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I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

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Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#371

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has generally tried to take your current approach and has generally been rewarded for it, yours is a refreshing perspective. There's a persistent voice in the back of my head that questions whether I'm acting out of fear, rationality, or just following a happy stasis. It's always reassuring to see the other side of this.

Noone posts about how their startup exploded and took 5 years of savings in their prime money earning years.

Myself and former cofounder did a blog post like that once (no longer online), but yeah, I agree, there are plenty of negatives of the startup life that isn't talked about so much, especially the toll it can take on your health (both mental and physical), nevermind your bank account, which in our industry isn't thaaat hard to recover.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#372
post #367

I love life. I'm 37. Being alive in itself is truly remarkable. I've made great friends. I've met people who ended up disappointing me greatly. I've married a smart, beautiful, ambitious woman twelve years ago. We've went through exhilarating ups and soulcrushing downs. I've worked for a startup, which almost went under several times. I've worked for a corporate thresher which sucked life right out of me. I've worked…

This is the best thing I've read today. Thank you. :)

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#373

I was incredibly driven about 7 years ago... I was a founder of a startup and had really lofty aspirations. I told my wife that it was very possible that we would be millionaires by the time we hit 40. Fast forward to today and that did not happen. The startup is no more, but mainly due to burnout. We made money and did well, but not well enough. I never made my millions, but did have a substantial aqui-hire opportun…

What were you going to do with a million dollars?

It’s quite nice. You can live wherever you want, make your home just how you want it, have a variety of investments, and have your other half not have to work and raise the children and take care of a garden, etc. You can leave work as well to be even closer to the ones you love.

It takes a lot of stress out of day to day living and you can really plan a future. All while being able to continue work you enjoy or switch careers into something maybe isn’t as profitable but brings different enjoyment.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#374
post #138

Funny piece. It can be so easy to waste time when we have the internet. I think the most dangerous distractions are the ones that feel productive but don’t actually work toward your goals. For example, browsing hacker news. Such an activity is useful every now and then, but at least for myself I often scroll around only to realize later that it was a massive waste of time I could’ve spent working on something I care…

People are now terrified of putting down a screen and being left alone with their own thoughts for more than 30 seconds. It's horrifying what's bouncing around up in that dome, and having to process it. But this is exactly what we did before. We got bored , we were wasting time, we were experimenting, and that's how great ideas came around.

> But this is exactly what we did before. We got bored, we were wasting time, we were experimenting, and that's how great ideas came around.

Yep! I firmly believe that boredom is not just healthy, but a necessary part of life. Your mind needs downtime and your creativity and imagination need mind-numbing boredom.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#375
post #153

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Idk if it's just terrified, but I think we're addicted. This probably sounds ridiculous but I recently blocked some apps and sites on my phone and actually felt a little off for a day, like my sleep was weird. I think there was a slight withdrawal from the constant bombardment of stuff. It is helping kill my Facebook habit. I don't even really like the site, I just check it impulsively. It's weird. Reddit is another…

Delete the mobile apps. I scrolled reddit to infinity on my phone going through news that would make me depressed. I deleted the app and have been happy ever since. I come here twice a day for 10 minutes instead and my screen time reduced by 40minutes at least. I don’t feel gloomy all the time because of news too

FWIW I did something similar. Deleted my reddit account and now just occasionally visit specific subreddits that I used to subscribe to. I find that actually going to a subreddit to find specific content I want to look at helps break the loop of endless scrolling but I still get just as informed/entertained.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#376

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was there not very long ago, and sometimes I still feel that way. But the change I made is to be strict without being restrictive, discipline with a sense of freedom. The biggest habit that has helped me is to just choose 2-3 most important things to do in the day and try to get them done as early in the day as possible. It feels so great to accomplish, and it's challenging but not unreasonable. Choose one goal and…

Do you mean outside of work? Things like side project, learning, reading and so on?

Well, I do it for work and outside of work, but they are separate counts - I choose 2 MITs for my work day and 2 MITs for personal development

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#377

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for reminding me to turn on screen time on my phone. I am indeed wasting a lot of time on my phone reading things that don't get me much value while procrastinating on real work or things that I consciously want to spend my time on. This problem is a lot more prevalent on my phone than on my laptop. I catch myself browsing HN without any intent and without any goal, mostly reading comments and skimming on arti…

I was on a similar situation until last month or so. I read this book called The Shallows by Nicholas Carr which references a lot of research that consuming lots of internet modifies your neural paths and makes you more distractable and harder to do deeper thinking (such as reading books, etc). I’ve since removed hn from my browser favorites and get a curated list of articles each friday from [1]. I just came here to…

I liked the idea of your [1] but seems we're late to the party: last issue #433, January 2nd 2019

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#378

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess you have babies? It gets easier!

It doesn't get easier, it just gets a different kind of difficult.

I generally agree with you (I have a six and a two year old), but the sleep deprivation when the kids are babies is extremely debilitating. At least that part definitely gets better.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#379
post #235

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In fact, the people who are most motivated at work are often most motivated to arrange the after-work get together, or the weekend trip for the group of friends, or to invite people over for home-cooked meals so we can catch up. There seems to be a kind of phenomenon, like being in the zone but much longer (weeks at a time instead of hours), where you have an extreme drive to do everything you have to and want to d…

I know what you mean. I might feel that way a few days in a row every couple of months if I'm lucky and rarely ever more than 2 days in a row. It's a weird, full-body change for me. When I'm in that kind of zone it's like my pre-frontal cortex finally took over control from my lizard brain. Or maybe it's just hormones. I can do what I choose to do. To focus. To exercise and give 100%. Uncomfortable sensations like co…

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I've never observed the "feeling sick" issue myself in periods of greater productivity, but that could be because I wasn't paying attention - I have "evening sickness" like you described roughly 2-4 times a month, and I end up just popping some paracetamol and feeling fine the next day. My blood work comes out OK on checkups, so I (and my doctors) guess it's likely some mild allergy rearing its ugly head every now and then.

I can share some things that I've found out over the years that are not helping:

- Alcohol. I tried that because during my one month-long super-productivity period I was also drinking socially quite a bit. After testing I ultimately rejected this hypothesis; regular alcohol consumption doesn't seem to help me get back to this "flow state" (and makes sleep worse).

- Sleep deprivation. Naturally, in the golden period I was doing so much that I slept irregularly and less than I should. So I tried sleeping less, but it didn't help.

- Music. I had a certain set of songs I was constantly listening to on my headphones as I made the world subject to my will. The songs still get me in a kind of productive mood, but the effect seems to hold for 5 minutes, not 5 weeks.

- Anxiety. Turns out having it is orthogonal to super-productivity! I had anxiety problems back in these golden times, I had them later on, over time I've learned to cope - but between low and high background anxiety levels, the super-flow didn't return.

That super-productivity I'm seeking comes with a very specific kind of feeling, like you're doing logistical parkour through your day. And now in comparison, lack of it feels like an engine that can't start. Or like those episodes in Star Trek where they can't stabilize some force field, and it keeps sorta-working, but blinking in and out. That's how I feel these days.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#380
I spent most of my younger years making sure that my family was supported and that my kids could go to university without crushing debt afterwards.

Now I try to make sure that when I’m gone, it won’t create too much work for them to clean up after me.

I try not to be attached to worldly passions. It’s not easy but it feels like the right thing to do.

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