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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#361
Reminds me of this take I read on Quilette about Vox's Explaining Monogamy

https://quillette.com/2018/06/07/explaining-monogamy-vox/

The show itself seemed to suggest that since our closest primate relatives engage in polyamorous free love it's likely that we do as well. This can be further supported by observation of hunter-gatherer tribes, or so they argued.

The author had a different take. He didn't necessarily suggest that monogamy was necessarily the norm nor was it natural. However, he also didn't believe that humans naturally gravitate towards egalitarian polyamorous societies. Instead, the norm tends to be polygeny, societies where the upper echelons of men have more wives, while the lower-rung of men simply don't marry or are forced to share. Indeed, a good way of garnering loyalty if you're a higher-status male was to share your wives with your inferiors. Many of the very hunter-gatherer tribes mentioned in the Vox video were themselves polygynous rather than egalitarian polyamorous societies, and frankly quite misogynistic.

To be clear, wife-sharing isn't polyandrous (one wife many husbands). The difference is that the wife doesn't get the final say and probably doesn't even have a choice. These societies are polygynous. Polyandry is rare and often occurs in certain environments, or so the author suggests.

Monogamy came about likely because those societies that embraced it had less sexual competition. They were less violent. More cooperative. Societies that didn't embrace it were easily subjugated by the societies that did. Progress is not the norm in polygynous societies.

Frankly, between a polygynous future where you're either being stabbed in the back or doing the back-stabbing, or a future where a software glitch causes a world-ending exchange of nuclear weapons, I'd pick the nuclear exchange. At least the latter is over in an instant.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#362
post #353

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also interesting to see the fertility rate by income. Basically only bottom 20% and top 1% of US are above replacement rate. I can't find the graph I wanted to show this, but this one is pretty close: https://twitter.com/cschmert/status/993934031174725632

Lots of people who are not in the top 1% and bottom 20% are in cities with severely constrained housing supply

Yeah, that's probably a big part of it.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#363

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

I feel like I'm missing something here. If you're in the top 3-5% of men, why are you sleeping with the bottom 50% (or lower) of women?

Only way to get a new one every other week (day?) I guess?

You can't also just call on a tuesday night a 3-5% woman and expect her to be on your doorsteps in 1 hour if you're feeling horney.

I don't think the real number is 3~5% though.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#364
post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

> It'll be interesting to see what happens in 5-10 years What is already happening in rich parts of Asia. Tons of pissed off women with no kids who want to raise your taxes.

Also interested, why do they want to increase taxes? Any sources or articles about this?

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#365
post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It seems possible to me that creatures that are denied their biological imperative can develop some very aggressive behaviours. If 80+% of men in society are angry, I'd be a bit scared.

From the view of the gene, no compromise should be made when facing the prospect of extinction.

I must have some screwed up genes, myself. Healthy, relatively well-off, and dare I say occasionally charming, I am seriously considering never having offspring.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#366

I’m a young US man and I find sex (and close human contact in general) mildly disgusting. Yet, I also feel so much pressure from my peers to be dating and having sex. The culture basically says sex and drugs are the only things worth doing. I spend my time on dating apps going on dates I don’t enjoy in the hopes of having sex that I don’t enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to women and enjoy spending time with…

Maybe you're asexual? Or, even if that's not quite it, you could try dating asexual women. I imagine they find it quite hard to find quality partners that want to spend time with them, but don't expect sex at the end of the night.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#367

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm seeing a trend in the replies here of the parent that might show an implicit bias towards a particular feeling of powerlessness in getting sex + companionship. If this is you, then know the following: in most cases, one is able to get an abundance of intimacy [1]. I know this because this was one of my life goals in my mid teens to early twenties. It was my first big achievement in life, for me anyway, I worked h…

It's not hard. The whole "pick-up artist" thing did work. The classic book, by the way, is "Scoremanship", by Frank Grey. He was a salesman who'd had formal sales training, and realized that standard sales techniques could be repurposed for dating. That's less silly than the later stuff like "The Game".

I found it hard, but in all fairness, I haven't used sales tactics that much.

I also didn't do The Game or The Mystery Method. I basically took another dating book's question "how can you find the women of your dreams with just your personality?" and took that as far as I could.

Long story short (for me personally): use assortative mating theory to its fullest and most extreme.

With that said, I have met other people who found it easy. It's definitely not an uncommon experience.

Thanks for the book recommendation! That looks like such an old book (1969!), I'll take a peek.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#368
post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

>> Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. Isn't this normal? Males in the animal world fight to death for the right to pass down their genes. Women don't care about all men getting sex...everyone wants the "best" possible mate for themselves to have…

> Males in the animal world fight to death for the right to pass down their genes.

They actually don't. Such a thing would be on the rare side in animal world.

The only exception would be spiders where he risks being eaten. Other then that, they either have basically hookups or woo lady while ignoring other guys.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#369
post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the data also shows that for women the figure is unchanged.

Because the men that are willing to put in the effort are still having sex. Its not hard for a man to become attractive: eat right, exercise often, groom regularly, dress well, develop a compelling personality, cultivate relationships with interesting people. The fact that people who don't even try aren't able to have sex doesn't seem surprising (or bad).

> develop a compelling personality

Hah, I love how you slipped this in right next to buying new clothes. Developing a compelling personality is not trivial. In fact, most people go their entire lives with developing a compelling personality. Might as well tell guys they just need to grow a little taller.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#370
post #38
post #4

The Atlantic covered this recently too: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/12/the-sex... >I was told it might be a consequence of the hookup culture, of crushing economic pressures, of surging anxiety rates, of psychological frailty, of widespread antidepressant use, of streaming television, of environmental estrogens leaked by plastics, of dropping testosterone levels, of digital porn, of the vibrator…

So it’s really really a problem in Japan and to a lesser extent Singapore and SKorea, but there is a whole generation of guys who’re just not getting any and have little interest in getting any at all. And at least in Japan there is a weird subculture of something I’d call “adult play dates” where you pay for someone to feign interest in you —I don’t even know what the purpose of that is.

>And at least in Japan there is a weird subculture of something I’d call “adult play dates” where you pay for someone to feign interest in you —I don’t even know what the purpose of that is.

Welcome to OnlyFans.

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