Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

news.ycombinator.com

201–210 of 277 posts

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Spoken like someone who has been lucky. Before I was a dev, I worked less profitable jobs. I was no where near the poverty line, but life is expensive and you can only reduce expenses to a point. Sure, you can probably ease the burden by spending less, but at a certain point spending less means living an ascetic life, free from any frivolous pleasures. The term financial freedom doesn't just mean "making more than…

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I lived what you're saying. It's a reality for a lot of people. Cheapest option at a proper restaurant: glass of water. I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind) and otherwise I might not have even gone out with them. Splur…

> I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me.

I expect that you returned the favor, although maybe not to the exact same friends. :-)

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#204
post #193

1. How to spend less than you earn. Lots of people desire “financial freedom”, meaning they can spend what they want when they want it. Solving this via revenue leads to the hedonic treadmill, and you’ll never out earn your growing wants. Instead solve this by controlling your wants, and you’ve achieved financial freedom immediately. 2. How to take risks. Finding the balance between recklessness and absolute risk avo…

How do you know what you want?

For starter, https://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Maslow/motivation.htm

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#205

In the modern era the single most important skill is to manage distractions. There are so many things, this site included, that can prevent you from accomplishing your goals via distraction. Obviously a little distraction and fun is good. But these days it easier than ever to waste an entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone.

> entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone

More like years, nowadays. Some people (most?) never recover at all, because it's cheaper and more addictive than smoking. Apple's detailed time tracking was a revelation. We discovered that my wife (who is currently out of a job due to COVID) was speding 8+ hours every day on her iPhone and iPad alone, and I myself was spending entirely too much time on my mobile devices as well. I managed to cut down to about 1.5 hours a day. She's still struggling with it. And it's hard. I have to leave my phone upstairs so I don't relapse.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#206
I think spending the time to learn how to be your own best friend, perhaps this might be especially valuable or undervalued among the HN audience. Speaking from my experience I feel that I'm relatively driven but that often goes together with being my own very harsh critic. One way to descriibe this is that I wouldn't spend any time with someone whom spoke to me the way I sometimes speak to myself when things go wrong. The times when, instead of beating myself up, I'm able to say to myself it's ok not to be where I thought I would be by now it my life, I've been more peaceful.

So my answer to OP's question is: learn to be compassionate with yourself.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I lived what you're saying. It's a reality for a lot of people. Cheapest option at a proper restaurant: glass of water. I had times where that was the only option that I could manage, unless my friends insisted on paying for me. I'd feel bad, but they were better off and didn't mind (at least they said they didn't mind) and otherwise I might not have even gone out with them. Splur…

I've been in the same boat (see other posts). It sucks so much. And so much of the problem is the expense of transport, which is externalized onto regular folks rather than being paid for with taxes. Even when I was broke and living in NYC, I could still afford my subway pass. I mean barely, but I afforded it. That meant I could always get to the temp job I needed to get to without worrying. If you think of car owner…

> which is externalized onto regular folks

You appear to be very mistaken about the meaning of "externalized" (this is, of course, the charitable interpretation). Paying for a good or service you yourself consume does not constitute an externality. In fact, the exact opposite is true: if you forces others to pay for your open transportation, that would be an externality.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#208
The ones that I find myself working on the most as I move into my 40s: Physical strength and patience. They're tightly coupled but the patience is something that I could use more of in every facet of my life. Along the same line of thought, I find myself practicing listening / being present in conversation frequently.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#209

I always think of this poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson: To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life ha…

That's a beautiful poem, thanks for sharing.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#210
post #30

Probably the most important skill people are skipping is etiquette. Which I think says a lot about HN. Communication (texting, listening, etc), maintaining and creating relationships, avoiding injury, relaxation, exercise, cooking, healthy eating, self defense, first aid, swimming, types of reading (fun, searching, learning), searching, separating truth from fiction, knowing when to seek help, a hobby, cleaning, main…

With the exception of listening every single one of the skills you've listed is about yourself. There's nothing about empathy, sympathy, helping other people, or even understanding other people. If you want to really get ahead in life, learn to understand other people, know what pains they're suffering, and figure out how to solve them. You will never do that well if you're entirely focused on yourself.

How do you think it’s possible to create and maintain relationships without empathy, sympathy, helping other people, or even understanding them? I genuinely don’t understand why you think these are separate.
Post reply on HN