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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#411

Post by troughway »

michaelmrose wrote: post #304
toomuchtodo wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some citations for your thesis below. To your last point, IMHO, you're going to continue to see a decline in the total fertility rate (US is roughly ~1.77 this year, lowest on record) as women shift from casual seeking in their 20s to relationship/nesting in their 30s and find the market for partners to be much smaller than they would've anticipated, while also nearing the end of natural fertility (fertility rates st…

Maybe tinder isn't reality and many in fact most people meet each other outside of tinder. 78% of women aren't actually chasing the top 20% of men and are in fact available to meet outside of hook ups on tinder. Reducing women to vaginas on legs that can't be obtained outside of tinder is a big part of why 1/3 not 80% of men aren't getting much play. For other contributing factors I would look at generational differe…

>Maybe tinder isn't reality and many in fact most people meet each other outside of tinder. 78% of women aren't actually chasing the top 20% of men and are in fact available to meet outside of hook ups on tinder.

No, Tinder is reality. It's naive to believe that just because it's a platform that facilitates communication and hookup that it's somehow disconnected from reality in it's own little microcosm or niche.

All Tinder does is reflect human behavior. Between Tinder, OkCupid and N other apps you have more than enough data needed to draw some very damning conclusions. Way beyond "more than enough", actually.

People who reject reality and live in their own little fantasy worlds will find themselves in for a bad surprise when they come to.

I mentioned this in a post further below - this is not new knowledge. Long before online dating apps, in the 90s, there existed alt.seduction.fast newsgroup that outlined all of this for people. Read Neil Strauss' "The Game" for some chilling truths, and then bring yourself back to 2020 and look at what is happening today. It isn't much different.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#413

Post by vsareto »

wutbrodo wrote: post #352
vsareto wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So, "give us families, or we'll do crime and destabilize society"? Sounds like mental health problems are even more rampant than we guessed. We should probably handle that.

Oh got it, you're one of those people who's unable to reason about the way things work without becoming overcome with emotion and desperately cramming the conversation into a simple-minded framework of "who's to blame so we can get mad at them". I'm not really interested in that kind of conversation, thanks though!

It's because I don't believe you have any actual evidence, and even if you did, you'd end up arguing that a lack of relationships could explain someone becoming a danger to society. That alone is difficult to argue since they could have issues parallel that could have caused it.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#414

Post by Buttons840 »

doorstar wrote: post #405

This is easily the most depressing thread I've ever encountered on HN. Women aren't sleeping with men because we know this is what you all really think of us. I'm not interested in someone with such levels of disdain for my entire gender.

> Women aren't sleeping with men because...

The data showed that women are sleeping with men. It says: "Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women".

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#415

Post by luckylion »

tomp wrote: post #221
cambalache wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> believe many of these men will eventually find someone once enough of the women who are now rejecting them face biological realities and are forced to settle if they want to have children. Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl(despite the usual shaming) or just hire sexual workers.

> Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl Is being a desperate choice of someone who faces "economic realities" so much better than being a desperate choice of someone who faces "biological realities"?

Given that apparently quite a few men have an issue if their wife makes more money than them, probably. Being a provider is generally valued by men, being a romantic fallback not so much.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#416

Post by Vysero »

tonystubblebine wrote: post #406
Vysero wrote: post #401

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you are WAY off base here. Most men aren't having sex not because women are turning them down; that's an appreciable factor for dating perhaps, but not for casual sex. They aren't having sex because they are NEVER putting themselves in a position to have sex. They aren't going to bars and they aren't hitting on women.

I don't see where we disagree. Both can be true.

Well your answer revolves around dating which is not casual sex. In that answer you address how men should treat women, but men aren't having sex because they simply aren't talking to women at all... it has nothing to do with how they treat them. This is an issue of self confidence: both the lack of it in men, and the steadily increasing amount of it in women.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#417

Post by Coutured »

RodgerTheGreat wrote: post #347
Coutured wrote: post #213

I’m a young US man and I find sex (and close human contact in general) mildly disgusting. Yet, I also feel so much pressure from my peers to be dating and having sex. The culture basically says sex and drugs are the only things worth doing. I spend my time on dating apps going on dates I don’t enjoy in the hopes of having sex that I don’t enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to women and enjoy spending time with…

You may be asexual. There's nothing wrong with that. Do some research; choosing to identify with the label could make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Some dating apps allow you to specify your orientation as asexual and search for potential partners who feel the same. Sexual orientation is only one small factor in overall compatibility, but if it's something causing you anxiety while trying to find a part…

You can call it asexual or you can call it “sexually traumatized straight” but I’m not sure which is more accurate. One has nothing wrong with it and another has a lot wrong with it.

To tell you the truth I’d not be particularly happy with either.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#418

Post by newguy1234 »

joelbluminator wrote: post #163
Vysero wrote: post #47

It's become harder to approach women. Based on my experience, they are far more likely this day in age to reject you than ever before. That coupled with the constant barrage men receive on the sexual misconduct front coupled with the notion that women only want exceedingly wealthy, attractive, muscular men makes it very easy for men to slink away into their rooms after work, and play video games all night rather than…

Most women are people just like you, they want a real relationship and want love. I know it's shocking, but they're not all after sleeping with muscular wealthy men any more than you are with sleeping with an 18 year old blonde with huge breasts. Stop being so superficial and start looking at women as real people.

Would it be news to you that most men want to have sex with women they seen as attractive? The characteristics are clear from biological studies - skinny, signs of youth, signs of femininity etc. Blonde hair is a sign of youthfulness that's why men are attracted to women with that hair type.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#419

Post by Frost1x »

thanhhaimai wrote: post #245
cambalache wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> believe many of these men will eventually find someone once enough of the women who are now rejecting them face biological realities and are forced to settle if they want to have children. Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl(despite the usual shaming) or just hire sexual workers.

The assumption that a "foreign girl" is easier to get is both offensive and wrong. Given the ratio of men and women in Asian culture for example, it's a much crowder competition space. That's even more true considering the fact that a large percentage of those Asian women in the US are either highly educated, or from wealthy families that sent them study abroad. They look for partners who are equally educated/success…

>The assumption that a "foreign girl" is easier to get is both offensive and wrong.

I don't think that assessment is wrong or offensive (although I wouldn't say "foreign").

I think a lot of the problem is culturally related. I've had far better relationships with people I've dated outside of typical white middle class US culture. US parents often inflate egos to absurd levels, set unrealistic relationship expectations, and frequently create terrible personalities, especially for their daughters.

"Easier" isn't inherently a bad thing in this context. I would argue dating someone with reasonable expectations who is actually kind, approachable, and less afflicted by negative culturaly induced behaviors is far more appealing than someone who assumes they're better than say 90% of the population which a lot of US women have adopted in their dating mentalities.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#420

Post by sacred_numbers »

sct202 wrote: post #350

For all the people who want to read the actual stats, the inactive sexual % for men who earn more than $50k is only 7%. Here is the study that article's commentary was refering to https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle... Some of the people here are making it sound like no one but male models are having sex.

Thank you so much for posting the source! I don't understand why so many reporters write an entire story about a survey or scientific paper and don't link to it or even mention the title of the paper.
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