141–150 of 224 posts
BTW What's up with Tinder granting for free global in discovery settings? I am the only lucky one? Never have I had an opportunity to swipe on so many single mothers 3000km away. I think I will start to charge Tinder for my time...
Having worked on a dating app startup with a 2m seed (it's since pivoted to a brewery run by active gang members), I can say the problem of dating is looked at horribly wrong. People assume dating is about finding the person "most compatible" with you. Compatibility is an illusion. Most people tend to date until they have an idea of "what they don't want". Once they know and they find someone who checks the boxes, th…
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Uh? log(2^x) == xlog(2) which is linear?
if y = 2^x then taking logs of both x and y we have log y = 2 ^ log x, still an exponential relation. so it depends on whether "log enough scale" applies to both axes... Then there's functions like n -> 2^2^...^2 with an exponential tower of height n. That's doesn't become linear with any finite number of logs...
There are a ton of papers on the properties of stable matching under random preferences. The classic paper (Pittel 1989 https://epubs.siam.org/doi/abs/10.1137/0402048?journalCode=s... ) calculates the average rank of men and women for their partners under male-proposing Gale Shapley. They find the men's average rank is O(log(n)) and the women's average rank is O(n / log(n)). Depending on how you calculate percent adv…
Edit: reference is Ashlagi et al (2015). "Unbalanced Random Matching Markets: The Stark Effect of Competition" http://web.mit.edu/iashlagi/www/papers/UnbalancedMatchingAKL...
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I think the primary requirement for making a relationship work is that both parties are committed to making it work. The problem is: we're not, because we've been fed fairy tales about True Love and we keep looking for a Mr/Mrs Perfect that doesn't exist. Finding out what you don't want is definitely important too. Some people figure that out quickly, some go through a lot of drama before they finally figure it out.…
My wife and I talk about this occasionally. There's also a sort of prisoner's dilemma that disappears when you have both credibly committed to making it work. Suddenly each disagreement is... lower stakes(?) because you know that the other person is acting in good faith to solve it as well. Committing to make it work makes it easier to make it work.
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I think the primary requirement for making a relationship work is that both parties are committed to making it work. The problem is: we're not, because we've been fed fairy tales about True Love and we keep looking for a Mr/Mrs Perfect that doesn't exist. Finding out what you don't want is definitely important too. Some people figure that out quickly, some go through a lot of drama before they finally figure it out.…
My wife and I talk about this occasionally. There's also a sort of prisoner's dilemma that disappears when you have both credibly committed to making it work. Suddenly each disagreement is... lower stakes(?) because you know that the other person is acting in good faith to solve it as well. Committing to make it work makes it easier to make it work.
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Do you have any data to back that up that you can share? I don't mean to call you out, it could very well be the case, people date in rather not-understandable ways to me. What you're saying does not match my experience though. Quite a few friends of mine have dated only very few people before getting married. Anecdotally, the marriages that seem to do the best are the marriages in which both partners did not have a…
It doesn't have to take that many dates to find out what you don't want.
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definitely see this in my scene. the most attractive guys have many partners while the lesser ones don't have that many. more attractive guys are fought over and rifts are created because of it. It's really funny because a lot of them consider themselves anarchists politically...yet the few attractive men seem to dominate.
I wonder how much of this is perception vs. reality. Many women trip over themselves around me, but I'm monogamous and have only chosen to be in a couple of relationships because finding a match is really hard. Just because someone gets a lot of attention, that doesn't mean they're going around having endless casual sex or unlimited girlfriends.
I'd say that's untrue if you're participating in a fairly healthy poly community.
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This exists: https://www.eventsandadventures.com/ The downside is there's a lot of overlap between "people who are online dating" and "people who aren't good in group social settings".
eventsandadventures are scum. please do not even give them clicks. Source (among many): https://www.complaintsboard.com/events-and-adventures-possib... some examples: if you end up "not single" you cannot cancel your membership and are obligated to keep paying through the agreed term, BUT are not allowed to participate in any events as they are "for singles only".
The apps are particularly bad at this. Bumble in particular heavily promotes the profiles of people who are traveling. So when I go on vacation I get the dopamine hit of 10x more matches than usual, but with a decreased chance of actually forming a lasting connection. On the flip side when I'm not traveling probably 15% of the profiles I see are people at the nearest airport or flight attendants who live in other cities.
Having worked on a dating app startup with a 2m seed (it's since pivoted to a brewery run by active gang members), I can say the problem of dating is looked at horribly wrong. People assume dating is about finding the person "most compatible" with you. Compatibility is an illusion. Most people tend to date until they have an idea of "what they don't want". Once they know and they find someone who checks the boxes, th…
What if it's yet another illusion that the conscious mind is in control and, in fact, it's not really related?
The attractiveness to women of differences in major histocompatibility complex genes is a documented thing, for example [1], More loosely we've all known people who were most attracted/committed to people who, intellectually by lists of criteria, etc., even they'd agree made no sense for them.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odour_and_sexual_attracti...