Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid • Hacker News Board

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#191

Post by 3131s » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:03 AM UTC

fsckboy wrote: post #172

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

Children at any age, from baby through adolescence, have developing brains, and obeying rules, testing rules, struggling against rules, and accomodating rules, both from society and your parents, is a critical part of development. Don't try to short circuit it, the implied "wrong way to do it" that you are trying to short cut is how the world works and has worked from hunter gatherer days. I have a lot of experience…

I was raised with a computer in my bedroom and no limits on anything since I can remember. I started watching porn at around 8-9 years old, for example, and far worse stuff within a year or two. I also was allowed a lot of physical freedom which unfortunately led to a felony arrest when I was in my early teens.

To be honest I'm not sure what effect this all had on me. What happened to your siblings? After all that and living in ghettos and third-world countries, I do feel maladjusted at this point in my life, but it's the sort of negative emotion that feels righteous -- as in the feeling that society is warped, not me, and I don't want to change even if it destroys me.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#192

Post by toadi » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:07 AM UTC

ponker wrote: post #190

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

A 10 year old isn't even nearly old enough to be able to make accurate judgments about their own limits, or more broadly, their inner selves. There certainly are some 10 years olds who can, and maybe you were one such 10 year old, but it's a terrible recipe in the general case.

Most adults can't either and yes there are some who can....

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#193

Post by Mirioron » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:07 AM UTC

searchableguy wrote: post #132

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

I do think you should tighten up a bit before teens depending on your kids. For others, I would really advise you all to not rely on content blocking too much. Content blocking is one of the tools and you need more than one to fight off erroneous side of the internet. Be proactively involved in online activities of your kids. See: https://www.fastcompany.com/90539906/sex-lies-and-video-game... Side note: Limiting fre…

When you were young, did your parents successfully employ content blocking on your (computer) activities?

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#194

Post by 3131s » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:07 AM UTC

tjr225 wrote: post #149

elliekelly wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Grave danger? Of what? I suspect most of HN had free rein of the internet in their formative years. I’m sure I did a lot of stuff my parents wouldn’t have been thrilled about but I was never in grave danger (or any danger really) and I learned a ton. I’d be far more concerned with the potential lasting damage from a kid’s dumb social media posts than crime.

You can’t seriously compare the internet of even 10 years ago to the internet of today. You can go to reddit right now and find a video of some right wing whacko shooting someone to death on the front page. That content was available then, sure. It wasn’t blasted right at you though.

Rotten.com? Ogrish?

I was around ten when I saw these and the first thing I encountered was a video of a man's head exploding on contact with a helicopter blade, and then I scrolled down and saw a prostitute that had been chopped up and placed in a suitcase. The world is a remarkably vile place and the internet is just a reflection of it.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#195

Post by Mirioron » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:12 AM UTC

goldenchrome wrote: post #156

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

Based on the other replies to this perfectly reasonable post, I’d say HN is filled with helicopter parents.

I think it's more of an indication that even a place like HN is split on the issue of how much you should restrict your kids. From a societal perspective this seems good, because both strategies get employed.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#196

Post by sneak » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:13 AM UTC

DangitBobby wrote: post #189

sneak wrote: post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was exposed to the unfiltered internet starting at around puberty, and, despite being a huge programmer nerd, I turned out mostly okay. I don’t think ten year olds gibbing opponents with rocket launchers in Quake is quite as harmful as you seem to think.

50/50 is not at all like Quake.

We still had rotten.com and The Stile Project, which were equal/worse to anything on 50/50, WatchPeopleDie, or Motherless.

Turns out, gross stuff isn’t actually harmful, despite being repulsive.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#197

Post by Mirioron » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:16 AM UTC

narag wrote: post #140

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

FYI, this very same approach worked nicely for my kid, that just turned 18.

Good that it has worked well so far, but I think it's a bit too early to tell. A lot of choices parents make for their kids echo in the 20s of the kid as well. After that it tends to be more about their choices as they've had enough time without parental influence.

After all, one of the arguments for giving your kids more freedom as they're growing up is that it will better prepare them for when they're on their own. You probably won't see that effect by 18 yet.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#198

Post by aaomidi » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:23 AM UTC

Mirioron wrote: post #193

searchableguy wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do think you should tighten up a bit before teens depending on your kids. For others, I would really advise you all to not rely on content blocking too much. Content blocking is one of the tools and you need more than one to fight off erroneous side of the internet. Be proactively involved in online activities of your kids. See: https://www.fastcompany.com/90539906/sex-lies-and-video-game... Side note: Limiting fre…

When you were young, did your parents successfully employ content blocking on your (computer) activities?

Nope.

I was just able to navigate through life with them and felt like I can ask them anything.

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#199

Post by aaomidi » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:25 AM UTC

narag wrote: post #144

sukilot wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's putting your children in grave danger from all manner of criminals online.

When my kid started playing Minecraft, he told a lot of funny stories about the chat and joking about how people asking for personal details were pedophiles. Ten years old kids are not stupid.

Good job for teaching your kid to keep themselves safe!

Re: Tech my dad banned in our house when I was a kid

#200

Post by aaomidi » Mon, Aug 31, 2020, 4:26 AM UTC

goldenchrome wrote: post #156

aaomidi wrote: post #104

Rules for my kids: If you're over 10 years of age you should know what your limits are. I'm always going to be here for advice and help to get yourself back up from an accident or something that went wrong. I won't block content. I won't demand access to their phones. I won't shame them in any way. I'm also planning on being sex and body positive. Nudity isn't inherently sexual and shame is a social construct. Nothin…

Based on the other replies to this perfectly reasonable post, I’d say HN is filled with helicopter parents.

Yeah honestly I'm a little judgemental towards how much these parents think little of their kids.

Your kid isn't an idiot. They probably have a much more interesting understanding of the world than you do and you won't always be there to keep them safe.

You need to give them the tools to keep themselves safe.