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Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

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Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#791

Post by jyounker »

polytely wrote: post #651
endymi0n wrote: post #150

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…

My best advice about writer's block is: the reason you're having a hard time writing is because of a conflict between the GOAL of writing well and the FEAR of writing badly. By default, our instinct is to conquer the fear, but our feelings are much, much, less within our control than the goals we set, and since it's the conflict BETWEEN the two forces blocking you, if you simply change your goal from "writing well" t…

This one works for dating too. If you are trying to get rejected, it turns out to be incredibly hard to do.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#792

Post by Aperocky »

darkerside wrote: post #192

This might be super basic, but... assume positive intent. Your parent is not your enemy. Your teacher is not your enemy. Your boss is not your enemy. The other team at work is not your enemy. The corporation is not your enemy. The other political party is not your enemy. Or, more accurately, YOU are not THEIR enemy. At best, you're an NPC in their game. Many of them probably even want to help you, because you are ano…

This is generally true when you're not a minority, unfortunately, that trait is (almost always) decided when you're born.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#794

Post by gitgud »

colourgarden wrote: post #646
nstart wrote: post #575

From my father: No matter how correct you are, you won't get anywhere by making the other person feel stupid. He gave me this after we went together to a conference on communication and I found the presenter to be making some rather doubtful statements. I asked questions and tried to break the presenter in the QnA session and when I didn't get what I wanted, I left. I was 15 at the time. So, I forgive myself but stil…

It's been a few years since I read it but one of the early topics in How To Win Friends And Influence People is on a similar track to this: You can't make people do something. They have to want to do it (unless you're the big boss ruling through fear). I've found it's much more productive to present information or an argument so that the other party is not made to feel stupid and is willing to accept it.

"A man convinced against his will, Is of the same opinion still"

― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

You can't force people to agree with you by making them feel stupid, they'll resent you.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#795

Post by fredsir »

kgin wrote: post #785
fredsir wrote: post #768

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not saying everyone is the same as Elon, except for the money. I'm saying his inherited wealth, and being at the right place at the right time, and so on, has probably more to do with Elons success than anything else, so let's stop worshipping the guy, and everyone else like him. Our society favours the few, and that's not something we should celebrate. > "I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolut…

I guess it's depends on the goal. If you're looking for people to celebrate, I agree with you. If you're looking for people to learn from, then I think there's a case to look at people who achieved more than others who started with similar circumstances.

> If you're looking for people to learn from, then I think there's a case to look at people who achieved more than others who started with similar circumstances.

Very good point! Which just illustrates why those people like Elon, Bill Gates, and whoever else celebrity there is, is not someone to look up to, except if you were born rich, which most people aren't. Also the worshipping, like what we do with celebs, is just never a good thing. One can try to learn from someone without worshipping them.

The history books about Elon, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and so on, all demonstrates how they are sociopathic scum, that also achieved great things. The big question is if they achieved it because of being those things or despite of it, and I'm inclined to think it's despite of it. And maybe it's because we learn our "idols" are ruthless sociopaths, that we then go on and tolerate our bosses being it, which just enables others to be sociopaths, which is just a fucking vicious cycle. Instead, if we as a society didn't tolerate such a behaviour, Bill, Steve, Elon, you name it, wouldn't have achieved shit, because they did it using other people, and if no one tolerated such behaviour, they would just be twiddling their thumbs, and someone else with more empathy and solidarity would have gone ahead and done what they did, and we would all be better off.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#796

Post by gfodor »

jyounker wrote: post #790
gfodor wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being born into wealth helps, but it also hurts. If you have something to lose, its harder to take risks. Elon put all of his wealth on the line for SpaceX and almost lost it. Anyone, from him down to the person who scrapes together pennies to start a risky business to make a better life for themselves, deserves respect for taking risks to achieve their dreams.

As somebody who grew up poor, but has many friends who did not, being born to wealth hurts far less often than being born poor.

Where did I claim the opposite? What you state is so beyond obvious I'm not sure the point.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#797

Post by crobertsbmw »

dgb23 wrote: post #604
JackFr wrote: post #461

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was taught that by a sales guy. Never ask a yes/no question. Don't ask "Are you satisfied with your current provider?" rather "What do you like/dislike about your current provider?". The wrong answer to a yes/no question ends the conversation.

In a job I had as a student, I had to sell a product over the phone. My boss told me to ask a couple of obvious leading questions first. The point was to get the customer to say „yes“ a couple of times, before trying to sell the product. I was very ineffective and got fired after a week.

I read a book recently suggesting the opposite. That it's much more effective to get them to say No right out of the gate. People feel like they are in control when they say "No."

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#798

Post by longnguyen »

lootsauce wrote: post #238

My opinions are not mine and they are holding me back. Give multiple and opposing views equal respect and disdain at the same time. Treating a thought as your own, as an opinion "you hold" greatly holds you back from a great deal of valuable perspective. Of course you surely hold some world-view and gauge things from that position but try to cultivate more of these positions as if you were someone else. Don't get you…

I learned this a few years ago. The phrase I still remember is "your idea is not your identity" (probably from this article[1]). This completely changed my mindset and the way I communicate.

Not sure where I've read this about originality, but the idea is "there is no such thing as original thought, only original perspective"

[1]: http://lanceschaubert.org/2017/02/22/my-idea-not-my-identity...

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#799

Post by Pamar »

renjimen wrote: post #720
Pamar wrote: post #711

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am doing this, YMMV: I started drawing exactly 1 quick sketch (mostly human figures, taken from https://line-of-action.com/ ) a day. EVERY DAY. After 30-40 days of this I started putting the results on Instagram. I had an Instagram account for maybe five years, only to follow friends there, never posted on it. I kept drawing and publishing at least one piece a day, every day, from April to December. In some cases (…

Would you mind sharing your Instagram? I'd love to see your progress - I'm sure it would be inspiring for others to follow your lead (even if you're not quite Picasso yet)

Of course! I did not put it in the original comment because I didn't want to make my message look like "clickbait" - here it is: https://www.instagram.com/pamar/

And here is my webpage on the process (I want to add more about how I draw, including some technical tips): http://pa-mar.net/Hobbies/Drawing.html

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