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Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

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Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#271
This may be true for some forms of procrastination, but there's one kind in particular that has a much cleaner and more precise story behind it. Your intuitive task planning system will simply refuse to go down paths that it knows has a reward-to-effort ratio incompatible with long-term flourishing. Instead, it will prune that task planning process in favor of either something known to be of higher value, or some strategy that it believes will help find high-value tasks. Modelling procrastination this way explains several phenomena:

1. The "honeymoon period" of organizational methods. This is simply the period of time where your intuitive task-planning system hasn't figured out that your new organizational method is generating insufficiently rewarding plans. Once you learn that it has you tilting at windmills, the honeymoon "ends" as the system itself gets pruned for something easier or novel enough that it might be more effective.

2. The unreasonable effectiveness of breaking things down into simple steps. Every piece of uncertainty and risk that your plan has to overcome adds to the amount of expected reward necessary to successfully motivate the effort. Listing out simple, well-understood steps significantly reduces the sense of venturing into the unknown, and the lower perceived risk directly affects your short-term willingness to engage in the process.

3. The loop people often get stuck in of closing a social media feed (eg, reddit), only to re-open it 30 seconds later. When you don't have a good short-term plan, finding something interesting is the "default". Competition between social media sites has generated several highly popular super-stimuli for this niche.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#272
post #236
post #73

Words of warning from a not so young (36) chronic procrastinator with a rather messed up life: Take it seriously. I'm not talking about reading HN in your 7th work hour when doing stupid Excel sheets. I'm talking about messing up years and years of your life. I believe it's a symptom of some deeper issues and it won't go away from alone. Lack of sleep, stress, work overload, information overload amplify the effects b…

> The worst is that you procrastinate not only work but rather your own existence because you'll constantly attempt to catch up but just can't. Idea/suggestion: How about the old "delete all your emails" trick: Sell everything you have. Quit your job. Move to another place. Having said/suggested that, I've done this email trick a couple of times and while it works wonders short term - I stop worrying about those high…

Watch out, this can be a even bigger trap. Most of the times your issues are not external, but internal, and doing that will only add to the stress since you lose security and your support network.

From experience, I suffered what a lot here describe. Used to be a lawyer, hated it, and the procrastination bled from work to my personal life. I basically stopped living for 3-4 years because I couldn't do anything. Outside of work and basic life necessities, I'd just watch Netflix, play videogames and drink

I thought quitting and moving was the answer. So I did. I found the strength to save money and study coding. After 2 years, moved to another country and am now graduating from CS and just got promoted to intermediate developer.

While life seems better because I've accomplished things, I noticed I still have the exact same feelings as soon as I stop working. I love my work now. I have a nice salary. The problem is that my issues are with me, and no external factor.

I used to blame those feelings on a boring bog, a lack of money (since I used to spend all my nice salary on bad things), a violent country... I eliminated all that, but it didn't work.

So, just a warn here. If the issue is internal, no amount of turning your external life around will change your internal feelings and problems. Work on that instead.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#273
post #236

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The worst is that you procrastinate not only work but rather your own existence because you'll constantly attempt to catch up but just can't. Idea/suggestion: How about the old "delete all your emails" trick: Sell everything you have. Quit your job. Move to another place. Having said/suggested that, I've done this email trick a couple of times and while it works wonders short term - I stop worrying about those high…

I experienced a much minuscule version recently when I accidentally closed a browser window full of tabs. It was like letting go. It felt cleansing.

Nothing feels better than being 15 tabs deep and finally finding what you were looking for and hitting "Close Other Tabs"

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#274
post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, agreed. For me avoidance of tasks was just the visible problem; the root was avoidance of feelings . I don't really struggle with procrastination much any more, but it took all sorts of work that would have seemed apparently unrelated to me. E.g., a regular sleep schedule is really helpful, and that required an automated lighting system that helps me keep in sync with the sun. Regular cardio helps keep my basel…

> E.g., a regular sleep schedule is really helpful, and that required an automated lighting system that helps me keep in sync with the sun. Wouldn't letting the curtains open achieve the same thing?

Depending on your location (urban or rural) having your curtains open could expose other light sources (street or car lights) and make it harder to get to sleep.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#275
Emotions my a$$. I procrastinate because it's easier to do something else more interesting.

I find that if I can identify something that needs to be done, which requires more work than the task currently at hand, then I can get done what needs to be done by procrastinating on the harder task.

That's the secret to my success. YMMV.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#276

This may be true for some forms of procrastination, but there's one kind in particular that has a much cleaner and more precise story behind it. Your intuitive task planning system will simply refuse to go down paths that it knows has a reward-to-effort ratio incompatible with long-term flourishing. Instead, it will prune that task planning process in favor of either something known to be of higher value, or some str…

the downside of knowing more than one language is I have access to too many social media sites. The pull is insane.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#277
post #146

Looks like I'm late the party but I submitted a YouTube video talking about this as "The Wall of Awful" emotions and experiences you need to get through in order to start a task that has negative emotions associated with it. It totally changed how I approached my procrastination by simply asking myself "why" I was avoiding a task. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo08uS904Rg

Just supporting this since I was going to share it too but searched and found yours first. It is related to ADHD but I think applies to everyone to some degree.

