I’m a fairly blunt, “pithy” chap. This has not always won me friends, but this bluntness comes with a couple of important caveats:
1) I always treat people with respect. This is different from deference. I’ve spent a significant part of my life dealing with people that are sometimes emotionally challenged, coupled with a propensity for dealing with problems violently. Many of these folks react very badly to “snootiness.” They’d rather hear “screw you,” than some of the passive-aggressive put-downs you learn at Ivy-League colleges.
2) I’ve learned to never lie in business. Even in the interest of security, I’ve found that it’s possible to avoid lying, by saying things like “I am not authorized to talk about that,” or “That’s not my story to tell” (i.e. “no”).
I take personal responsibility for my screwups, or my team’s, if I am the manager, and give, sincere, contrite (but not servile), apologies, keeping them focused on just the things for which I am responsible. I don’t allow others to “add on” to my apologies. Which I can sometimes do fairly directly.
I never shirk responsibility, and I always make it clear that I am accountable, in direct, unambiguous language.
This earned me a reputation of extreme trustworthiness. If I said I did something, then I did it. If I said I didn’t do something, then I didn’t do it.
If I said “no,” it was accepted without a fight, and I didn’t need to be a jerk about it. People respected me, and they knew I respected them. They also knew they couldn’t push me around, so they didn’t try.
In some cases, I wasn’t empowered to say no (like to a boss). In those cases, I often just had to bite my tongue, and do what I was ordered. If at all possible (not always an option), I would try to provide feedback on why I considered the order less-than-optimal, but I would do it, anyway.