Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

cnet.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

541–550 of 1001 posts

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#541

Post by ShroudedNight »

falcolas wrote: post #180
dimitrios1 wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just do yourself a favor and relearn basic human empathy again.

I have. I have a lot of empathy for children who are going hungry because their parents brought them into this world without a means to support them. I have a lot of empathy for children who are unwanted, ignored, and otherwise harmed by "inconvenienced" parents. I have no empathy - I have nothing but contempt - for the parents who bring those children into this world.

Is it 'inconvenience' when an uninsured motorist injures a parent badly enough such that they can no longer provide for their child?

Fundamentally, how big a hedge do you believe parents have a duty to incur before society should reasonably be expected to intervene and help carry the burden?

It sounds like you believe that only those with enough wealth that they can fully self-insure against all conceivable events of any frequency greater or equal to once a century that causes loss of ability to care, should procreate. Given our history as a species, that would be an extreme and significantly non-obvious point of view to hold at all, let alone with the vitriol that you seem to harbour on this matter.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#542

Post by [deleted] »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

[deleted]

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#544

Post by TheSpiceIsLife »

mike_d wrote: post #524
Waterluvian wrote: post #291

One thing I wish I could make my childless peers grok is that THERE IS NO VACATION when you have young kids. I’m taking this week off and people speak as if I’m on vacation. Please please hear my words literally: my job is my break. Weekends are more physically and intellectually exhausting than weekdays when I get to $&@# off to work for eight hours. My paid time off is a way to give us a fighting chance at laundry…

That is called life. There is no vacation when you have a sick spouse, or bought a new house, or are in a car accident. Your job shouldn't be your break, regardless of your situation. My wife is at a FAANG company currently covering for 4 people who all get double digit weeks off because they chose to have children. Does she get any time off for literally working 18 hour days 7 days a week? No of course not.

> Your job shouldn't be your break

Sarcasm: Yeah, all jobs should be stressful, tedious, and unfriendly. How dare anyone enjoy their work.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#545

Post by duutfhhh »

jknz wrote: post #266

Managing remote school sessions plus my work was a mess. I made my 10 and 12yo kids drop their remote school stuff and work with me instead. The young one is responsible for slack, keeping everyone in the living room updated and replying with text and the occasional gif, he also summarizes with voice important incoming emails. Older one writes python code alongside me and I now mostly check her syntax. She learned gi…

That email will make a senior HR person have a serious talk with 10 other HRs and lawyers, because the matter is non trivial, but their answer will be (delivered by your manager): "you'll get an extra bonus at the next perf cycle." Then they will wait if you settle for this.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#546

Post by thehappypm »

Aeolun wrote: post #525
nicbou wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then is it cool if I skip a few meetings to volunteer to help the homeless? We already heavily subsidise child-rearing through taxes and other benefits. As I said elsewhere, there are mechanisms for supporting parents already. If you tried to let any other charitable endeavour take over your work schedule, you wouldn't expect your compensation to remain unaffected. I'm not resentful at parents. It just seems complete…

One of the many reasons I have had kids is as a service to humanity. It’s definitely fun, but way too many people just cannot be bothered so someone has to. I kind of want our race/country/planet to continue existing even if I can’t.

It’s not a service to humanity. There are 7 billion of us out here. There are plenty of great reasons to have kids but I don’t buy the “for the greater good” argument.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#547

Post by room500 »

myko wrote: post #461
room500 wrote: post #359

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand this sentiment. Farming is critical for society. However, we don't require everyone to pull on their overalls and work the land. Security is critical for society. However, we don't expect every person to pick up their machine gun and jump in a trench. Society is nowhere near a population level that is dangerously low. In fact, we are more concerned with overpopulation and overconsumption. If you ha…

> Farming is critical for society. However, we don't require everyone to pull on their overalls and work the land US society heavily subsidizes farming at the government level

Good point. That was probably not the best example :) Though I would point out that government subsidies are more to do with the guarantee of the food supply and less to do with incentivizing individuals to work the farms.

My point was more around the parent comment that "society generally needs X, therefore anyone doing X should be applauded"

We have a huge number of needs in society - and yes, that includes enough children to keep the future viable. However, I disagree that on an individual level, having children is fulfilling some duty.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#548

Post by recursive »

edanm wrote: post #85
Shivetya wrote: post #23

Isn't it just bizarre how people can have children and not expect it to disrupt their lives. They are children, they require your engagement, this is part of the deal. Tech companies should offer the same time off to all employees whether they have children or not. Children should not be allowed to be bargaining chip to obtain more from others. Your choice. To be honest having children out weighs any negative impact…

Not many people have children without knowing it will disrupt their lives. On the other hand, not many people planned on a pandemic that would cause almost the entire support structure for having children to disappear.

> Not many people have children without knowing it will disrupt their lives.

On the other hand, the depth and extent of the disruption is not something I could have possibly imagined at the time though.

Just saying, not complaining.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#549

Post by dydhsj »

nsxwolf wrote: post #98

The anti-natalism in tech is just totally unsustainable. What will it become, a race to hire the last remaining infertile young people? Who will provide new humans to replace them - other families that aren't in tech? Parents have a strong influence on the careers of their children - we expect to completely remove that influence, since we will have no parents in tech - and expect their children to discover tech caree…

They recruit from the “breeders”.

Even before going to university a certain lifestyle that encourages consumption and materialism is framed as success, respectable, and as a pathway to happiness.

Meanwhile sacrifice for others (for example) is never mentioned as something you can do. Sacrifice is something a “saint” like Ghandi or MLK does.

So they (industrialists) siphon us off to work longer hours than we should for actually little pay.

If you’re easily replaceable they’ll never pay you so much that you’ll work so many hours to have to give up having children. But your children are another story.

They’ll go to college, saddle up with debt and, with 80k, get paid more than you and your spouse combined. But she’s working 50 hr/week for the promotion.

35, turns into 40 and your daughter hasn’t made you a grandchild. Overwork has dulled her cheerful smile. Fear of (the time commitment of) Down syndrome will have her abort any children that might not be perfect.

And, as country debates it’s plummeting birth rates, the industrialist clamors to remove trade barriers so he can do it all over again elsewhere.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#550

Post by secondsettwist »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I think the issue here is that, at least at Facebook, everyone is getting the same bonus this year regardless of performance. So those with children are getting extra time off, and those w/o are picking up their work in some cases but aren't getting compensated for it.

So either give everyone time off or give parents time off but make bonuses dependent on performance.

Post reply on HN