Be grateful?
Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
11–20 of 179 posts
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#12Once you’ve conquered Maslow’s original hierarchy of needs, dig into his final need that he added later in life. Achieve not for yourself but for your community or your world. Transcend the self, and feel that higher order need.
As another commenter mentioned, altruistic endeavors are a good choice. Even things like being a Boy Scout leader can be hugely fulfilling of that broader need.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#13When I was older than you, I left technology to try for medical school. After several years of studies, some of it absolutely brutal, I had to go back to technology; my brain is just not wired to memorize large amounts of information as required to pass med school exams. It was a fascinating detour and I was fortunate that I had the tech skills to get back into technology, though my dreams of becoming a doctor had come to an end.
I guess my message is, push yourself to try different things, ascend to new heights. You may, like me, crash and burn, but it's also a way to grow (perhaps, at least, like me, learn some humility and understanding of your own flaws and limitations).
There's a wonderful book, a bit dated but still worth reading: "What Should I Do With My Life" by Po Bronson[1], a set of interviews with people who became restless and changed careers, sometimes succeeding, sometimes "a work in progress". I got a lot of inspiration from reading others' stories and perhaps you will, as well.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#14Life is like a piece of music. The "point" of listening to it lies in the listening - not the getting to the end of the track. If you build and optimize your life around "getting to the end" - whatever that has meant for you, getting a degree, reaching a certain amount of wealth, a certain amount of success, a certain kind of partner, etc. - you will eventually find that there is no more "end" to get to.
Well, the way out of this is really stupid - you just have to learn to enjoy the music instead of always looking forward to reaching the end of the track.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#15It's a huge lie that once you've achieved the "american dream" (which I don't think is the real american dream anyways) then everything will be sorted out. yes your life will be more amazing, and it's 100% important to reach this place, but once you've hit that place you'll lose a lot of motivation and energy, cause now lack of money, lack of family, lack of anything, doesn't kick your ass during the day. so you have a huge new challenge on your hands, and that is to re-invent yourself and discover what can move you now. you're embarking on a set of veryyyy difficult questions around what's the purpose of all this, what's the point of this, what the heck should i do with my days now. just know that you've been put on this journey for a reason and there's a way out and listen to your heart more than anything else. trust yourself. and be patient. there are answers out there and they will make you more fulfilled than you can imagine. the worst thing you can do is turn a blind eye to what your heart is saying and dive back into work and whatnot. you're doing the right, difficult thing by sitting patiently and staring right into the eye of the storm, so despite it appearing you're doing nothing with your life now, you're going through a lot of inner changes that will ultimately lead to a lot of outer changes.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#16Shit, help people like me, 30 and not really near that level of accomplishment yet. Help explain how you got there and what less motivated people could do to reach even half that. I have a decent job and make enough to travel and all, but I'm single and could certainly be higher up in the professional sense than I am at the moment. It'd be nice to know what motivates other people or what they did to get off their ass in their free time to make it happen.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#17Read some Aldous Huxley and see if that changes you ;)
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#18I went through a similar experience around the same age. Like you, I had everything I wanted except purpose.
Did you consider asking while meditating? In that state it's easier to reach into the unconscious, where there may well be an answer waiting for you.
That's the easy part, the difficult part is accepting the answer as it will potentially change your life dramatically.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#19Work to solve one of the tough problems in the world. Renewable energy, systemic bias, corruption, health care etc.
Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?
#20>This time I'd like to start really pouring my soul into something that can provide meaning to my life
Meaning comes from within. If you're looking for outside sources, you've already lost. If you've achieved enough material success that you no longer have to worry about working to survive, excellent! Be grateful, for you have something 99.999% of the world will never have. Use the free time you have achieved to think about things that matter to you. Not what you 'think' should matter, not what other people say matters, but what actually matters to you. If you haven't done this before, (and it sounds like you haven't), don't be surprised when it turns out to be a genuinely difficult question. That's ok! Take your time, roll it around in your mind. Don't try and go 100% all-in on things. That only works when you have a concrete goal already defined. You need to let your default network roam around for a bit.