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R U OK?

ruok.org.au

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Re: R U OK?

#181

Post by royletron »

blaser-waffle wrote: post #83
royletron wrote: post #11

Single dad - with two boys who delight and terrorise in equal measure. Working in an industry in constant flux, trying to make the right moves and play to my skills. Knowing all along that I am not the best at what I do by a long mile. I've had two years that have often felt horrendous, and that's putting it lightly. I am approaching 40, and have taken a turn for the worse in terms of lock down weight... Weirdly coro…

Same things, though no kids. Super lucky to be remote and working a decent job, and reconnecting with a lot of family and friends via text/skype, but also trying to hold on in a rocky industry and not sure of the next steps.

It's a tough existence on your own right now, but in other ways it's easier because everyone is in the same boat. We are more remote, but also more understanding that connecting with people means so much to us...

Re: R U OK?

#183

Post by kempbellt »

anm89 wrote: post #170
kempbellt wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who cares if it costs money, or if you have a record? I get why these are worries in today's world, but neither of these matter when your life is on the line. If you have a record for this, wear it like armor (Tyrion quote). You had the strength to do something good for yourself, and a record to prove it. Also, if you "recommend a crisis line" to a friend, you are a shit friend. Go play frisbee with them and stop out…

Do you have any data to support that incarcerating someone via forceful removal of them from their home and creating a financial burden on them is an effective suicide prevention measure? It certainly doesn't feel self evident that is and it seems quite possible that it would have the opposite effect. So that's why one might care.

Personal experience, if that counts as supporting data to you.

I spent a couple weeks in a mental hospital and was able to interact with a lot of amazing people who were dealing with all kinds of personal struggles. Not everyone was involuntarily committed, but many were, and for varying reasons. One guy was having a hard time dealing with the loss of his father and was involuntarily committed by his doctor. He left in a much better state than he arrived in after being there for only two days. Many people had similar outcomes.

If you only look at the uncomfortable nature of being removed from your home, or the dollars it costs you, sure, "No! This just equals more bad!" makes sense as an argument. But you can say the same thing about going on a vacation. The emotional benefit makes both the financial burden, and discomfort negligible in the big picture.

It is better to take care of emotional distress voluntarily, if you are able to do so, but if we are simply asking if it is effective as an extreme measure, yes it is, for many people.

Re: R U OK?

#184

Post by aynsof »

anm89 wrote: post #119

Remember, if you are in the US at least, and someone tells you they aren't ok, and you recommend a crisis line, and they mention anything regarding suicide, they are very likely going to be extracted from their living situation by force and end up incarcerated at very high expense to themselves. If their life was going poorly before that, it sure won't be better after. edit: as another poster mentioned, the record of…

I recall hearing that in Eastern Bloc countries, telling the wrong story to the wrong person could get you 'disappeared'.

The (possibly apocryphal) story that sticks with me is of the young child who told their teacher that their parents didn't have a photo of Lenin in their house. The parents were taken away in the middle of the night, and the child went to live with their grandparents.

When I hear about how easy it is for innocent, law-abiding people in the US to be incarcerated, it reminds me of these stories.

Re: R U OK?

#185

Post by thorin »

royletron wrote: post #179
thorin wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the reply. I've been looking after the kids 3 days a week plus half of weekends and holidays for 2 years now. Sleep was a problem for a bit but the kids are 5 and 6 now and sleep well. I didn't eat much last year and exercised a lot so was in great shape, but now I'm happier this year I'm eating and drinking more! Work is ok. I realise it's a means to an end supporting the family and do what I need to do a…

Sounds like a similar deal. I was 'allowed' to take the boys for my first holiday with them in years the other week and it was complete bliss. Blackpool beach has never felt so special... One thing I've been meaning to ask someone in the same position - how do your friends with kids treat you now? Especially those that knew you with your ex? I often feel like they're almost jealous of my position of getting a few day…

We have a 50% kind of deal so holidays aren't a major problem although I was told not to take the children overseas. Not a problem this year! I've enjoyed a week in Wales this year and a week in Scotland last year. Can be a bit awkward just with the 3 of us as their mum has a bigger extended family but we still enjoyed ourselves.

