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At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

theguardian.com

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Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#281

Post by jcims »

chunky1994 wrote: post #233
jcims wrote: post #149

My wife passed this year from cancer. Looking back we had no idea how close we were to the end, and in the last few weeks her beautiful mind was influenced by the disease. I’m sure someone on HN is going through this at least adjacently and my recommendation is to not wait to the end to have important conversations. For those that aren’t going through this now, maybe for a little while live life like you are...it mig…

This made me cry, very suddenly and unexpectedly. I know it will probably not mean anything tangible but I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your daughter are able to come out of this ordeal stronger than you went in.

It actually means everything. Thank you.

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#282

Post by jcims »

kilroy123 wrote: post #229
jcims wrote: post #149

My wife passed this year from cancer. Looking back we had no idea how close we were to the end, and in the last few weeks her beautiful mind was influenced by the disease. I’m sure someone on HN is going through this at least adjacently and my recommendation is to not wait to the end to have important conversations. For those that aren’t going through this now, maybe for a little while live life like you are...it mig…

I don't have anything to say other than I'm very sorry. I know it's not enough but I really feel for you.

Thank you, i really do appreciate it.

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#283

Post by dang »

heavenlyblue wrote: post #272
dang wrote: post #255

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please don't take HN threads on generic tangents, especially generic flamewar tangents. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor... https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

It's not a generic tangent - it's a direct reference to Pascal's wager [1]. Unfortunately the parent doesn't make their argument any more generic that Pascal's wager itself. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_wager

Ah I see. But then you should have said "Sounds just like Pascal's Wager". That's a great point and not generic at all.

The trouble with what you did post is that it landed with readers as generic religious flamewar whether you meant it that way or not. I realize it's not always possible to predict how things will land, but the burden is on the commenter to disambiguate intent. Here are some previous explanations on this theme if interested:

https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&so...

https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor...

https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor...

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#284

Post by [deleted] »

podgaj wrote: post #271
dang wrote: post #226

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've posted 15 comments in this thread, most of which have been flamebait or outright trolling. You can't do that on HN, whether death is real or not. Please stop.

I am just different from most people. You see the term is meant to explain how people get enjoyment out of watching these sad stories, but they are just some dysfunctional replacement. why do people go see sad movies? It is the same thing. People on here talk about how bad trolls are and then they talk about stoicism and Diogenes. Diogenes would have been banned here as well, called a troll, etc. He pissed in the str…

[deleted]

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#285

Post by reducesuffering »

deltron3030 wrote: post #196

Imagine that there's some form of brain time anomaly when you die, where your last moment stretches and you live on in a dream, with the dreams during your life being the test runs.

There's theories about DMT related to this.

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#286

Post by aagha »

war1025 wrote: post #168
jcims wrote: post #149

My wife passed this year from cancer. Looking back we had no idea how close we were to the end, and in the last few weeks her beautiful mind was influenced by the disease. I’m sure someone on HN is going through this at least adjacently and my recommendation is to not wait to the end to have important conversations. For those that aren’t going through this now, maybe for a little while live life like you are...it mig…

> Looking back we had no idea how close we were to the end This rings very true for me. My dad died of brain cancer going on five years ago now. He was diagnosed in 2014. They were clear the prognosis was not good. One or two years at best. They removed the tumor as soon as they found it, and he returned basically to normal. There was a weird settling in of what it all meant and treatments that were meant to stall th…

This utterly breaks my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I too lost my mother to cancer and was there the morning I noticed hear breathing change and could tell she was about to leave.

It's hard to fathom when someone that raised you suddenly leaves your life. To this day I remember her last moments and my own wailing at both the moment she passed and when I crumpled to my knees as she was buried.

Re: At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on

#287

Post by apple4ever »

jcims wrote: post #149

My wife passed this year from cancer. Looking back we had no idea how close we were to the end, and in the last few weeks her beautiful mind was influenced by the disease. I’m sure someone on HN is going through this at least adjacently and my recommendation is to not wait to the end to have important conversations. For those that aren’t going through this now, maybe for a little while live life like you are...it mig…

My mom died from Frontotemporal Dementia.

She was diagnosed and was dead with in a year. But she experienced symptoms for at least a year before. For about 1.5 years I don't think she really understood much of what we said to her, and of course the last 6 months she was basically a child.

Near the end I told her I loved her and she was a great mom, but I really should have told her that 2 years before. Its one of my biggest regrets.

Don't wait. Say it now.

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