“Become Abnormal”: traits to cultivate for top performance

Warning: this post is a generalisation that could offend some people. I’m writing it because I feel I have to.

This reads _very_ American. By that I mean both a good and, more so than ever in 2020, a bad thing.

The good is obviously the undying optimism, self belief resilience and competitiveness I see displayed in the American way of life so often.

The bad is how it lays the responsibility for outcomes solely at the individual’s feet. “Not terribly successful? Stop blaming your kids, your marriage, it’s YOUR fault, you’re the one not doing enough”.

When does society get a share of the blame? When do you stop playing a game that’s rigged against you? Do you forever keep doing _more_ reducing yourself to a life of penitence and toil to be “exceptional”? This black or white, if I’m not a winner I’m a loser mentality is terribly unhealthy to the individual, society and frankly, to other nations.

I've watched enough people grow up, become rich and powerful, then find in their 40s they have absolutely no skills to enjoy the fruits of their labor. They stopped practicing empathy so long ago to get to where they were they don't even realize how much of life's genuine enjoyment they are missing. There are a few who have the time of their lives the whole way through. Not very many.

In short, just because one can, doesn't mean one should. Understand that you are closing off doors as much as opening new ones - make sure that you don't forget which ones you deep down don't want to close off.

I didn't read any of that in this article. Maybe the not accepting excuses point?

One type of leader I've encountered in my career is the one who won't accept accept excuses. "If you can't do it, I'll get someone who can." It's not personal, it's a business.

Another type of leader I've encountered is one who builds the team up and accepts the occasional failure, knowing that in the long run there may be more wins because the team will grow professionally.

Personally, as a leader I find myself more in the second group. However, both are really equally valid, in the long run--in that they have an equal chance to achieve business goals.

How are the other two points (Don't languish in what you can't change, look for a solution in every failure) an "American" viewpoint?

I've been thinking about this problem a bit too, this distinction between individual and collective responsibility. Here's what I've arrived at so far:

First, you have to have your own definition of success. Not everyone wants to be a rich entrepreneur with a million side hustles. Don't fall for the implicit message writers like this promote that you are a loser if you haven't built a multi-million dollar business from scratch. Identify your own goals and what makes you happy and work towards that even if its not in line with what pop leadership articles like this promote.

Second, forgive me for re-stating what this post already said, but focus on what you can control. This is where individual responsibility is important. Not only will you be more effective, but you'll be happier.

Third, you should make efforts that are within your control to improve structures and institutions that are making it easier for some people and harder for others. I would argue there is a moral imperative on those of us who are the beneficiaries of these systems to put extra focus here. Vote every chance you get. Donate time and money to organizations pushing for systemic change. Find opportunities to make the world a more equal place and act on them.

> the issue is more with picking "abnormal" as a goal

I actually like this language. It’s a different way of asking “what makes you different, and how can you leverage instead of fighting that?”