Honestly that's the worst way to look at it. In the grand scheme of things kids are way more important than any career. Obviously kids drag your career down but ask yourself: what are you going to leave behind after you die? Will you be yet another inheritance the government gets after you die? Yet another dead SSN? Or will you leave behind something far more valuable than a mere product like 2+ living beings continuing your bloodline and thus making the world better,safer and one step closer to the future? You are a mere spec a mere nothing compared to earth... 1 out of 8 billion... You can't live forever, you can't bribe death, you can't even delay the inevitable by a lot - the best you could do is on average 10 years in pain and misery... When you are old and sick who will be there to hand you a glass of water? Who will wipe your * when you can't... Who will defend you against bad people when you are too old? Your money devalues with each day, the clock is ticking, every second passes never to be seen again you are one second closer to death and you can't bring your money to the afterlife... Kids will outlast you... Money is worth as much as people say it does.
Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
91–100 of 136 posts
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#92What a vile question. Not that I'm suggesting malice on OP's part, but rather that this question is the manifestation of an all-too-common perverse mindset among many young adults in the West that disgusts me. They are victims of the relentless propaganda around empowerment and living one's 'best life' that inevitably leads to childless, lonely, bitter, empty, miserable 40-somethings with a gaping hole in their heart…
> What do these people even have to live for? As someone that's childfree in his thirties and is planning to not have any children; I live for myself, my own aspirations, philosophy, love and exploration. Career certainly does not come first, but its not hard to see how having a family would stop me in my tracks of progress in life. Being around peers with children does bring me joy, but it would be a personal experi…
It doesn't matter what you think. You are a drone. In 50 years, you will be extinct.
And please refrain from voting. What right do you have to a say in your nation's future if you openly shirk any investment or responsibility towards it?
Work, tax, disappear. As you were, drone.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#93What a vile question. Not that I'm suggesting malice on OP's part, but rather that this question is the manifestation of an all-too-common perverse mindset among many young adults in the West that disgusts me. They are victims of the relentless propaganda around empowerment and living one's 'best life' that inevitably leads to childless, lonely, bitter, empty, miserable 40-somethings with a gaping hole in their heart…
So passes the glory of this world. But which glory? There are plenty of families and people who prefer to live to work than be stuck in an endless work>home cycle that bores more than the Truman show in a loveless marriage with kids they dont like as resentment builds for past indiscretions and it ends badly. There will always be the cogs that dont fit, as much as it may seem that the childless life is an affront to…
Yes marriage is loveless, children are a drag, nothing really matters.
I hope they had your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid, at the very least.
I don't respect their sacrifice. I pity their foolishness. I loathe their selfishness. I'm frustrated by their ignorance.
If they want my respect, they can raise a big and beautiful family of wonderful people for my children to share our nation with. No career or activism can come close to that contribution to society; consciously and deliberately avoiding it is always a terrible waste.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#94Earlier quoted context omitted.
It seems to be a recent cultural development though. It wasn't that long ago that a man or woman would not be seen to have truly come of age until having a family of their own, or at least marriage. Tune into any popular media today though and it's all bumbling dad and overworked mum tropes demonizing healthy happy families while our rates of depression and mental illness soar. Funny, that. While the pro-family minds…
> It wasn't that long ago that a man or woman would not be seen to have truly come of age until having a family of their own, or at least marriage Many views in society were different not that long ago. You can't just cherry pick the changes and say some were good or bad without rational arguments. People have more options these days, and there's no rational argument for wanting kids. It's just a biological instinct…
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Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#95Honestly that's the worst way to look at it. In the grand scheme of things kids are way more important than any career. Obviously kids drag your career down but ask yourself: what are you going to leave behind after you die? Will you be yet another inheritance the government gets after you die? Yet another dead SSN? Or will you leave behind something far more valuable than a mere product like 2+ living beings continu…
> In the grand scheme of things kids are way more important than any career.
So, you're not a utilitarian?
> far more valuable than a mere product like 2+ living beings continuing your bloodline and thus making the world better,safer and one step closer to the future
I'm not seeing how leaving more people in the world is necessarily making it a better place. Why should it be better that way? Why should OP's offsprings be making the world a safer place? What does "one step closer to the future" even mean in this context?
