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Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

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Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#121

Post by muzani »

adv0r wrote: post #50
cheschire wrote: post #12

Once you’ve conquered Maslow’s original hierarchy of needs, dig into his final need that he added later in life. Achieve not for yourself but for your community or your world. Transcend the self, and feel that higher order need. As another commenter mentioned, altruistic endeavors are a good choice. Even things like being a Boy Scout leader can be hugely fulfilling of that broader need.

Where do I start? What's the first baby step? I googled "Volunteering opportunities" many times without success so far ;)

It sounds like you can do much more than volunteering, especially if you're good at making and hitting goals.

Check out the Bill Gates documentary on Netflix if you haven't. One notable thing he does is he picks up a lot of books on the problems faced by the world.

Personally, I'd love to help out the average person. People in my area are underpaid and have terrible working conditions - the average "senior" programmer makes a little over $1,000/month and most end up in dead end jobs with few opportunities. There's also people in more remote areas, who are paid too little to find a better job, and labor laws are barely sustainable anymore.

As someone who has implemented what you wanted, maybe you can help others do the same. Instead of giving soup to homeless people, you can give them a reasonable goal to strive for.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#122

Post by lcall »

There are probably some good ideas in other replies. Having purpose in life is everything (I think). I suggest building humanity through learning and service, and hopefully coming to know eternal truths that support that learning & service in the best ways. I wrote my further thoughts here (a simple site, that I hope is skimmable, allowing one to drill into whatever parts are more interesting, for more details, no cookies etc etc): http://lukecall.net/e-9223372036854588981.html .

All the best to you.

Edit: ps: one volunteering site that doesn't require you to figure out detailed extensive plans before getting started, is probably https://justserve.org . They let orgs and volunteers sign up and see what is available, for a given locality.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#123

Post by lcall »

adv0r wrote: post #50
cheschire wrote: post #12

Once you’ve conquered Maslow’s original hierarchy of needs, dig into his final need that he added later in life. Achieve not for yourself but for your community or your world. Transcend the self, and feel that higher order need. As another commenter mentioned, altruistic endeavors are a good choice. Even things like being a Boy Scout leader can be hugely fulfilling of that broader need.

Where do I start? What's the first baby step? I googled "Volunteering opportunities" many times without success so far ;)

I noted elsewhere, but directly to this q: one volunteering site that doesn't require you to figure out detailed extensive plans before getting started, is probably https://justserve.org . They let orgs and volunteers sign up and see what is available, for a given locality.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#125

Post by splintercell »

adv0r wrote: post #69
lxrbst wrote: post #4

Are you sure you actually implemented the life you wanted or what was expected from you? Sounds like you had a checklist/recipe for life and you went with it. The good thing is you have so many doors open now. Do whatever. You're young enough to pick up any hobby or career. Don't think about whether it's financially worth doing or if you're on some "mission" or "purpose". Don't think about whether it's safe or unpopu…

> Sounds like you had a checklist/recipe for life and you went with it. Yep, tried to follow a mix of passion and checklists. > Do whatever. love this. This is also the problem itself. I can do anything. But what will I miss out if I do x instead of y? > Learn an instrument, buy a motorcycle, make a painting, become a scuba instructor, run a marathon, try drugs, move to another country, sit at a park/cafe and talk wi…

I think I know your problem (source: achieved something similar like you few years ago, had a similar 'crises' like yours, and now I've a better grip at life).

So here's my very simple, steeped in wisdom, two word advice: dream bigger.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#127

Post by jimwhite »

Thanks to your exceptional focus and determination you've arrived early at what is widely called Midlife Crisis. The aphorism your story brings to my mind is "Don't just do something, sit there!". Not sure what will help you but I highly recommend a 23 minute investment in David Foster Wallace's "This is Water": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhhC_N6Bm_s

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#128

Post by paledot »

My wife and I are both programmers, both enjoy our jobs. She works for Google, my job is less prestigious. We don't need two incomes to live very comfortably. Our solution is to work fewer hours (both on 4-day weeks now) and aim to donate all of my salary to charity. So far we're only around 40% because we're trying to spread the money around and it gets awkward to give over $1000/mo to smaller organizations, but we're adding new charities on an ongoing basis.

Volunteering is a good suggestion, of course. Trying to inject a new insight into the conversation here, perhaps it's simply that what you're missing is a broader scope to your life direction. Volunteering is one way to achieve that, but as tech people we can also change the world with our work - are doing so whether we realize it or not. The question is, how? And do you change it for better or worse?

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#129

Post by paledot »

OrangeBlaze wrote: post #91

I was once in a similar situation: I felt full but empty at the same time. I was very content with my life but I knew something was missing and I had no idea what it was. Some people have suggested to spend time ‘giving back’. But why? There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. It seemed to me that it was all meaningless. The very foundations of morals and ethics became weak. I hated this perspective and tri…

Thank you for sharing. Your journey also resonates for me as a humanist. The only difference is that my belief lies in other people.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#130

Post by PascLeRasc »

skadamou wrote: post #70
PascLeRasc wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you do a post-bac program for this? I'm in the process of trying to leave software and become a PA, but I'm not sure what the best path would be, or how to budget/plan.

I can speak to this a little bit. I am in the process of finishing a post-bacc with the goal of applying to medical schools next year after having switched from a career in tech. My biggest piece of advice would be to not let go of your career too soon. It's tough taking classes and working a full time job simultaneously but I think it's really important to make sure that you can handle that kind of work load and tha…

Thanks so much for the info. I just finished getting my EMT certification, it's just gonna be really hard to get the hours of experience done without leaving my regular job. My job isn't lucrative (mid-$50k), but I'm not sure if I can afford to live on minimum wage + no health insurance as a full-time EMT. Plus I have no idea how I'll pay to get a post-bac. It seems like you need a certain amount of financial security to do this.
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