Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#361

Post by daniel-thompson » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:00 AM UTC

Actor-observer asymmetry. Briefly, it's the idea that when we observe others, we're more likely to attribute their behavior to the nature of their personality than to their circumstances or situation, and that we do the opposite when judging our own behavior.

Example: You drive your car faster than the speed limit. You're probably doing it because you feel like you have a reasonable need (you're late for something, etc), not because you just inherently like to be a jerk and drive too fast everywhere.

On the other hand, if you see someone else speeding, you're more likely to think they're doing it because they're just an unsafe asshole, and less likely to think they're doing it for a legitimate reason.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actor%E2%80%93observer_asymmet...

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#362

Post by rantwasp » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:00 AM UTC

arunbahl wrote: post #356

Everything is temporary. This is a central tenet in a variety of approaches and philosophies, from religions (it's one of the Marks of Existence in Buddhism) to cognitive behavioral therapy — but few ideas have changed my thinking, resilience, self-control, and happiness as much as this one.

well said. in the end nothing lasts and yet impermanence is one of those things that always seem to catch us by surprise

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#363

Post by ken » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:02 AM UTC

aazaa wrote: post #193

Favor interrogative-led questions over leading questions. A leading question attempts to get the listener to agree or disagree with a premise you feed to them. An interrogative-led question often begins with the words: who; where; what; when; why. Imagine the responses to these two questions: - "Did you like the movie?" (Leading) - "What did you think about the movie?" (Interrogative-led) How do each of these questio…

I hear suggestions like this occasionally, and I don't get it. Apparently sentences like "Did you like the movie?", which sound to me like perfectly neutral questions, actually have a slant.

Which way is this question leading me to answer? How can I tell? "Yes" and "No" seem equally acceptable answers here. I don't see how either one would "displease the asker", without knowing more about the situation.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#364

Post by toufka » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:02 AM UTC

Waterluvian wrote: post #299

A decade of success against steep odds later, I ran into the high school teacher who I idolized and who helped me actually achieve something. Most teachers tolerated me or insulated the rest of the classroom from me. But he put in the effort to get me engaged with something that got me to sit down and try. I was excited to show him what his work had helped me accomplish. He had two things to share with me: 1. He does…

But it's also much more than that - he's not just a guy, he's one of just a few guys that put in the effort to do their job well and honestly. And that positive daily effort had profound effects on the lives of people he cared about. (And conversely, those that did not put in that effort did not create profound and positive wakes).

And that idea can be paid forward. There are plenty of times one doesn't get to go back and thank their mentors and those that inspired them. But that practiced and daily support of others really can lead to outsized positive effects - that we might not ever hear about.

And if you step forward with the idea - the more people that work to support others in their daily routine, even without obvious immediate benefit, the more those wakes can become entire waves that lift everyone upwards.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#365

Post by v64 » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:03 AM UTC

pcarolan wrote: post #320

teraflop wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something." -- Jake the Dog

"The secret to making great barbeque is to make a lot of bad barbeque" ~ Aaron Franklin

To be fair, even Aaron Franklin's bad barbeque is some of the best BBQ you'll ever have.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#366

Post by v64 » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:06 AM UTC

paulcole wrote: post #340

endymi0n wrote: post #150

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…

> All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste Like saying “How bout them Cowboys” at a club in Dallas. Everybody wants to think they have good taste and everybody wants to be told they have good taste. Of all the people who read that quote and nod along thinking, “yes this is me” how many are actually right?

> Of all the people who read that quote and nod along thinking, “yes this is me” how many are actually right?

Those who actually fight their way through their creative difficulties as the quote suggests, as opposed to those who read the quote and think "yup, no one recognizes my good taste, screw em".

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#367

Post by khazhoux » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:06 AM UTC

paulcole wrote: post #340

endymi0n wrote: post #150

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…

> All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste Like saying “How bout them Cowboys” at a club in Dallas. Everybody wants to think they have good taste and everybody wants to be told they have good taste. Of all the people who read that quote and nod along thinking, “yes this is me” how many are actually right?

I don't think you should be downvoted, because you speak truth. The comment/quote is factually wrong: not everyone who gets into creative work has "good taste", nor is Ira Glass correct that you just need to plow through it. Go peruse an end-of-senior-year art exhibit or dance recital at your local college. Bless 'em, they worked hard and gave it their best, but usually the raw creativity and talent isn't there.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#368

Post by downerending » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:07 AM UTC

dnautics wrote: post #216

downerending wrote: post #67

If your friends--or especially your SO--don't have your back, it's time to move your back. You deserve to have at least one person in your life that is always on your side. Especially for an SO, if they can't do that, get rid of them. Far better to be alone.

Forget your friends. You want a BOSS that has your back. If your boss doesn't have your back, it's time to move jobs.

Yeah, that's very, very true. Spent way too much of my career not knowing that.

Once had a real bastard of a boss, back in the early days of the web. I put together a prototype web site, carefully describing it as such and as never even tested with multiple users. Without telling me, he put together a demonstration that involved 20 big-wigs hitting it at the same time. Without doubt he was hoping for a major failure. Was too dumb to see that coming.

Take it from me: One whiff that your boss doesn't care for you? GTFO--immediately.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#369

Post by mistermann » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:08 AM UTC

seanwilson wrote: post #278

mistermann wrote: post #32

We don't live in reality, or even "see" it directly. The reality that we live in is firstly based on perception of actual physical reality, and then also experienced/conceptualized via a proxy , which is a model of our perceived reality (and all the objects, people, and ideas within it), all implemented by a sophisticated biological neural network of sorts. An example of how you can test this theory is to observe con…

> Even more interestingly, these "beliefs" seem to be entrenched extremely deeply in the human psyche, and almost "protected" in some way, by some sort of process. My explanation for this is the brain has lots of mental shortcuts that help it make useful quick decisions when lacking complete information (like in survival situations), but these shortcuts break down in the modern world E.g. "everyone else is doing it s…

Sure, these are simply heuristics..."rules of thumb" approximations, there are brazillions of them. I doubt there are many people here who aren't fairly familiar with the abstract concept.

What I mean by the "protected" part is that even when talking to someone who is familiar with the abstract concept, who will readily acknowledge the existence of heuristics and inherent fallibility, even within themselves (while discussing the topic in the abstract that is), but when the topic is something else (a concrete topic like politics for example), and heuristics clearly assert themselves in the conversation, people will get "agitated" if the topic of heuristics is brought up.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#370

Post by gdulli » Thu, May 07, 2020, 1:09 AM UTC

abetusk wrote: post #137

"Premature optimization is the root of all evil" More and more, I'm realizing this applies more broadly than just for code. Abstraction is a form of optimization and shouldn't be done before the space has been properly explored to know what abstractions should be built. Standardization is a form of optimization and shouldn't be proposed until there's a body of evidence to support what's being standardized. Failure to…

"The difference between over-engineering and under-engineering is that you can fix under-engineering."