Ask HN: How are you holding up? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#71

Post by mercer » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:30 PM UTC

screye wrote: post #16

Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…

Is there any option to go to co-working spaces or the like? Some people I know have started doing that and while it's different than pre-covid (strict limits on the number of 'attendees') it's been really nice to see people together again and for them to find some relief from mostly staying at home. it can work wonders!

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#72

Post by thom » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:30 PM UTC

Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate when family and friends have blowups about the science and ethics of lockdown, family members literally crying because someone posted mean Dominic Cummings memes, trying to hide all this from the kids but at the same time being honest and open with them about feelings, trying to ignore everyone's amazing and enriching family activities posted in photo albums on Facebook when our kids are sat in pyjamas on the Nintendo Switch at 2pm, trying not to think too much that if I was on my own and furloughed this might actually be bliss.

Keep finding it weird that 10 years ago I was trapped in San Francisco (after Twitter's Chirp conference) when the Icelandic volcano erupted. I remember the combination of excitement, despair and camaraderie that developed over the 2-3 weeks it affected me. But then it was over and it was a fun anecdote ever after. This, though, I dunno. Hopefully the kids remember we were here and we never stopped trying (even though a couple of times we probably did).

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#73

Post by throwawayyayyay » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:30 PM UTC

Is New York tech just fundamentally broken or is the whole industry going that way? In my time in San Francisco, companies seemed to recognize happy employees were productive ones.

Since moving here a few years ago, and passing through several jobs, I'm beginning to think there aren't any worth working for. There's so much broken:

- office-first culture

- heavy big design up front

- fealty to waterfall and middle-management

- nepotism and corruption - relatively poor pay

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#74

Post by markm248 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:31 PM UTC

throwAwayAcc88 wrote: post #48

I love getting to spend extra time with my SO. And I love not having a commute. My quality of life has gone up immensely. But I live in a tiny, 1 bedroom, city-center apartment. The desk I work at all day, is the desk that I also would come home to after work, and unwind/relax at. There is no other space available in this apartment where I can put up an "office". It is simply too small. The best option I have is to s…

Transition to managing a team is difficult in normal times! I've been doing it for 10+ years and still suffer from the lack of direct feedback and a feeling of being unproductive. Be sure to remind yourself that your ability to impact is broader now and the results are longer term. Even when it doesn't feel like it, your team needs the leadership you are providing.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#75

Post by mech422 » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:31 PM UTC

jaynetics wrote: post #56

screye wrote: post #16

Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…

It never ceases to amaze me how different people are. For me, all effects have been the exact opposite. Less going out, so more cooking and healthier eating. Less tired from open office noise, so more energy for sports. More free time without commute, so I picked up some long forgotten hobbies again. This means my advice might not apply to you, but if I may still recommend one thing: ignore most of the news for a whi…

I actually feel a lil guilty about how well things are going for me. Its not really been any change for me, same schedule - same job. I think the key is as you said, mostly avoiding the news. Every day or two, I skim over the headlines on CNN but mostly I avoid it. I do check the stock market in the mornings - I swear the DJIA is just a yo-yo. But it's just out of curiosity as I still have 15+ years before I can retire...So not stressing about it even on bad days.

I think previously, I was just way too wrapped up in the news cycles.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#76

Post by nyxtom » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:32 PM UTC

screye wrote: post #16

Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…

Consider the alternative:

Social/political climates and the "cancel culture" always has something to target. If you look, at any given time, this is something that has been going on since we could communicate in a public sphere. There has always been and always will be a tension in the public conversation. I wouldn't say "cusp of actual war" though. There are many people however who are hoping and actively counting on you thinking that though.

I would argue, however, that all of this has been severely amplified due to social media and the current crisis of the news industries. We have to at least consider who is literally banking on your getting your attention - hijacking the fight-or-flight part of your brain is part of that equation.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#77

Post by rsrx » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:32 PM UTC

I broke up with a girlfriend shortly before whole hell broke loose, so February to April lockdown has been the loneliest time in my life, but I powered through it by working a lot (two fulltime jobs + startup) and having few close friends that I hung out with. Also started doing yoga and meditation which immensely alleviated anxiety and loneliness.

All in all, I held up pretty well, but I don't think I would be able to power through another lockdown. I'm from Belgrade, Serbia and looking to fly somewhere warm and remote for the fall and winter (Thailand/Bali/Mexico) where I'd have more freedom than being locked down in an apartment.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#78

Post by xwdv » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:32 PM UTC

I’m in love. With someone I can never really be with, whom had always shown me affection and was never shy about her feelings for me, but I think I always refused to accept I was in love until she started seeing someone new. I’m not jealous, more like heartbroken. It’s one less person in the world that will love me now, and those kinds of people are in short supply.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#79

Post by rootusrootus » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:32 PM UTC

I am doing really well. Normally I do not like remote work at all, but since my wife & kids are stuck at home with me, I'm enjoying it a lot. When the kids go back to school and my wife (presumably) goes back to her office, then I will probably go back to spending most days at the office myself.

I did start to gain a few pounds due to the convenient proximity of the fridge, but overall I am actually down a few pounds now. I can take a pause in the middle of the day and go for a walk, or even do more intense cardio, then go back to work for a few hours in the afternoon.

Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?

#80

Post by Agentlien » Tue, Jun 23, 2020, 1:33 PM UTC

Agentlien wrote: post #65

Better than expected. And I feel really weird about it. I live in Sweden and I started a new job half a year ago. In many ways it's much better than my previous one. The only real drawback was not being allowed to work from home. For the first few months, that didn't bother me since I had a lot of fun socializing with my colleagues. Then, the pandemic hit and we were encouraged to work from home. My wife and kids are…

We have had a lot of plans which were cancelled, unfortunately. My in-laws live in Belgium. Since April they were supposed to come visit us twice, we were supposed to visit them once and we had rented an apartment by the sea which we were to spend a week in together. So, lots of trips were cancelled and now we haven't seen each other in ages.