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Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

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Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#51
post #29

How to handle your finances. I can't believe this basic lesson wasn't taught to me at all during my formative years, either by my parents or in school.

I admit I could be mistaken, but often when I hear people complain that they wish they had been taught to handle their finances or learned about budgeting, it reduces down to "I wish I had been taught not to spend outside my means." Which reduces down further to "I wish I had been taught self-control." To me, the fundamentals have always seemed relatively straightforward: don't spend more than you have, and only take…

I sort of agree with that. I have some quibbles with what's taught in high school (e.g. surely basic statistics/probability would be more useful for most people than some of the math that is taught). But MBA capital budgeting and accounting classes aren't really needed. Maybe a penny saved is a penny earned could be updated to a penny saved is a penny earned plus compound interest. But the common problem is, as you say, people spending more money than they have because they want to--as aided by installment plans and the like. (And a lot of people just having genuinely little money.)

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#52
Develop critical thinking. For example, examining a news article. Why is it news? Who is reporting it? What is the intent of their reporting? Etc.

Develop inquisitiveness. Related to critical thinking. Always be asking 'why?'.

Develop grace, encompassing manners, humility, self-control, compassion, etc.

Learn how to interact with government and institutions. For example, how do you even hire a lawyer? When should you?

Personal finance, as others mention, but I see a great many false prophets in that area. IMHO there doesn't seem to be any proven method. One rule I follow is 'never borrow to consume', though that may depend on how enlightened the society you live in is. Everyone needs to eat after all.

For practical skills,

Cooking. It may become obsolete in future, but being able to cook a basic meal is useful and satisfying.

Gardening, basic farming. Again, eating a lettuce you grew yourself is quite satisfying.

If you didn't get a standard western upbringing, then all the basics; learn to swim, ride a bike, tie a shoelace and a necktie, basic knots, basic music/play an instrument, host a party, basic painting/drawing, sportsmanship, read, write, at least, algebra, etc.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#55
I haven't seen knots mentioned yet. Learning a few basic knots from different categories may only be occasionally useful, but on those occasions it can be quite valuable and rewarding. Practicing knot tying requires minimal resources, and it can be a great activity to wind down at the end of the day.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#56
Learn any moderately complex system very well.

From past personal experience: get an old vehicle and make like new; learn linux on machine not best-suited to it; and, with out getting overly specific, gain skills by getting involved with people outside your milieu--volunteer, or get a side job that teaches you a useful skill via mentors with perspectives you do not normally encounter.

In my experience, learning a complicated system translates well to another.

Finally, and perhaps this will sound a bit life-coachy--sorry: learn to suffer, dynamically. Learn that your limits are often imagined, and that you can "put away" unpleasant feelings in order to perform adaptively within, or even enjoy, struggle. This a skill of mine that not many people have. It's probably not crucial, as people without it seem to function fine, but it does afford me unique opportunities.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#57
Among my top recommended life skills that I think may help people is the ability to manage one's feelings. You can train yourself to respond to fears and anxieties in productive ways, navigating through challenging life situations without being reduced to a minimal version of who you are.

Don't take the following as an authoritative source on the subject. Use it to get started on your own path of development.

1. Meditation. It's in fashion for a very good reason. People continue to recommend it as the single most valuable practice one can adopt to improve oneself. As you grow more mindful of your feelings, you can better manage them. Meditation is a practice. You can think of it as going to the gym for half an hour and training on one single muscle. The more you train, the stronger that muscle gets!

2. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). This is a broad subject. A therapist is very helpful, if you can afford one, but own your self improvement and try not to depend on financially unsustainable counseling. Therapy is very helpful and sometimes essential. Use it to acquire life skills. The aspect of CBT that I would like to draw attention to involves the ability to manage fears and anxieties, and consequently depression, using the process of identifying cognitive distortions and reframing concerns. A great intro book to the subject is "Feeling Good" by David Burns, who recently published a sequel, "Feeling Great" after almost forty years of development since the book was published. Burns has a blog, podcast, and teamed up with product folks to create an upcoming mobile app.

3. Rest and recovery. Initially, I was just going to mention sleep, which is a very tough subject, especially when dealing with insomnia. Not resting enough taxes the system. Plan down time and protect it. Address insomnia holistically.

Be well, my friends.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#58
Learn how to take care of yourself first. That includes: * learning to cook and prepare your own food. * learn proper sleeping habits and make a routine that feels comfortable. * learn to exercise - pick an activity and do it consistently with some goals in mind. * learn to budget money and manage expenses. * learn to groom yourself and maintain a regular cleanliness routine * learn to entertain yourself alone - without the internet (ex. reading a book, telling a story, etc) * learn how devices you own work and how to troubleshoot/repair them (ex. fridge, ac, oven, car) The general theme I have is that "the things you own, end up owning you", if you are not accountable for them. Start with the things you can't get rid of like your body and then question everything else you introduce into your life to eliminate clutter. Examples: - if you don't know how to prepare food your diet depends on what restaurants offer and you have little control over ingredients, portion size, calorie intake... - if you pass out in front of the tv and wake up on the couch it is unlikely that you will feel motivated in the morning. Likely you will pick up McDonald's breakfast on the way to work cause you are running late. - if you give up on exercising your body you will quickly feel powerless when you have to move something heavy.

Re: Ask HN: What are good life skills for people to learn?

#60

Here's Lazarus Long's list, from Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love", which I had actually just posted on another thread recently: "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch man…

Counterpoint from Mr S. Holmes :) Only learn skills that are truly applicable to your life. "You see," he explained, "I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot…

I actually sort of agree with that. It doesn't have to be stuff you need to do but you do need to pick and choose.

For example, while I'm not ignorant of how a car works, I did make at least an implicit decision a very long time ago that working on cars wasn't going to be one of the ways I spent my time. And while I do certain things around the house, I get someone in for major jobs and for electricity/plumbing generally.

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