I get that a bit. I'm often the only dad in the playground with a sea of mums and a few have said they'd love to have time to themselves. It's important, I think that's why I'm single but I'm not sure. I think it's just important to relate to people equally on a gut level and be kind when you can. It would be nice to have sympathy sometimes but it doesn't really help that much. Things are good right now, but they could easily be better or worse!

Unfortunately I'm not on Twitter but good luck with your journey. Good to talk.

Re: R U OK?

#186

Post by exolymph »

tgv wrote: post #130
zulu-inuoe wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been a victim of this very thing, and can certainly second this. My friend was trying to be helpful, but I lost 2 weeks of my life and felt dehumanized during and after it. I don't blame them, because it's very counter-intuitive, but TLDR - be careful when contacting any sort of government authorities, because they often have far more consequences than you're considering in the moment.

This leaves me slightly perplexed. Care to describe what happened in a bit more detail?

Reading between the lines, they got 51-50'd or similar.

Re: R U OK?

#187

Post by troydavis »

tmpz22 wrote: post #155
troydavis wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Could you cite a source? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6295210/ is one study of outcomes of Chicago police dispatches for mental health incidents. The outcomes are in https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6295210/#S6titl... . Officers mostly transported people to hospitals (44% of calls) or resolved the call on the scene with no next step (35%). Arrests occurred but were rare: > The call resolut…

Appreciate your push for more concrete sources, I don't have any. There are four points that led to my comment: [1]: Police violence in the news in the United States. How common it is is very debatable, the worst news bubbles to the top and catches the media's attention. For every police shooting there are probably 100+ stops with no shooting. Hopefully the increased media attention has led to concrete studies that w…

Thanks for such a thoughtful response. On #5, it appears to be based on police reports, interviews, and corresponding docs (arrests, hospital admissions). The arrests and hospital visit counts seem objective and the authors don't appear to have an agenda.

I don't have any particular expertise or strong opinions about this topic. My interest is that the threshold/evidence requirement for telling people to avoid a certain resource should be set pretty high.

Separately, the data confirms your #1: https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cpp15.pdf (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23467379). The numerator is absolutely massive -- 53 million people per year. Roughly half of those are traffic stops, but even excluding those, it's still big. Citizens were asked the level of escalation of their most recent police-initiated contact or traffic accident and 0.3% said that a gun was pointed (page 17). That 0.3% is from citizens, not police, so it's probably an upper bound. For comparison, about 3% of people's most recent contact included any use of force, mostly handcuffs (1.8%) and push/grab/hit/kick (0.7%).

Re: R U OK?

#188

Post by nojvek »

josuepeq wrote: post #54

The U.S. needs this day, especially this year. With the unmitigated disaster of 2020, I’m “probably not ok,” but I am not in any danger to myself or others. Quite the opposite - I’m optimistic that things are moving in the right direction. I mean, it can’t get worse: - Shutdown my consulting Business in February because I didn’t feel comfortable with being around new people constantly with a t-cell deficient immune s…

I’m not sure what to say as I haven’t experienced such tragic loss in a short time. If you’re looking for someone to talk to, I’d be more than happy to chat and talk about all sorts of random things.

Other than that, please hang in there, when you’re at the lowest, it only gets better. As you said, low expectations yield pleasant surprises.

Hopefully life throws you some soft balls soon.

Re: R U OK?

#189

Post by libra1 »

josuepeq wrote: post #54

The U.S. needs this day, especially this year. With the unmitigated disaster of 2020, I’m “probably not ok,” but I am not in any danger to myself or others. Quite the opposite - I’m optimistic that things are moving in the right direction. I mean, it can’t get worse: - Shutdown my consulting Business in February because I didn’t feel comfortable with being around new people constantly with a t-cell deficient immune s…

wishing you all the best.

Re: R U OK?

#190

Post by peterburkimsher »

srtjstjsj wrote: post #82
peterburkimsher wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're not alone. If you need someone to talk to, I'll listen. Here's some headphones, MP3s [0], and chocolate. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=welW04x876g&list=PLfNF8TQij0...

Where's the chocolate?

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