Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

health.ucdavis.edu

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 188 posts

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#121

Post by kaybe »

valuearb wrote: post #103
wirrbel wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Or is it just something unique about her I can’t change and I am just causing her unresolvable stress? Why don't you let her decide?

Because that’s not parenting? This may be an unpopular truth in today’s world, but sometimes you need to make your kids do or try things they are resistant to in hopes it gives them skills to better succeed when they are adults.

It might be worth noting that the degree of face-watching during conversation is quite culture-dependent.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#122

Post by kaybe »

bsder wrote: post #94
kstenerud wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure if this helps, but after 45 years as a stranger in a strange land, the only friends I've managed to keep longer than a year have been autistic themselves. My wife is also autistic, and we both marvel over how, for the first time ever in our lives, our home is our sanctuary where we can just relax and be completely ourselves with all the weirdness that entails. All previous romantic relationships were str…

> All previous romantic relationships were stressful and ended badly because it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and couldn't understand why my SO kept getting upset. My wife had similar experiences in past relationships. Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. Human relationships are hard. Being "neurotypical" doesn't suddenly make them easy.

> Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship.

It's worth so much to be able to just ask, and the other party examines the issue and their feelings and simply tells you.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#123

Post by james_s_tayler »

bsder wrote: post #94
kstenerud wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure if this helps, but after 45 years as a stranger in a strange land, the only friends I've managed to keep longer than a year have been autistic themselves. My wife is also autistic, and we both marvel over how, for the first time ever in our lives, our home is our sanctuary where we can just relax and be completely ourselves with all the weirdness that entails. All previous romantic relationships were str…

> All previous romantic relationships were stressful and ended badly because it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and couldn't understand why my SO kept getting upset. My wife had similar experiences in past relationships. Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. Human relationships are hard. Being "neurotypical" doesn't suddenly make them easy.

Which gives you some indication of just how much more difficult it can be for others.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#124

Post by james_s_tayler »

conistonwater wrote: post #110
Inu wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspect can get them to disclose intimate details of crimes. Sorry, but this is the funniest thing I've read on HN in a while.

If you're interested in improving your social skills at work, you might also enjoy the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk . Um, seriously, all effective communication techniques are based on basically the same principles; there's a book by a former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss ( Never Split the Difference ) where he describes hostage negotiations with terrorists, and it all works i…

That guy is legit.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#125

Post by licebmi__at__ »

surfpel wrote: post #37
kstenerud wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my attempts to discover the secret behind perfect social interaction, people I've spoken to have been unable to explain exactly how they do it. It seems reasonable to assume that the brains of social animals are specially tuned to learn social interaction quickly, as such individuals would more quickly form a cohesive group with better survival potential (historically speaking). The question of authenticity, thoug…

I have become close to several extremely social people and discussed this quite a bit. I realized that they approach socializing the same way I approach engineering and the like. At a party they clearly see the subtle or not so subtle effects of their actions and gauge the situation on a meta level without even really realizing that they’re doing it. It’s almost as though some of my neural circuitry originally intend…

I have the same theory, I noticed some intuitiveness when dealing when troubleshooting any kind of issue and even if I can explain ex-facto the rationality behind some approaches, I struggle to explain why I made that decision in the heat of the moment.

I noticed the same struggle when I talk to more extroverted people abouth the problems when approaching people.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#126

Post by sm_sohan »

DyslexicAtheist wrote: post #17

my son had a couple of very annoying years between 4-7 where he would seem behind compared to other kids on certain things such as motor skills and physical (hand/leg) coordination. he was also huge for his age, like trapped in a larger child's body. when it was time to send him to school our neighbors who knew him (because he hung out with their kid) suggested to send him to an IQ test because they figured he might…

I think you're lucky with your son. The meds and interventions are essential for some. End even then the progress isn't always visible. Speaking from a different experience than yours.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#127

Post by TrinaryWorksToo »

hanniabu wrote: post #90
TrinaryWorksToo wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspect can get them to disclose intimate details of crimes. https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-august-2016.p... https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-interrogation... Obviously you're not entering an interrogation, and you also want to level th…

Maybe it's just me, but I'm really not seeing how to apply this

Read the parts on rapport building

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#128

Post by glitchc »

kstenerud wrote: post #3

> The study also found that IQ had a significant relationship with change in symptom severity. Children with higher IQs were more likely to show a reduction in ASD symptoms. This is important information. People of higher intelligence would be more likely to learn things, such as how to mask effectively. I learned to mask so well that most people are shocked to learn that I'm autistic. It takes about 6 months of cons…

Am sorry to hear that they dislike you. At the risk of sounding extremely insensitive, can you share more?

I ask because I'm mildly Asperger's myself.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#129

Post by cloudier »

valuearb wrote: post #77
JacksonGariety wrote: post #18

I have high-functioning autism. Does anyone have some suggestions for making and keeping friends? When I meet a friend, things seem to go really well at first, and then my friend seems to slowly get bored of the interactions we have, and after a couple months I just don't hear from them again. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Is there a scientific way to find out?

What I tell me kids is, balance conversations around your friends. Don’t tell them what’s on your mind, you can always get to that later. Ask them what is new with them, ask follow up questions, express interest, shock, delight, concern as needed. Make it your goal to learn more about them every conversation. It’s easy for my wife to do. Hard for me, and the kids to.

I also saw this advice in “How to make friends and influence people” but I found that following it alienated people: they often felt like they were being interrogated instead of enjoying a conversation.

Re: Autism severity can change substantially during early childhood, study suggests

#130

Post by tjr225 »

amelius wrote: post #63
surfpel wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have become close to several extremely social people and discussed this quite a bit. I realized that they approach socializing the same way I approach engineering and the like. At a party they clearly see the subtle or not so subtle effects of their actions and gauge the situation on a meta level without even really realizing that they’re doing it. It’s almost as though some of my neural circuitry originally intend…

> I realized that they approach socializing the same way I approach engineering and the like. That sounds like a dishonest way of treating people, and might be a reason why some people prefer to be more introvert.

I don’t know if that’s quite what they meant. I understood it as an “intuitiveness.”

I used to work with young adults on the autism spectrum at a ymca camp and the higher functioning folks lacked the ability to intuitively interact with others- the same way I might not intuitively understand engineering problems. I get frustrated by them and don’t know what to do. Imagine if that is how you felt interacting with people on a very basic basis.

Post reply on HN