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Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

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Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#851

Post by rimliu »

asciident wrote: post #764
ngngngng wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep. If you want to see something scary, go browse reddit.com/r/childfree It's an entire community of people that feel like heroes for not having children, and despise the thought of even having to come into contact with a child. It carries a similar religious fervor to veganism but it doesn't actually help anyone or anything.

I'm not advocating for the mindset there, but can't you see a justification of why that might be? I think reasonable people can debate whether or not overpopulation is the main contributor to the environmental disaster upon us that is an existential crises for humans on this planet. Under that perspective, wouldn't those who chose not to have children, while it was an unpopular option, be the heroes?

It is underpopulation, not overpopulation that will be a problem soon (and already is in some parts of the world).

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#852

Post by rimliu »

honkycat wrote: post #796

Just to get my take out in the open: I do not have kids yet. People are going to have kids and I like kids. Raging against that is like whipping the ocean. Of course we should support families as much as we can as a society, they are our future. ( And maybe we should cut workers some slack across the board...) However, I feel like people are creating this narrative where society is persecuting them for having childre…

   > Most people have children.
Maybe because whilt that's true in general it is not true in the environments we talk about? Stats may be different in tech companies with very young workforce.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#853

Post by w_t_payne »

As a parent, I fear that even in the best of times, parenthood is simply incompatible with the level of time and effort that working in tech demands.

I really wish I knew how to resolve this problem, but it feels more like a physical problem, to do with the limits of human attention and learning, than a social one. I suspect there is no easy fix.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#854

Post by codeyperson »

mike_d wrote: post #524
Waterluvian wrote: post #291

One thing I wish I could make my childless peers grok is that THERE IS NO VACATION when you have young kids. I’m taking this week off and people speak as if I’m on vacation. Please please hear my words literally: my job is my break. Weekends are more physically and intellectually exhausting than weekdays when I get to $&@# off to work for eight hours. My paid time off is a way to give us a fighting chance at laundry…

That is called life. There is no vacation when you have a sick spouse, or bought a new house, or are in a car accident. Your job shouldn't be your break, regardless of your situation. My wife is at a FAANG company currently covering for 4 people who all get double digit weeks off because they chose to have children. Does she get any time off for literally working 18 hour days 7 days a week? No of course not.

Now consider that 18 hours of work for Waterluvian right now would be an 18 hour holiday. It's all relative.

It's a hard thing to grok without having experienced it. And yeah I realise how patronising that probably sounds.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#855

Post by dclowd9901 »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I think most of my peers think like you. This article smacks of rage bait.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#856

Post by jelliclesfarm »

mindcrime wrote: post #643
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I'm 47, no children, and have worked in tech most of my adult life. And I have NO resentment towards any parents who ask for, and receive, a certain amount of accommodation to deal with having their children at home during such an unusual time. And I can't even begin to grok the mindset of the people who do harbor that kind of resentment. WTF? Have you people not heard of compassion, understanding, or just basic huma…

Well..if I could cry a river, it wouldn’t be for you.

Look, it’s not personal. It’s about the money.

Please feel free to donate your money. How about turning that non judgemental POV to those who don’t care to be on your side.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#857

Post by ethanwillis »

randyrand wrote: post #690
ethanwillis wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They get the perk of more flexibility because they're providing a service to society, raising children for the next generation. You don't get this perk because you didn't have children. Your contribution is more work because you have more time to do it.

people have children for selfish reasons, not because of some responsibility to society. That’s just hogwash.

I never said they have children because of responsibility to society.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#858

Post by ethanwillis »

Rapzid wrote: post #724
ethanwillis wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They get the perk of more flexibility because they're providing a service to society, raising children for the next generation. You don't get this perk because you didn't have children. Your contribution is more work because you have more time to do it.

> They get the perk of more flexibility because they're providing a service to society From companies? The market doesn't care about all that. It's supply and demand. If parents get "perks" from companies it's because the companies need to provide them to attract workers(on the whole).

The market is separate from legislation. Of course without society existing and in a purely rational economic scenario the "market" and "companies" would only provide these "perks" to attract workers.

Society does in fact mediate the purely rational economic incentives and companies thus don't act purely rationally, nor are they society in and of themselves. America isn't the best about it relative to European countries but even here in the U.S. the FMLA bars employers from dropping employees just because they're pregnant or having a kid.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#859

Post by mrexroad »

MakeUsersWant wrote: post #301
kevstev wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a mid 30s childless man I completely agree. We essentially sent people home on a Friday, told them to figure out a work from home situation, and then they were told welp your kids aren't going to school either, and whatever childcare you had lined up has now vanished too- and this is all happening in the course of a few days at most. So now you have kids to worry about all day, home schooling to oversee, focusing…

Mix in special-needs children who need constant one-on-one support, young siblings, and dual career parents. Covid stress falls completely off the radar.

Yeah... this. Not all situations at home are equal. Wish folks at work would understand that.

... school aged kids outnumber my partner and I. IEP and 504 support has yet to prove effective remote. But it’s the effort to mitigate the developmental regression that keeps me up at night. Cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. isn’t cheap either. ... working from the 1950’s garage with ambient temps just shy of 100F last week (no space to work inside). ... partner is now out of work too, but I guess it’s a good thing for ensure all the kids attend “their meetings”?

It can always get worse, and likely will. I dunno, just saying—-yeah, i agree. COVID stress isn’t even on the radar.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#860

Post by hajimemash »

nicbou wrote: post #160
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I don't fully agree with you. Back when I worked in retail or fast food, smokers could step out for a 5 minute smoke break every once in a while. As a non-smoker, I wasn't allowed to just sit there for 5 minutes. At the end of the day, we got paid the same, but smokers got 30 minutes off, courtesy of the non-smokers who picked up the slack. Likewise, parents are excused from work because they have children. I fully a…

Wouldn't this amount to basically working less hours effectively? Maybe that's the real issue here- the majority of people are forced to devote 80% of their weekdays on work and chores (10hrs work+commute, 30 min lunch at work but personal time ie unpaid, 1hr dinner+relax, 30-60min misc chores = 3.5-4hrs out of 16hr day remaining).

This seems insane to me but everyone seems to put up with it

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