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Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

stephfinch.com

51–60 of 72 posts

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#51
post #31
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anyone serious about coding.

Crazy talk. Apple hardware is nice, but OSX is at best mediocre for systems programming.

Why? I'm not hacking the kernel or anything, but I write plenty of systems-level code on Mac OS first and then port to Linux (usually painlessly). It's like any other unix. The only pain I can remember encountering was dealing with a MacOS calling convention weirdness (it uses 16 byte stack pointer alignment even on x86).

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#52
post #30
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do, I used to code on a laptop running gentoo but got tired of spending too much time working as a sys-admin on my own system... Now I use a mac and use prefixed portage to manage all the unix apps I use.

You use portage on a mac? How? Got a link?

It's not not a port of Gentoo Portage, but here's something similar: http://macports.org

There's also Fink, but for some reason I didn't like it when I first tried it (over 2 years ago).

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#53
post #17

There's something about lists like this that bother me. I know it shouldn't -- it's meant to be light and humorous. I think what bothers me is that the person she describes is really, godawful boring. The line that stands out for me: "If you want to understand your boyfriend, understand computers. It’s not that difficult." I...I just don't know. I'm an engineer at an early-stage startup and computers are a big part o…

...and maybe worry a little bit that I actually am like that

So? No where in the article do I see her complaining about anything. I am an "engineer" at a startup as well, and I have never treated a girlfriend poorly. She wouldn't skip work to spend time with you and you can't either. The difference is you work far longer and less set hours than she does. When you're building or running a business you have to be realize that there are people in that relationship that are counting on you, likely for their livelihood. Due to this fact, "dates" become less important than keeping the website up because missing a date doesn't cost you hundreds or thousands of dollars -- and it keeps the people you work with from becoming frustrated or angry by your lack of proper priorities.

I exhibit many of the tendencies she describes in the article, albeit toned down to a less extreme level (I would never do an SEO campaign for a gf's birthday site (or make said site), for example). Saying "If you want to understand your boyfriend, understand computers" is accurate so long as you take it to mean, to understand what he talks about if you ask about work or what's causing stress, etc. In previous relationships, sometimes the woman took a genuine interest in what I did, wanted to learn a bit about it, etc. Others would just affectionately tell me I'm "such a nerd" and tell me to come back to bed. Either way, it requires understanding on their part.

As for being boring, I can honestly say I've never had a boring relationship. Just because she works at a bank doesn't mean she's boring, just like coding doesn't make you boring. It's what you do with the time you're together that matters. In general, it's what you do when you're not working that makes life exciting and adventurous. Your profession should have nothing to do with that (unless you're an international assassin or something, then it's always exciting). An old friend of mine, who barely ever uses his computer, has routinely been described by his girlfriends as an extremely boring person. He doesn't like going out and would prefer to just lounge around his apartment all day and play video games or watch TV, regardless of whether or not his girlfriend is there. I have never once been with a woman and said "lets just sit around and you can watch me play this game." You're making assumptions based on outdated stereotypes.

Yes, in general "we" are highly technical, logical people. We like challenges and taking risks. We hate mediocrity and lose interest in anything as soon as it becomes boring. We can be very passionate, opinionated and headstrong. We have a constant desire to learn and grow in new ways.

Now, what in the hell is bad about that?

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#54
post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

u "you" users r !(technologically superior). use of English != technological status

use of English == intellectual status.

Fine. use of native language == intellectual status. And if you disagree with me there, I'd like to know why.

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#55
post #23
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you code on?

Linux or BSD is where it's at for hackers. MacOS is nice too, of course, it's simple enough that my mom can use it. Just that if you really want to be in control of things, you probably want Linux. If I had to do sales or something else where looking flashy was important, I guess that would be another place where Apple's very nice looking products would be a good pick, but Dell+Ubuntu is a much better price/performan…

I will never cease to be amazed by how nerds can imagine anything (and read crazy sci-fi about it), but if an object can be described as "pretty", it cannot have any other positive traits.

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#56
post #55
post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Linux or BSD is where it's at for hackers. MacOS is nice too, of course, it's simple enough that my mom can use it. Just that if you really want to be in control of things, you probably want Linux. If I had to do sales or something else where looking flashy was important, I guess that would be another place where Apple's very nice looking products would be a good pick, but Dell+Ubuntu is a much better price/performan…

I will never cease to be amazed by how nerds can imagine anything (and read crazy sci-fi about it), but if an object can be described as "pretty", it cannot have any other positive traits.

That wasn't my point at all, and there are plenty of things to which I would ascribe many positive attributes including pretty - first and foremost my wife, who quite smart, and also pretty.

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#57
post #53
post #17

There's something about lists like this that bother me. I know it shouldn't -- it's meant to be light and humorous. I think what bothers me is that the person she describes is really, godawful boring. The line that stands out for me: "If you want to understand your boyfriend, understand computers. It’s not that difficult." I...I just don't know. I'm an engineer at an early-stage startup and computers are a big part o…

...and maybe worry a little bit that I actually am like that So? No where in the article do I see her complaining about anything. I am an "engineer" at a startup as well, and I have never treated a girlfriend poorly. She wouldn't skip work to spend time with you and you can't either. The difference is you work far longer and less set hours than she does. When you're building or running a business you have to be reali…

I read your response and the other thread of replies and all I can think of is this:

since feeling is first / who pays any attention / to the syntax of things / will never wholly kiss you

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#58
post #50

For those of us that are single... Does a single girl out there EXIST that could understand even a few of these items? Particularly the one about weekends? I've scoured my campus and I have yet to find one. If(oneExists) { letMeKnow(); } else { sigh++; }

In college, there may be some, but they're few and far between--largely because they, like you, are holed up in their dorms all day playing WoW. Once you graduate, and you both start having more normal lives, it gets much easier. Here in NYC, I've not had any trouble finding geek-compatible girls, and have been in several overall very pleasant relationships over the past couple of years. You just have to be willing to look.

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#59
post #47
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ah. Don't make me break out the Tennyson. "'tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Sorry, I had to!

Only people who haven't really lost someone say this kinda stuff. The pain of loss eclipses all the good parts of having loved by a large margin, in my experience.

Losing someone (like most other things) gets easier the more times you do it...

Re: Why you should never be a startup girlfriend

#60
post #59
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Only people who haven't really lost someone say this kinda stuff. The pain of loss eclipses all the good parts of having loved by a large margin, in my experience.

Losing someone (like most other things) gets easier the more times you do it...

Again, spoken like someone who hasn't lost someone. You may become progressively less likely to let any given person become that important to you over time, but losing someone truly important really doesn't get easier.
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