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Ask HN: How are you holding up?

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Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#121

Post by arcturus17 »

thom wrote: post #72

Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate…

> family members literally crying because someone posted mean Dominic Cummings memes

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation and I genuinely hope you and yours will cope, but this was hilarious.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#122

Post by jholman »

anonu wrote: post #43
leashless wrote: post #4

Seems less bad to me than the year or so that followed 9/11. Bad and bad enough though.

This pandemic is probably the worst human catastrophe since ww2.

What? Less than half a million deaths so far. Pretty serious, but definitely not the worst human catastrophe since WW2.

There are a few dozen wars, civil wars, and genocides over the last 70 years that resulted in more than half a million deaths. Plus of course much non-death related suffering. Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran-Iraq, Syria, Sudan, Rwanda, Ethiopia, Congo.

Plus some real stand-outs, like the Korean War (2M - 3M?), the Vietnam War (1M - 4M?), the Khmer Rouge mass killings (1.5M - 2.5M?), Nigerian Civil War (1M - 3M?), the Bangladesh genocide of '71 (500k - 3M?),

In the natural world, cyclone Bhola (and subsequent flooding) is blamed for over half a million deaths.

As it stands, COVID-19 isn't even in the top 20 yet (er, bottom 20?), though unfortunately it is on track to perhaps hit top-10.

For reference, WW2 is still two orders of magnitude worse than any of the above. Yikes.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#123

Post by ptero »

reallyinthepits wrote: post #25

I'm at rock bottom. I got laid off unexpectedly, right at the beginning of the coronavirus. Severance package was terrible and I'm pretty much broke. Plus, the FMV of my options cratered, so the equity I worked hard for is already underwater. Hit the interview trail hard and have received nothing but rejections. Despite getting referrals from current engineers, I don't even make it past the tech recruiter phone scree…

The fact that you are not hearing back may not be the negative indication. The companies you are applying for might just be in a "hold for now" mode, so even a positive initial interview may be stuck waiting for the next step. "Waiting for the manager to approve an on site; but wait, there is no one on site now; how do we proceed? well, let's think about this next week". One hand posting "help wanted", another starting "hard hiring freeze", etc. This can be infuriating, but is a much better state than a rejection.

Hang on, and do not dwell on the losses. Try to ignore news and perceived fortunes of others. Read books instead of CNN and/or twitter.

Most importantly, focus on staying healthy and sane. Healthy, energetic and $20k in debt is much a much better "COVID exit" state than spent, on antidepressants but with $20k in the bank. Contribute to an open source project, try something new. Are you handy? try building something or fixing something; not for money, just to keep your mind on building things. Good luck!!

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#124

Post by cmos »

BlackjackCF wrote: post #86
mgr86 wrote: post #51

I feel a touch of shame considering the tenor of this thread, but amazing. I just said to my wife I don’t want to go back. And I have a pretty spacious private office. We had our first child on Halloween and we both had only returned to work for a month before being forced to wfh. We both still are. It’s great watching my son every day grow. My wife’s job leaves her twiddling her thumbs a lot so she gets to spend a l…

I feel a little guilty too enjoying quarantine. My partner and I are both homebodies, and so we've enjoyed the extra time we have together. It's also been doing wonders for my stress since we recently relocated to another country (can't avoid packing and doing stuff to get set up for another country if you're stuck at home.) I definitely don't miss the traffic from my old commute at all. I can see how if you're singl…

We have a 2 year old daughter and working from home is a bit noiser but so much nicer. It's not perfect, but neither was going to the office. We are doing shift work in my lab so I go in every now and then at night.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#126

Post by CalRobert »

It's over 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the Arctic Circle. Vast amounts of methane are wait in the permafrost.

Despots and tyrants are gaining power. The world's most powerful nation has a billion people and no concern for ethics. Everyday people - myself included! - live in a system where fighting to improve these things means risking your kids' home, healthcare, and well being.

I'm a nervous wreck and when I look at my beautiful daughters, who are the most loving creatures I've ever met, my joy at their existence is filled with horror at the idea they will witness the end of civilization, perhaps the species.

Worst, perhaps, is that normally this kind of fear subsides after study. Most of the things we worry about are not, really, that big a deal, in a species-wide sense.

Climate breakdown is the one topic I know where the experts are more scared than regular people, not less.

I have been trying to find liberal democracies with arable land in cool climates with a credible national defence, and have found none.

https://twitter.com/solar_chase/status/1021686779093680128 puts it well.

"Honestly, I fear my daughter will have to kill innocent people or be killed in the struggle over the earth's shrinking habitable places."

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#127

Post by mlang23 »

I disagree with the statement "most toughest times". Be careful with superlatives. As a child, I underwent chemotherapy. These three months of lockdown were an anoyance, but far from "most toughest times". Really. Put things in perspective, before exaggregating like this.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#128

Post by scrooched_moose »

Starting to crack.

All things considered I'm in a good spot - stable job that has allowed WFH since the beginning.

But, the lack of looking forward to anything is really wearing on me. Work ends at 5? Nothing to do. Weekend rolls around? Nothing to do. Looking at my calendar? Nothing for the next year.

I fill the time with random projects, biking, reading, or video games; but it's really just become "filling the time", not getting any enjoyment out of them.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#129

Post by codingdave »

Honestly, I feel like I'm living a blessed life - I have remote work for a good salary while many other people are unemployed, sick and dying, or fighting systemic racism. Personally, I am suffering from PTSD and depression, and still feel that I'm in a better place than many others. So I'm working through my own problems, wishing everyone else the best with theirs, helping where I can, and just accepting the difficult time the whole world is going through.
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