> vscode's remote development UX is really really nice
I'm very interested in this, so looked it up.
For your use case, I think it's just a matter of setting the correct Deployment Mappings. There's a setting when you're creating the remote interpreter to specify your own mapped directory (not the default /tmp/pycharm-foo) and a checkbox to not have it automatically upload what you have on your local machine (since in your case the source of truth is the remote). Then you can manually sync the diffs yourself with pycharm or git.
Your workflow's interesting in that the remote machine is the main and your laptop's the satellite, and pycharm's model has it the other way around.
Also, if you've already got the interpreter set up, you can just change the deployment mapping settings.