Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee • Hacker News Board

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#91

Post by CliffStoll » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:39 AM UTC

Stratoscope wrote: post #89

CliffStoll wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Jason, I thought I was an oldster when I chased down that hacker and wrote about it. Thirty plus years later, I think of how young I was back then. There must be some lesson in this, but I can't find it.

My friend, I am doing my best and really hope to catch up. But I always seem to be almost 600 days behind you. Please, can we do something to fix this? (Without any danger to either of us, of course!)

OH! You need a simple one-way time machine. You're welcome to borrow mine, but it seems to be out of order for the moment.

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#92

Post by hossbeast » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:41 AM UTC

quelsolaar wrote: post #45

I sell software and have for many years, and I dont advertise it but I always give 100% money back to any unhappy customers (granted there is very few of them, for the last 2 years I have had one). Usually if someone mails me expressing unhappiness, I start by giving them a full refund even if they dont ask for it, then I mail them to tell them that I have refunded them, usually i let them keep the license, and then…

Where can I learn about the software you sell?

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#93

Post by Daub » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:42 AM UTC

czzr wrote: post #30

Daub wrote: post #11

https://www.kleinbottle.com/cartoons_and_limericks.htm From the limericks page: Three jolly sailors from Blaydon-on-Tyne They went to sea in a bottle by Klein. Since the sea was entirely inside the hull The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.

That’s not a limerick, though. A limerick has 5 lines, for example: There once was a young lady called Bright Who travelled much faster than light She left one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night!

Yeh I know its not a limerick. I have seen a version of this as a true limerick in a book of 'science humor'. Looked for it but can't find. Every version online is this non-limerick version, presented as a limerick. I will update if I find the original.

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#94

Post by numlocked » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:44 AM UTC

I have a good story about Cliff and his bottles, and what happened when I tried to buy a number of them as engineering awards at my company (which we still do — the quarterly Kleins of Excellence). I’ve posted it before so I’ll just link to my prior comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21830277

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#95

Post by Daub » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:52 AM UTC

Daub wrote: post #93

czzr wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s not a limerick, though. A limerick has 5 lines, for example: There once was a young lady called Bright Who travelled much faster than light She left one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night!

Yeh I know its not a limerick. I have seen a version of this as a true limerick in a book of 'science humor'. Looked for it but can't find. Every version online is this non-limerick version, presented as a limerick. I will update if I find the original.

Found the book! Poem is on p46, together with a cute illustration. Turned out I imagined it was a true limerick after all. But a fun book nonetheless.

https://books.google.com.vn/books?id=UGGhM2XKE_0C

The book is: Cooper W. A random walk in science. CRC Press; 1973. Surprisingly high citation index (58).

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#96

Post by Stratoscope » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 4:57 AM UTC

CliffStoll wrote: post #91

Stratoscope wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My friend, I am doing my best and really hope to catch up. But I always seem to be almost 600 days behind you. Please, can we do something to fix this? (Without any danger to either of us, of course!)

OH! You need a simple one-way time machine. You're welcome to borrow mine, but it seems to be out of order for the moment.

Wait a minute!

You have an out of order time machine? That is what I've been looking for all my life.

I already have an in order time machine, and it keeps going the same direction. I want an out of order machine!

Can we trade? Today, tomorrow, or yesterday.

I will give you a Klein bottle for it. And even do your dishes!

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#97

Post by acomjean » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 5:09 AM UTC

joezydeco wrote: post #23

sblom wrote: post #8

Cliff Stoll has appeared on the Numberphile YouTube channel dozens of times, and they're all informative and hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLt5AfwLFPxWJeBhzCJ_JX...

He pops in here from time to time as well. https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=CliffStoll

A careful reading of the comments indicates he has arrived!

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#98

Post by Stratoscope » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 5:17 AM UTC

czzr wrote: post #30

Daub wrote: post #11

https://www.kleinbottle.com/cartoons_and_limericks.htm From the limericks page: Three jolly sailors from Blaydon-on-Tyne They went to sea in a bottle by Klein. Since the sea was entirely inside the hull The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.

That’s not a limerick, though. A limerick has 5 lines, for example: There once was a young lady called Bright Who travelled much faster than light She left one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night!

I wrote a limerick in third grade, when my regular teacher kicked me out of class and sent me to Mrs. Spencer's Workshop, where we got to do our own projects.

It wasn't a great limerick, and Mrs. Spencer had to help me with it:

There was a young lad from Dunn School

Over books with good looks he would drool

The books got so soggy,

They were fed to the doggie!

That poor young lad from Dunn School

After that unauspicious start, I went on to drawing maps of freeway interchanges. When I finished those, I decided I wanted to make a printed circuit board.

I figured I needed a kitchen cutting board (for the "board" part), a sheet of copper, some electrical tape to act as resist, nitric acid to etch away the unmasked parts of the copper, and a fish tank to hold the nitric acid.

So Mrs. Spencer got me all of those! I laid out the tape on both sides of the copper sheet and dunked it in the tank of nitric acid. We watched the copper dissolve into the acid, and there were the traces for my circuit board.

Of course we didn't need eye protection. We were all immortal and invulnerable in those days.

It was the most awesome third grade class ever!

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#99

Post by 082349872349872 » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 5:47 AM UTC

tomc1985 wrote: post #70

These things must be a bitch to clean

Unless Stoll upsells an ACME 4th dimensional rotator unit?

(Limit 1 per customer. Subject to availability and export controls.

ACME regrets to inform its amiable clientele that a recent site visit to our manufacturer for the new Banach-Tarski Playkit has revealed that although the raw spheres have been delivered and are in-process, they are likely to remain on backorder for an unbounded amount of time.)

Re: Conditions of ACME's Unconditional Guarantee

#100

Post by OscarCunningham » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 5:55 AM UTC

CrazyStat wrote: post #49

tptacek wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a giant pain to get anything out of them, though, or, for that matter, to clean them (unless you have a trick for it?).

I don't own one, but as far as getting liquid out inverting the bottle and siphoning out of the bend seems like the easiest way.

I think that would fail because air wouldn't be able to get into the bulb. If you've got a tube for siphoning I think a better strategy would be to blow air in thus pushing the water out.