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Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

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251–260 of 839 posts

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#251

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…

Five beats a day for three summers - Kanye West

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#252

Intermittent fasting. These days I only have one meal a day

How has it affected you? Are you doing it for weight loss, or for other reasons? I had a month off work recently (unrelated to the pandemic), which I spent learning programming. During this time I never ate lunch, only a small breakfast and a normal supper. But now that I'm back at work and I'm on my feet all day, I have to eat, otherwise I get super hungry, lightheaded and generally lethargic. But I've discovered th…

I decided to do it to get healthier. There is overwhelming scientific evidence that fasting for long periods is good for you and that living by on 1200 cal per day increases your lifespan by 5 to 10 years.

I lost a lot of weight, feel much better, and save money and time every day now.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#253

"Nothing is ever personal." The way people treat you, has nothing to do with you. They are just living out their own stories. Related idea: "You train others how to treat you." Think reinforcement learning as applied to training a dog. (And I love dogs, have the deepest respect for them). The concept isn't that different when applied to our social interactions.

For me, it was important to learn the converse, that other people will interpret my behavior in a situation as being about them. I have social anxiety and other issues that tend to create a strong undercurrent of aversion and discomfort in me in any social interaction. I realize now that a lot of people think I don't like them because when they talk to me they can read in my face that on a deep level I would rather not be interacting with them. I do my best to communicate enjoyment and interest, but in the context of evident discomfort, it can come off as fake. The onus is on me to minimize (ideally) or hide (when necessary) my social discomfort so people don't think I'm faking my appreciation of them.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#254
Money really does buy happiness.

To a point, anyways. Vacations, homes in safe neighborhoods, the best schools for your kids, drugs, hookers, technology gadgets, early retirement, just about anything is more accessible if you are wealthy.

The day I realized this was a disappointing day.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#255

"Nothing is ever personal." The way people treat you, has nothing to do with you. They are just living out their own stories. Related idea: "You train others how to treat you." Think reinforcement learning as applied to training a dog. (And I love dogs, have the deepest respect for them). The concept isn't that different when applied to our social interactions.

True for about 90% to 95% of interactions but the reason I still find this idea very problematic as it is easily used an excuse by all sorts of sociopaths, narcissists and power addicts that their behavior is somehow ok because it's either "not about you", or it's your fault in the first place because "you asked for it".

Let me tell you, for these people, it absolutely is about you and it is personal. And the more you try to ignore it or brush it off or search the fault within yourself, the more they will see it as confirmation of their own behavior.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#256

This might be super basic, but... assume positive intent. Your parent is not your enemy. Your teacher is not your enemy. Your boss is not your enemy. The other team at work is not your enemy. The corporation is not your enemy. The other political party is not your enemy. Or, more accurately, YOU are not THEIR enemy. At best, you're an NPC in their game. Many of them probably even want to help you, because you are ano…

Most of us (non-sociopaths) don't get to choose our enemies though. They choose us.

Honestly, I think the majority of us don't have any enemies at all. We might imagine we do, though.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#257

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…

The quote appears in many variants -- here's one as an interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2wLP0izeJE .

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#258
post #7

"Always deliver superlative value, and your customers will take care of you." Changed everything.

As a follow on - my grandpa often said to "give each customer the best you have at that moment." Selling goods or giving attention, if every customer gets the best you have none will have reason to feel bad towards you.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#259

This might be super basic, but... assume positive intent. Your parent is not your enemy. Your teacher is not your enemy. Your boss is not your enemy. The other team at work is not your enemy. The corporation is not your enemy. The other political party is not your enemy. Or, more accurately, YOU are not THEIR enemy. At best, you're an NPC in their game. Many of them probably even want to help you, because you are ano…

Assume good intent until proven otherwise . Because there are plenty of people who'll repeatedly treat you like shit, and then continue to demand you assume good intent. To which I say, pardon my french, fuck that noise. People are entitled to the benefit of doubt only as long as there can be doubt. Once that is gone, act accordingly.

This is so true.

Ditch the toxic people in your life.

Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life

#260

The Central Limit Theorem. It's hard to explain the precise way in which an understanding of the central limit theorem has changed my life. However, knowing how any random distribution sums up to a Gaussian has subtly changed how I perceive and comprehend the world around me. Over time, this has added to a significant number of choices and decisions that I've subconsciously made, informed only by rough estimates of a…

Can you give an example of when this has informed a decision and how?
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