The part about conflating emotion and time (in the follow up) really gets to me. How he says mowing the lawn is "an all day project" simply because it's been built up to feel that way.

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#278
post #73

Words of warning from a not so young (36) chronic procrastinator with a rather messed up life: Take it seriously. I'm not talking about reading HN in your 7th work hour when doing stupid Excel sheets. I'm talking about messing up years and years of your life. I believe it's a symptom of some deeper issues and it won't go away from alone. Lack of sleep, stress, work overload, information overload amplify the effects b…

> I don't really have any clever advice beyond that, it just sucks.

I found BJ Fogg’s behavior model [0] useful. His model let’s you plot a behavior on a graph. If you create two plots for two behaviors, the one closest to the top-right corner is the one you will do.

Procrastination then is just choosing one behavior over another. Doing nothing over doing something. And you can plot it, and then figure out how you can position the levers (there are only 3) to make “something” the chosen behavior over “staring at the wall”.

His book Tiny Habits goes into more detail about how you might run this diagnostic process. Atomic Habits is also good here for the actionable changes, but I found Fogg’s simple model to be wickedly effective for wrangling my executive dysfunction.

Once you have a habit framework in place, you need a wholistic approach, which I would listen to the 1st question of this Q&A [1] (around 2min mark) for an example of a daily routine (which starts the night before), and in some cases professional help works wonders (therapy, medication, CBT).

In terms of rescue from the acute fog-of-anxiety, I use 3 meditation tools that, if I follow them, have never failed.

One is a general observe-and-dissipate meditation, something like Sam Harris’s course, to build awareness and the ability to pause life for a brief second so you can inject habit loop triggers.

Second is meditation for calm, using modified box breathing to mitigate acute anxiety. In each of the 4 parts of the breath (in, hold, out, hold), wait for the most pleasurable part, and repeat. Something out waiting for the moment of most pleasure is (a) mildly pleasurable and (b) very focusing.

Third is the same as the second, but taking a break after each box breath cycle to pause and acknowledge to yourself that you are moving in the right direction. I added this after hearing a neuroscientist talk about hacking the brain’s reward system using this approach: pick any goal (even if it’s short-term counterproductive), take the smallest possible physical step toward that goal, pause and acknowledge your effort toward moving in the right direction, and repeat. The pause-and-acknowledge step triggers a dopamine response, which he said has the effect of buffering or titrating adrenaline, meaning this cycle is energizing and can be sustained for a very long time compared to an acute adrenaline spike and subsequent crash. Once you get forward momentum you can redirect to a better goal, so the initial goal is rather unimportant. Just building the momentum in this dopamine reward cycle overcomes all of the crushing anxiety, negative self-talk, and so forth.

[0] https://www.behaviormodel.org/

[1] https://impacttheory.libsyn.com/ama-8121-190416-pod-for-post

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#279
post #86
post #73

Words of warning from a not so young (36) chronic procrastinator with a rather messed up life: Take it seriously. I'm not talking about reading HN in your 7th work hour when doing stupid Excel sheets. I'm talking about messing up years and years of your life. I believe it's a symptom of some deeper issues and it won't go away from alone. Lack of sleep, stress, work overload, information overload amplify the effects b…

Yeah, agreed. For me avoidance of tasks was just the visible problem; the root was avoidance of feelings . I don't really struggle with procrastination much any more, but it took all sorts of work that would have seemed apparently unrelated to me. E.g., a regular sleep schedule is really helpful, and that required an automated lighting system that helps me keep in sync with the sun. Regular cardio helps keep my basel…

Would you mind expanding on what this automated lighting system is?

Re: Procrastination is driven by our desire to avoid difficult emotions, says expert

#280
post #73

Words of warning from a not so young (36) chronic procrastinator with a rather messed up life: Take it seriously. I'm not talking about reading HN in your 7th work hour when doing stupid Excel sheets. I'm talking about messing up years and years of your life. I believe it's a symptom of some deeper issues and it won't go away from alone. Lack of sleep, stress, work overload, information overload amplify the effects b…

Tagging this on: If one is a chronic procrastinator and also find the idea that people doesn't think about something exactly all the time to be a very strange thought, it might be worth doing at least an initial evaluation for ADD. ADD/ADHD-PI is kind of a terrible name, but procrastination and a mind that never rests is a combination that while not unique, is quite uncommon outside "ADD type" brains/people. It's not…

I came here to say exactly this. I found this article[0] here a few months ago on HN and it dramatically changed my life for the better. I had always thought I was just "easily distracted" and a "natural procrastinator", when in reality I actually had ADHD.

Now that I am medicated and it is mind-blowing how my life has changed. I can hold more than one thought in my head at a time, I can get back on track to what I was doing before without forgetting what I was doing, I don't sleep in until 10am anymore and I don't binge eat anymore. Consequently my self-esteem has improved dramatically too.

[0] https://gekk.info/articles/adhd.html

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