Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity

Post by mmsimanga » Mon, Aug 17, 2020, 9:32 PM UTC

bemmu wrote: post #65

stared wrote: post #9

As an Aspie, (almost) every neurotypical person seems to be a pathological liar, not able to make a small talk without committing a few lies. Examples: "I am fine, thanks", "You look great!", "It is a wonderful idea!", "You are our best client", "For our company privacy is a priority", etc, etc.

Reminds me how it took me a pretty long time to understand that there are things people know to be true, but kind of wink-nudge pretend is otherwise. For example gambling is illegal here in Japan. Yet there are pachinko games, where you get prizes, which you can later exchange for money. Everyone knows this is gambling, yet everyone pretends that it is not. Now I wonder what else everyone knows to be true that I stil…

Post by mrandish » Mon, Aug 17, 2020, 10:03 PM UTC

qmmmur wrote: post #73

elwell wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Communication is about shared meaning. The shared meaning here is truthful; it's not so much about the words themselves. If your hearer grew up being taught to hear "How are you?" as a meaningless introduction, and you really wanted to know how they were, you would probably say "How are you really?". Isn't that redundant? Why not just say "How are you?"? Because you are aiming for shared meaning, not accuracy in abso…

I understand nuance in communication, but its so obviously a lie when a business says they care about you, you are their most priviledged customer etc, etc. They are literally baseless claims that dress up awkward scenarios. They are lies, but people accept them as part of the process.

Post by P_I_Staker » Mon, Aug 17, 2020, 10:50 PM UTC

Cthulhu_ wrote: post #60

exhilaration wrote: post #2

Dear parents: never let your kids lie, at any age. It might be cute when they're 3 or 4 or 5, but if you don't gently tell them that "we don't tell lies, we always tell the truth" it will become a habit they will carry into adulthood.

We have a 12 year-old with ADHD, and I suspect he's a pathological liar; we call him out on it all the time, but even then, when we ask him a question - even innocuous things like "have you had breakfast" if he's up before we are - his first instinct / default is to answer with what he thinks we want to hear. He knows he doesn't get away with it in most cases. I suspect there's two factors at play; one that he someti…

Post by wittyreference » Mon, Aug 17, 2020, 11:12 PM UTC

whatshisface wrote: post #79

wittyreference wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Uhm... good? A basic facility with lying is a fundamental social skill. Unless you intend for your children to be socially awkward / socially ineffective, lying is necessary. The point, much like physical strength or any other sort of double-edged human ability, is to plug it into their broader moral framework, to guide when and for what purposes and to what degree.

> lying is necessary. I hear this a lot but do you have any examples?

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Aug 18, 2020, 1:01 AM UTC

air7 wrote: post #58

exhilaration wrote: post #2

Dear parents: never let your kids lie, at any age. It might be cute when they're 3 or 4 or 5, but if you don't gently tell them that "we don't tell lies, we always tell the truth" it will become a habit they will carry into adulthood.

This, ironically, would be lying to your kids. There are very few (if any) pathological truth-tellers and you are likely not one of them. Any health adult would intentionally lies in certain situations and would be considered foolish/dumb if they didn't. Your kids will inevitably catch you lying and their understanding of "lying is bad" would become "lying is bad if you get caught" and "You're allowed to be outraged…