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Tell HN: Call Mom

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191–200 of 243 posts

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#191

I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.

Are you OK? If you want to talk further I can be available via Discord, Teams, mobile, whatever...

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#192

My mum passed a few years ago. I miss her deeply, she was just 59 and she missed the chance to meet her first grandchild. I live in London and she lived in California, we’d speak to each other a few times a week. Since she left earth and moved to the universe, she’s become a super awesome space mum! I speak to her everyday. I do miss the hugs, the laughs and life lessons mind you. Her greatest lesson was when she lef…

> Since she left earth and moved to the universe, she’s become a super awesome space mum! I speak to her everyday.

Oh man... right in the feels.

I hope you can your family are doing well over in London.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#193

I used to call my family every weekend, since I became a dad we talk 2-3 per week, the newborn has rejuvenated the family relationship and on my side I understand more what being a mum means. My boy is 1 year old and I would never understand some of the things mum did until I saw this little one grow. Call your mom's regardless.

Can you give an example of something you understand better about her behavior?

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#194

I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…

It shouldn't be a surprise that the same culture that brought us deplatforming and canceling, would bring us cutting out your parents because you disagree with their politics. Do it for yourself. Your parents are a huge part of your psyche: they made you--100% in a genetic sense, and in most cases they made a lot of your personality traits by the way they raised you. And they made you in their image, because they cou…

> it's pretty fucked up that so many people just write off people because they hold radical political views.

It's extremely reasonable actually.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#195

If your mother is a kind person whom you love, then by all means reach out and tell her. To others like me who may have a gaslighting c* * * of a mother, don't be bullied by societal norms into feeling like a bad person just because you don't want to connect with an abuser. It's perfectly fine to not call your mother on mother's day if you don't have the kind of relationship that will benefit from it.

Very much agree. I severed ties with my "parents" back in December after realizing I'm old enough and successful enough that I don't have to put up with their narcissism and abuse anymore. It's nice to not have to pretend anymore.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It shouldn't be a surprise that the same culture that brought us deplatforming and canceling, would bring us cutting out your parents because you disagree with their politics. Do it for yourself. Your parents are a huge part of your psyche: they made you--100% in a genetic sense, and in most cases they made a lot of your personality traits by the way they raised you. And they made you in their image, because they cou…

> it's pretty fucked up that so many people just write off people because they hold radical political views. It's extremely reasonable actually.

I guess it's "extremely reasonable" as long as you're extremely comfortable living in a box, only accepting viewpoints that align with your own, and to hell with everyone, including your family who don't agree with YOU. Because when it comes down to it, it's not about them, it's about you.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#197

I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.

I was 21. My mom was in a permanent state of postoperative delirium and I was nursing her into her last days. It was just the two of us & I wasn't up to the task. I doubt I knew it was Mother's day. A few weeks earlier: My older siblings and I sent a bright, aware, career budget analyst into cancer surgery. The hospital returned a woman who no longer recognized us or even where she was. We were sent home and some hom…

You did right by her, so hey!

Details aside (because OPSEC) I'll be dealing with something like that for (ideally) years. With luck, perhaps for the rest of my life. It is quite the privilege, as difficult as it may be sometimes. And we have many friends to share the work. Which is fortunate, because I'd otherwise be overwhelmed.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#198
post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you arguing that generalizations shouldn't exist, or... ?

No. I’m not arguing anything . I’m cautioning the making of assumptions -even (maybe: ‘especially’?) in the face of cultural normatives. Edit: Expanding some, since brevity gives too much room for ambiguity: cultural norms for some can be a point of pain for others because of forces we as observers to the experiences of others may never have to contend with; assumptions in the face of these norms can sometimes box a…

This is an argument. How is it not? But I'm not sure what you're arguing for or even against at this point.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#199

I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…

It shouldn't be a surprise that the same culture that brought us deplatforming and canceling, would bring us cutting out your parents because you disagree with their politics. Do it for yourself. Your parents are a huge part of your psyche: they made you--100% in a genetic sense, and in most cases they made a lot of your personality traits by the way they raised you. And they made you in their image, because they cou…

Maybe some y'all will hate on me for it (or would, if I got into specifics) but I can find common ground with just about anyone. Although I am very opinionated, I do my best to keep in mind that they're just opinions, and that I don't have the truth.

I don't explain why others are wrong. I just have conversations. And I'm always willing to change my opinion.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#200
post #144

Why are other people concerned about the relationship dynamics in the families of others that do not affect them? Won’t people who already want to do this do this without prompting? Will people who don’t want to suddenly change their mind because they were prompted? What is the intended goal of this post, benatkin? Do you wish for people who don’t want to speak to their mothers to do so anyway, because you told them…

My goal is to give people a nudge in the direction of calling their mothers, or a mother figure in their life. This is actually what I intended by saying "call important people in your life". I didn't intend to imply that everyone's mother has an important role in their life today. I thought it would be a valuable prompting for many people in the tech startup community to receive, because the pandemic is making peopl…

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