That you are the average of your five closest friends. In other words, if you would like to achieve or become something, surround yourself with people who are also focused on (or have already achieved) that goal.
Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
61–70 of 839 posts
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#62Reading about alchemy, especially the concept of transmutation, has inspired my life in numerous ways. I would also suggest reading The Kybalion which, if I recall correctly, is about Gnosticism more than alchemy? Anyway, it has some great general concepts to open up your imagination, plus the prose is beautiful.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#63"Nothing is ever personal." The way people treat you, has nothing to do with you. They are just living out their own stories. Related idea: "You train others how to treat you." Think reinforcement learning as applied to training a dog. (And I love dogs, have the deepest respect for them). The concept isn't that different when applied to our social interactions.
You'd be surprised how hard it is to internalize the first principle. The mind can become very attached to the feeling of being attacked / rejected / overlooked / snubbed / etc.
...And with abuse patterns a lot of us had that ingrained at a super young age as a control lever our parents/guardians installed.
I think a hard part of this is that people commonly abuse these mechanisms for control in social structures. I grew up with it, I experienced it in school, I've experienced it in relationships, and I've experienced it professionally.
In so many ways it's human social nature to subvert each other and I think that's why so many of us get attached to those concepts. It's really hard to not get bitter and still let the good in =(
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#64“Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.”
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#65"Nothing is ever personal." The way people treat you, has nothing to do with you. They are just living out their own stories. Related idea: "You train others how to treat you." Think reinforcement learning as applied to training a dog. (And I love dogs, have the deepest respect for them). The concept isn't that different when applied to our social interactions.
Can you point to some source/material that elaborate on this ? Would like to read more about it.
The evolutionary biologist Diana Fleischman is currently writing a book (a bit tongue-in-cheek) called "How To Train Your Boyfriend". She's discussed the ideas in a few talks and podcasts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jre_xN2HSrk
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#66Nick Cave, on writer's block: "My advice to you is to change your basic relationship to songwriting. You are not the ‘Great Creator’ of your songs, you are simply their servant, and the songs will come to you when you have adequately prepared yourself to receive them. They are not inside you, unable to get out; rather, they are outside of you, unable to get in." https://www.theredhandfiles.com/do-u-have-any-spare-lyr…
That's interesting considering it sounds to me that he approaches songwriting like work rather than something he has a lack of control over: "He gets up early, goes to work in his office (a flat connected to his house in Hove), does an honest day’s work, returns home in the evening to his wife and kids, and starts out again the next day."[1] [1] https://www.theguardian.com/music/2008/feb/23/popandrock.fea...
I don't see any conflict, personally.
In the linked article, he goes on to say that songs "are attracted to an open, playful and motivated mind". To cultivate that, you need to show up.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#67If your friends--or especially your SO--don't have your back, it's time to move your back.
You deserve to have at least one person in your life that is always on your side. Especially for an SO, if they can't do that, get rid of them. Far better to be alone.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#68“Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.”
That's a depressing thought.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#69Passive income. Or recognizing at least the goal of increasing your income/time ratio.
out of curiosity do you apply this into expenditures too? ie spending time when it's expensive or spending money when its time intensive?
Classic examples could be learning to do automotive work to save money and hiring out cleaning services to save time. (please ignore the specifics, but understand the concept).
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#70Differentiation of Self