I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 • Hacker News Board

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#161

Post by syndacks » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:48 PM UTC

k__ wrote: post #100

I'm 35. When I look at the people I follow on social media, I feel bad, because they're much nore successful than me, often even much younger too. When I look at the people I meet in my daily life, I'm doing quite okay. I haven't set an alarm for work in years, can buy what I want without too much consideration, mostly work when I feel like it, and the work I do is often interesting.

Hey there -- I had my come to Jesus moment (aka gtfo) with Social Media when I realized that people I didn't even know and care about were evoking feelings of shame, guilt, and/or anger within me.

And then I left.

Read your comment. You're fine! You're more than fine! To thine oneself be true.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#162

Post by neonate » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:49 PM UTC

everybodyknows wrote: post #99

altitudinous wrote: post #16

I'm in my 50's and I read less now, it's because writers are now younger than me and they tell stories I've already lived. I suspect all older folk might feel the same? Writing is for the young? Being published is for the young?

Authors your age are still writing. Highly recommended: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/08/24/cicadia

That story is about teenagers, which kind of reinforces the GP's point. It's good though!

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#163

Post by madaxe_again » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:49 PM UTC

abootstrapper wrote: post #116

Everyone here is reading this article as a cautionary tale on procrastination. To me it’s about the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves. Maybe that’s due to our fake meritocratic society, or comparisons made on social media, or our parents expectations. I thought I’d be a millionaire by now, changing the world for the better, with a Wikipedia page and a yacht. But what I really want now is to put down the…

It could be worse. You could be a millionaire, have sacrificed good years of your life and your health, and realise that happiness was achievable on a shoestring all along.

We’re sold a lie from the get-go, a lovely orange carrot dangling just in front of us. Very occasionally a lucky donkey catches the carrot, because the stick broke or somesuch - but the carrot is made of wood.

This is why we have billionaires. They’re the fools who didn’t know when to quit, chewing on wooden carrot after wooden carrot, insisting they’re delicious. More and more and more and never ever enough - because material wealth is good for satisfying your fundamental needs, but once it’s done that, the marginal utility diminishes rapidly, and you derive limited satisfaction from it.

As you say, be ok with you. Be happy in this moment and that moment, however it comes - being alive is enough - ask any cancer patient.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#164

Post by TeeWEE » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:49 PM UTC

johnwheeler wrote: post #27

One key to a good life is low expectations. Most of the people I know who are unhappy thought they were going to be more than they are now, and some of them carried the naive arrogance around with them all their lives until reality smacked them upside the head.

This is key. I would recommend anyone to go to a poorer area in the world and meet the locals... they value things you take for granted so much more.

It made me value things I take for granted much more... like running water... or streets that don't stink like trash... family... I took them for granted.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#165

Post by andi999 » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:51 PM UTC

afarrell wrote: post #147

andi999 wrote: post #36

To me as an armchair psychologist, this sounds more like that the author should get a check for ADHD with depression as a co-morbitity.

Easier said than done. The most important prerequisites to getting successful treatment for ADHD are the abilities to: - Stay focused while shopping for a psychiatrist for a problem that fills you with a sense of despair. - Make appointments and consistently attend them. - Clearly and persuasively explain to your loved ones how important it is to you for them to fill in a description of their memories of your childho…

I agree it is easier said than one. First microstop would be trying to get a professional diagnosis.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#166

Post by aidenn0 » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:51 PM UTC

abootstrapper wrote: post #116

Everyone here is reading this article as a cautionary tale on procrastination. To me it’s about the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves. Maybe that’s due to our fake meritocratic society, or comparisons made on social media, or our parents expectations. I thought I’d be a millionaire by now, changing the world for the better, with a Wikipedia page and a yacht. But what I really want now is to put down the…

Writing 500 words before noon is not an unrealistic expectation. Being widely regarded as a genius writer by 35 maybe is. TFA covers both.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#167

Post by ISO-morphism » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:53 PM UTC

johnwheeler wrote: post #27

One key to a good life is low expectations. Most of the people I know who are unhappy thought they were going to be more than they are now, and some of them carried the naive arrogance around with them all their lives until reality smacked them upside the head.

I really like Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

Advocating for low expectations is usually criticized as laziness when targeted at oneself or pessimism when targeted at others. But I think that criticism happens when we conflate expectations and aspirations, when we set our target as our baseline.

On that note, exercising gratitude (counting your blessings) is a wonderful tool for teasing apart expectations and aspirations. Acknowledging that something you have is good enough to make you happy implicitly informs you that expectations have already been exceeded even if you aspire for more.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#168

Post by WD-42 » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:53 PM UTC

asw12az wrote: post #155

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #102

I've been mentoring CS college students and new grad SWEs for a while. It's shocking to see how many of them perpetually feel like they're overwhelmed and short on time, yet they can't account for where they've actually spent their time. It's not uncommon for new grad SWEs to complain that an 8-hour work day is somehow consuming 100% of their weekday hours, leaving them without any time to do anything else. On furthe…

While some of what you are writing is probably true, a work day (especially pre-COVID), really takes up a lot more than 8hrs. If you live in a city and want to live somewhere affordable, you're often looking at 1hr+ of commute each way. You have to get up a little early to prep for the day. Some jobs don't count a lunch break towards your 8hr day, or expect you to stay later, so you end up working more like 9hrs. If…

Not to mention the 8 hour work day (9-5) are your prime waking hours. It takes a lot of discipline to be productive outside of them.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#169

Post by heavenlyblue » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:55 PM UTC

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #102

I've been mentoring CS college students and new grad SWEs for a while. It's shocking to see how many of them perpetually feel like they're overwhelmed and short on time, yet they can't account for where they've actually spent their time. It's not uncommon for new grad SWEs to complain that an 8-hour work day is somehow consuming 100% of their weekday hours, leaving them without any time to do anything else. On furthe…

> then be shocked when their reports come back at 2-3 hours or more.

That’s because I listen to a lot of Spotify.

Re: I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

#170

Post by TeMPOraL » Sat, Aug 29, 2020, 5:56 PM UTC

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #139

mistersquid wrote: post #105

Personally, the unquestioned Ethos of Productivity characteristic of early 21st century Western Society is much more dangerous than the distractions which can sometimes fill unstructured time. The psychological rigidity and social sacrifices required of always being productive (with little to no unstructured leisure time) actively harms individuals and the societies in which they are embedded, perhaps to the exact ex…

Viewing this as business productivity versus distractions is a false dichotomy, though. Life isn't just a series of context switches between being productive at work and wasting time at home. The goal is to be intentional with how you spend your time. For example, coordinating a social dinner with friends isn't work, but it also isn't a waste of time. Going to the gym isn't typical productivity, but it isn't a waste…

> In fact, the people who are most motivated at work are often most motivated to arrange the after-work get together, or the weekend trip for the group of friends, or to invite people over for home-cooked meals so we can catch up.

There seems to be a kind of phenomenon, like being in the zone but much longer (weeks at a time instead of hours), where you have an extreme drive to do everything you have to and want to do, a drive to live. I've only experienced it twice, in what I fondly remember as the most productive weeks in my life. And in those times, I'd juggle ridiculous amount of work with social occasions and wandering around, with no problem and a lot of happiness.

I wish I knew how to reproduce it, because these were also what I remember as the happiest of times. I suspect the people you mention are in this mode constantly. I wish I knew what's their secret. And not because I have a desire to be a workaholic or something - but I'd like to feel again those infinite amounts of energy and sheer will to make things happen.