Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows • Hacker News Board

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#91

Post by downerending » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:36 PM UTC

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I've noticed this among the young men in my extended family and friends. One guy is model cute, and goes out on Tinder "dates" whenever he wants (new girl weekly, at least). He had a live-in girlfriend, but with an open relationship.

And if I were one of these women, I'd probably do the same thing. Even if you can't marry a hottie, if you can have sex with one a few times, that still sounds like fun.

The other guys, who are "normal", and certainly not homely, just don't go out at all, even at what I would consider to be a fairly advanced age. I suspect some are still virgins. Instead, video games and pot.

Since I am homely, this is exactly what I'd be doing if I were young now, given society's recent barrage of disparagement towards men. And especially if I knew someone like adult-me who got absolutely crushed by alimony.

I foresee no particular solution. I think we'll just follow Japan and South Korea. Other societies with different norms will simply displace us. Which I think is fine.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#92

Post by wreath » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:36 PM UTC

monocasa wrote: post #13

mpfundstein wrote: post #5

are we really surprised? last year a woman called me a sexist because i said 'ladies firsr' on the coffee machine. a friend got problems with hr becahse apparently he stared at some titties in the elevator lol. luckily i am married and had my fair share of partners. but nowadays i would be scared as hell to even take the first step in the club. i mean, i might easily become a toxic male sexual predator exposed on soc…

I think the modern idea isn't that there's no longer a space for dating and sexual encounters; it's that this space isn't work. Work is for work, not finding a wife or mistress or staring at breasts. The club and dating apps is where you go for that. If you and someone you work with both swipe right, then it's fair game. But there's an affirmative, out of work step to getting there.

If work is for work, then why do we keep bringing politics to the workplace?

I agree tho, work is for work. It's hard to draw the line when you spend at least 8 hours there, and go home keep working or checking slack and you build your whole life around your job/career..

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#93

Post by cabite » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

eigenvalue wrote: post #43

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

> "apex predator" men

The chad

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#94

Post by georgeburdell » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

>I wouldn't be surprised to see a serious push for legalized polygamy in a few years.

I mentioned the same thing to my wife, only half-joking. Many of her friends are single, professional women who don't want to date down. The problem is that all of the men they're interested in (millionaires in their 30s and 40s) get married quickly after they signal they're on the market. It seems to me there's presently an "inefficiency" in the market where they could take on a second (or more), willing wife if only it were legal.

It might be dangerous to society to have so many permanently single men, but the status quo appears to negatively impact educated women.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#95

Post by ponker » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

eigenvalue wrote: post #43

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

Still could be a powder keg. Lack of sex will drive young men crazier than lack of wealth. “Incel” terrorism is already much more common than class terrorism where poor people just start killing rich people.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#96

Post by jeffreyrogers » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

> I wouldn't be surprised to see a serious push for legalized polygamy in a few years.

If history is any guide this will likely lead to widespread social problems if it takes off.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#97

Post by dundarious » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

lilSebastian wrote: post #27

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dj1iKZrUcAADnHR?format=jpg&name=...

It’s a joke. I followed that account and follow her new one now.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#98

Post by LordFast » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:37 PM UTC

codingslave wrote: post #50

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

Good on you. Keep letting people know.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#99

Post by api » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:38 PM UTC

Mizza wrote: post #57

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

Incels call this "hypergamy": https://incels.wiki/images/thumb/c/c8/C57f84720fff59cf295616... Although misogynistic incels are obviously abhorrent, I believe that they're probably right in their assessment of their own social status. It just seems like rather than trying to better themselves, they turn it into outward hatred. I've also seen calls by right-wing thought leaders for "enforced monogamy," which obviously…

Making the world flat and hyper-connected seems as if it leads to a winner-take-all outcome.

Example: putting commerce online created the Amazon monopoly. It's easier than ever to buy from any store you want online, but paradoxically everyone goes to Amazon. This is mostly because everyone goes to Amazon, therefore virtually any product is available there. Only niche products require you to shop elsewhere.

So we've put sex online too: Tinder, dating sites, etc. It has never been easier to "shop" for potential sex partners. Is this paradoxically resulting in a narrowing of sexual pairings?

I wonder if the paradox can be understood if we look at biology. Imagine the Earth were a uniform environment with a uniform climate, no mountain ranges, no rivers, etc. I imagine that a single species would come to dominate each niche. There might be one large predator, one large ruminant, one bird of prey, one burrowing rodent, and so on... or maybe two or three, but not more than that. You'd probably have a biodiversity collapse.

No boundaries = no diversity?

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#100

Post by vsareto » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:38 PM UTC

eigenvalue wrote: post #43

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

It's not really a powder keg because we really don't suffer as a society if the excluded men don't get to have kids.