The concrete negative impact of producing more humans: more consumption (even if they're non-consumptionist), more global warming, more destabilized ecosystem.
> When you are old and sick who will be there to hand you a glass of water? [...] Who will defend you against bad people when you are too old?
People often worry about securing help for their old age. Can't raise a glass of water and can't defend against bad people? Perhaps one led a good life - what issue is there with just letting go? Alan Watts said the second half of life was all about preparing to die.
Fwiw, I'm planning to have children, for my own selfish reasons. The reasons you cited don't speak to me much.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#96Earlier quoted context omitted.
So passes the glory of this world. But which glory? There are plenty of families and people who prefer to live to work than be stuck in an endless work>home cycle that bores more than the Truman show in a loveless marriage with kids they dont like as resentment builds for past indiscretions and it ends badly. There will always be the cogs that dont fit, as much as it may seem that the childless life is an affront to…
Yes marriage is loveless, children are a drag, nothing really matters. I hope they had your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid, at the very least. I don't respect their sacrifice. I pity their foolishness. I loathe their selfishness. I'm frustrated by their ignorance. If they want my respect, they can raise a big and beautiful family of wonderful people for my children to share our nation with. No career or activism can c…
Saying there are problems in marriage and disliking kids is not the same as nihilism. If it didnt matter there would be little cause to build resentment, one would just float through nothingness.
If you hold such foul thoughts and emotions for those providing a service to you at a great cost, maybe they should stop working for you. Power lines are frequently maintained by the least likely to get romantic attention, and they muddle through with their personal flaws to keep the lights on for you.
I know smart well educated people working on research for diseases that cant keep their private life together.
You see this topic as very black and white, idealistically and naively. Your countries' freedom was bought on the backs of many soldiers who didnt reproduce, and went into battle knowing that death was a possible outcome. Would you do the same?
Or would defending your country be a koolaid in your flavour, that is a foolish sacrifice borne out of ignorance?
Your respect isn't worth having if you can't see the value in sacrifice.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#97Doing more stuff means you have less time for work. If you really like work and want to spend all your time doing it why have kids, pets, relationships, hobbies..?
In my case having children has made me more interested in my career. I need to provide for them and set a good example to an extent. Previously my focus was on whitewater kayaking, spending time with friends and travelling. I can't really do those things now anyway so it makes sense to spend more time on my career, but while the children are awake and I'm there I prioritize them.
You may want to think about the kind of companies you work for. If everyone else in your company has kids and family responsibility their priorities will be more aligned to yours. I found this out to my cost and would be unlikely to work with a small focused start up in the near future.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#98I'm the CTO of a small company (about a dozen people), and I don't know that my career has been hurt, but I've certainly had to reprioritize. Doing dev work, where the occasional task can take 30m to 30h, and you have to be focused for hours on end, is less practical when you have to rush out for daycare pickup, have a toddler jumping on you, or try to work during nap time which often ends earlier than you'd like. Co…
> gives a good first impression since people assume I'm at least competent enough to provide basic care to a child.
This made me laugh. Impostor syndrome much?
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#99What a vile question. Not that I'm suggesting malice on OP's part, but rather that this question is the manifestation of an all-too-common perverse mindset among many young adults in the West that disgusts me. They are victims of the relentless propaganda around empowerment and living one's 'best life' that inevitably leads to childless, lonely, bitter, empty, miserable 40-somethings with a gaping hole in their heart…
Some people just don’t like kids, you know.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
> What do these people even have to live for? As someone that's childfree in his thirties and is planning to not have any children; I live for myself, my own aspirations, philosophy, love and exploration. Career certainly does not come first, but its not hard to see how having a family would stop me in my tracks of progress in life. Being around peers with children does bring me joy, but it would be a personal experi…
It doesn't matter what you think. You are a drone. In 50 years, you will be extinct. And please refrain from voting. What right do you have to a say in your nation's future if you openly shirk any investment or responsibility towards it? Work, tax, disappear. As you were, drone.
Are you really saying that people without children shouldn’t vote?