I thought I would have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35

I know that this is a genre of American millennial/Gen X mid-life crisis clickbait, but it reminds me a lot of journal entries I wrote when I was not very invested in the present moment. I'd either look forward into the future or backwards into the past. But eventually I got tired of doing that, of measuring accomplishments, of basically robbing myself of the joy of experiencing life. Some of this can be attributed to time and life experience. Some of it maybe can be attributed to me not handling American cities so well.

The most important change started when I began to travel. Just spending a bit of time in Europe showed this neurotic American with overachiever tendencies so much about how to relax and live a little. It was a complete shock to the system, and in a very good way. It forced me to address -- at that moment -- how would I live life and enjoy it if I didn't have my career and "accomplishments" and lived in a society where most people derive fulfillment outside of that? I began to realize that my life was full of many proverbial Michelin-star rated meals that I was wolfing down like a burger -- that's no way to go about things!

Being back stateside, I guess I appreciate that even more because I once again recognize how very much abnormal that is in much of the country. I have to catch myself because it's so easy to slip back into keeping up with Jones who live inside my head.

Funny piece. It can be so easy to waste time when we have the internet. I think the most dangerous distractions are the ones that feel productive but don’t actually work toward your goals. For example, browsing hacker news. Such an activity is useful every now and then, but at least for myself I often scroll around only to realize later that it was a massive waste of time I could’ve spent working on something I care about. I think the brain justifies it since hey, at least I’m “learning” something (not really).

Even something like an addictive videogame is designed to make you feel productive by giving you levels to progress through etc—fundamentally I think we all have a desire to produce, it’s just easy to spend time putting that energy into the wrong forms of productive activity, since these are usually easier and less isolating than actually producing crafts or products.

Well you got published in the New Yorker, so there’s that.

I've been thinking a lot lately about a line from the movie Master and Commander, a euology (though perhaps not much 'eu' about it) for a dead character.

"The simple truth is, not all of us become the men we once hoped we might be"

Spoken by a character who very much has. I don't really have much comment beyond that.

Thats Parkinson's law phrased very nicely.