brings some joy to you and possibly to others.

This is by far the most important thing I can think of, followed shortly by being able to maintain a regular, high-quality exercise regimen. Meal prep is the key to keeping the discipline in terms of cooking cheap, high-quality meals for yourself. If you understand some fundamentals about how to store food and scaling recipes up, you can leverage your time very well. In a given week, I spend ~2 hours in the kitchen t…

> In a given week, I spend ~2 hours in the kitchen total.

I have been thinking about it because I spend significant more time than that. Maybe, you make only salads

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#224

Post by cableshaft »

jimhefferon wrote: post #203
cableshaft wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I lived what you're saying. It's a reality for a lot of people. Cheapest option at a proper restaurant: glass of water. I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind) and otherwise I might not have even gone out with them. Splur…

> I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I expect that you returned the favor, although maybe not to the exact same friends. :-)

That's true, I have, to other people.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#225

Post by cableshaft »

cableshaft wrote: post #195
schwartzworld wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than…

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I lived what you're saying. It's a reality for a lot of people. Cheapest option at a proper restaurant: glass of water. I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind) and otherwise I might not have even gone out with them. Splur…

Also, when I could only afford water, I learned how to say something to the effect of "That's okay, I already ate, I'll just have some water," or if at a bar "No thank you, I'm a designated driver, just some water," to make it seem like it wasn't because I was broke. Probably didn't always work, but no one said anything about it.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#226

Post by war1025 »

AA-BA-94-2A-56 wrote: post #216
war1025 wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> How to manage yourself when tragedy inevitably strikes This is a place where, in my opinion, religion is seriously overlooked in modern culture. The times when my religious upbringing have been most useful to me have all been in the face tragedy.

I used to be religious, but I came to a point where I just didn't believe it anymore. Religion is no longer useful to me, not because it was ever real, but because I've convinced myself it's not real. I've replaced it with philosophy and meditation-- it actually seems to do the job much better, and doesn't require any particular leaps in logic on my part.

> I've replaced it with philosophy and meditation

Philosophy and meditation are just religion by another name in my opinion. At least in terms of the practical application of religion, which is sadly neglected by most branches of modern Christianity.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#227

Post by mod »

User23 wrote: post #187

Kipling's If: If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; I…

Timeless. Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#228

Post by gamechangr »

mod wrote: post #221
schwartzworld wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than…

1: In 2002, long before I was a dev, I made about $14,000, working at a local YMCA. I had plenty of money. I paid rent (shared), I went out to eat a couple times per week (mainly the $13.50 all-you-can-eat crab at the chinese place), and I spent my leisure time how I wanted--for me that was primarily gaming, fishing (from the shore), programming, and coaching youth sports. I drove a beater car and did not have any lu…

Just curious -

$60k for 40 acres and a home

What state are you in and how far from a big city?

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#229

Post by phonypc »

JMTQp8lwXL wrote: post #126
bob1029 wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is by far the most important thing I can think of, followed shortly by being able to maintain a regular, high-quality exercise regimen. Meal prep is the key to keeping the discipline in terms of cooking cheap, high-quality meals for yourself. If you understand some fundamentals about how to store food and scaling recipes up, you can leverage your time very well. In a given week, I spend ~2 hours in the kitchen t…

I am envious of your food budget. A mere pound of chicken breast at my local grocery store costs ~$10/lb, though they range from about ~$5-10lb. However, at the cheaper end, the meat is a demonstrably lower quality, with odd texture issues due to chickens growing so fast (the condition is called 'woody chicken'). Your budget would get me 15 lbs of protein. That's just not enough food for 2 people (my household size).…

If budget is a pressing concern maybe don't get chicken breast? It's far from the most affordable source of protein.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#230

Post by biren34 »

rzzzt wrote: post #193
biren34 wrote: post #124

1. How to spend less than you earn. Lots of people desire “financial freedom”, meaning they can spend what they want when they want it. Solving this via revenue leads to the hedonic treadmill, and you’ll never out earn your growing wants. Instead solve this by controlling your wants, and you’ve achieved financial freedom immediately. 2. How to take risks. Finding the balance between recklessness and absolute risk avo…

How do you know what you want?

The funny thing about “knowing what you want” is that it’s incredibly simple—on paper.

All you have to do is have the most basic level of experience (any 18 year old has enough). Pay attention as you go, and do more of what brings you “joy” and less of what makes you feel bad.

Good and bad feeling are terribly defined in the English language, so to be clear, joy in this sense is more a mix of flow, fulfillment and a sense of high regard rather than anything that might be more linked with pleasure. Dancing can bring you joy, going to the club, getting drunk, and finding a one-night stand probably won’t, even if there’s music involved.

In practice, it gets hard because there are so many external forces imposing themselves on us, shouting so we only hear them, intentionally drowning out our inner voices. They do this on purpose so they can control us. The message is usually in the form of what “high status” is and telling us what we have to do to achieve it. There’s rarely any overlap between what they tell us to do and what brings us joy.

I guess this all boils down to: if you want to know what you want, learn to listen to yourself only, in the face of all this noise. Status is a siren song.

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