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Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

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Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#182
post #50
post #30

Probably the most important skill people are skipping is etiquette. Which I think says a lot about HN. Communication (texting, listening, etc), maintaining and creating relationships, avoiding injury, relaxation, exercise, cooking, healthy eating, self defense, first aid, swimming, types of reading (fun, searching, learning), searching, separating truth from fiction, knowing when to seek help, a hobby, cleaning, main…

Social etiquette drives me up the wall sometimes. I get it, it's necessary, and I do follow it, but there are some that just make zero sense. In fact, most of them make no sense. It's just social constructs made by people, and some go to war over it. Ridiculous. I don't want to shake hands, I don't want to smile, I don't want to sit down if you do. It's like, why does it matter to you? I literally couldn't give half…

Etiquette is often about social status, and social signalling of group/clique belonging: perhaps that is the part you rail against?

A sibling comment says: “I think it telegraphs if you care about us or not“, but I would translate that to mean whether you care to show you belong to their group or not.

I also loath some etiquette because it is meaningless: more about exclusion than politeness or showing you care.

It is extremely similar to dressing appropriately for the social crowd you are interacting with: you can use your own social norms but people won’t accept you so easily.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#183

Enough carpentry and building skills to be able to build decks, porches, sheds, renovate rooms in your house, etc. If you're a homeowner and can improve your home with little help from contractors, you will be able to affordably increase the value of your house immensely, as well as the quality of your home life and that of your family. The return on investment can be crazy -- imagine being able to take a couple week…

So, more generally, you could say that you can save money by doing a task yourself that you usually leave to a professional specialist. In most cases, this is clearly ridiculous. I'm not going to start sewing my own clothes, or doing maintenance on my car beyond maybe changing my own oil. What makes home repairs different?

> In most cases, this is clearly ridiculous.

I disagree.

I would guess most of us have thought before, "I sure get paid a lot for what amounts to not that difficult of work."

Most professions are like that.

> I'm not going to start sewing my own clothes

My wife enjoys sewing and makes or alters the majority of her clothing. It's more work than buying, but the fit is better and she has fun doing it.

> doing maintenance on my car beyond maybe changing my own oil.

Lots of people are into car repair. Having delved into it a little in the past few years, you can get surprisingly far with a decent set of wrenches, some jack stands, and a torque wrench.

> What makes home repairs different?

They really aren't. If you own the house you live in, then why wouldn't a naturally curious person like most of the people here try their hand at some of the work?

It's a very easy thing to tip toe your way into and gradually build your skills.

Get a hammer, a saw, a tape measure, and a drill and suddenly the world is your oyster around the house.

If you want to hire a professional for every little thing, then great. That keeps them in business.

But most of the work is hardly beyond the abilities of the average person. Especially given that you can start with the easy things and build from there.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#184
Being able to forgive yourself.

You're not perfect and mistakes will be made. Becoming a father showed me that I've sometimes said and done stupid things in front of a very impressionable small person, but all I can do is to promise myself that I won't do that again, find a way of avoiding that situation in the future, and move on.

Berating yourself over ancient history is incredibly toxic for mental health.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#185
post #155

In the modern era the single most important skill is to manage distractions. There are so many things, this site included, that can prevent you from accomplishing your goals via distraction. Obviously a little distraction and fun is good. But these days it easier than ever to waste an entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone.

> But these days it easier than ever to waste an entire day or two watching Netflix and staring at your phone. It is also worth looking at all these distractions (which turn to addictions sometimes - addictions playing the same role) as means to avoiding emotions which arise when we look at real problems and start to solve them. Somehow our emotions pull us back into this lake of low level, auto-pilot functioning whe…

For anyone interested, Indistractable by Nir Eyal is a good read on this topic. The premise is that distraction is a mechanism that the mind uses to deal with discomfort. He talks about solving the the root cause (emotions) rather than just trying to solve a proximate cause (technology).

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#186
How to build and maintain relationships

How to take care of your physical and mental state

- That might mean meditation or mindfulness or whatever else it takes to deal with adversity and difficult situations

- Understand what your specific body needs in the way of activity and diet to keep the engine running as best it can

With those two under your belt you can generally build and acquire any other skills you need for your specific situation to the extent that it is possible

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#187
Kipling's If:

  If you can keep your head when all about you   
      Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
  If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
      But make allowance for their doubting too;   
  If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
      Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
  Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
      And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

  If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
      If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
  If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
      And treat those two impostors just the same;   
  If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
      Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
  Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
      And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

  If you can make one heap of all your winnings
      And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
  And lose, and start again at your beginnings
      And never breathe a word about your loss;
  If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
      To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
  And so hold on when there is nothing in you
      Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

  If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
      Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
  If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
      If all men count with you, but none too much;
  If you can fill the unforgiving minute
      With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
  Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
      And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#188
post #4

Learning how to cook would be fairly near the top of my list. More specifically learning how to cook a few dishes well (ideally ones that you like).

I found the America’s Test Kitchen books to be great as a starting point. The recipes are good, and generally made from easily accessible ingredients. There is also always a page or two of discussion about developing the recipe (what worked, what didn’t, etc) that includes some instructions on technique. I often give the Best Recipes book as a gift to younger relatives who are just learning.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#189
post #35

How to manage yourself when tragedy inevitably strikes How to take advantage of people... that way they are less likely to be taken advantage of Restraint enough that, though they know how, they don’t take advantage of others How to look for sense of self satisfaction within yourself rather than in the approval of others Not really a skill, but a habit of intense exercise at least 30m a day. Running and swimming are…

> How to manage yourself when tragedy inevitably strikes This is a place where, in my opinion, religion is seriously overlooked in modern culture. The times when my religious upbringing have been most useful to me have all been in the face tragedy.

Def a utility of religion. You can find it as well in various schools of philosophy

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#190
post #30

Probably the most important skill people are skipping is etiquette. Which I think says a lot about HN. Communication (texting, listening, etc), maintaining and creating relationships, avoiding injury, relaxation, exercise, cooking, healthy eating, self defense, first aid, swimming, types of reading (fun, searching, learning), searching, separating truth from fiction, knowing when to seek help, a hobby, cleaning, main…

Keep in mind that etiquette is highly subjective and culture-specific. As English speakers a lot of ours is derived from traditional British customs, even if you’re not a native of a former colony. For instance, saying “excuse me” before you barge in front of someone to get something off the shelf at a shop. I’m American, so that is obvious. I live in Estonia, and here you either 1) stand awkwardly and wait for them…

Table manners too are so culture specific though. Who am I (a Briton) to insist that roti should be eaten with fork and knife, rather than finger-formed into a shovel, at an Indian restaurant? Or to object to slurping from bowls hovering off the table at a Chinese one?

That said, if the setting is English, (/French/¿European?) I despise seeing, for example, fork and knife cack-handed.

(I wouldn't worry about your chip 'double-dipping' being a snobbishly high bar!)

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