Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

secondbreakfast.co

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

131–140 of 217 posts

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#131

Post by aurbano »

wegs wrote: post #90
fs111 wrote: post #35

It is not important to work hard, it is important to be happy. Stop glorifying the act of working, please.

To me, a lifelong search for happiness seems flawed and ephemeral. It's culturally very American, but doesn't seem to lead to happiness. I strive for purpose, meaning, and positive impact. When I succeed, I'm happy. That drives how I pick my job and how I run my family life. The Frankl book "Man's Search for Meaning" makes a good case for this as a life goal. I'm not going to my categorical statements like yours. But…

Maybe it's just the wording we use, but when you say "But in my life philosophy, it's not so much important to be happy, as to be a good person and to have a fulfilling life."

Doesn't that mean that being a good person and having a fulfilling life is what makes _you_ happy?

This is something I think a lot about, and I know this is a philosophical topic that has been around for ever, but how do we call the state in which we're "ok" with our life? In your case the mental state when you believe that you're being a good person and having a fulfilling life? Is that happiness? Or is happiness a by-product of that state?

I believe this is what Aristotle called achieving virtue, maybe, it's been a while since I studied philosophy...

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#132

Post by hdni »

4ist wrote: post #93
wegs wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me, a lifelong search for happiness seems flawed and ephemeral. It's culturally very American, but doesn't seem to lead to happiness. I strive for purpose, meaning, and positive impact. When I succeed, I'm happy. That drives how I pick my job and how I run my family life. The Frankl book "Man's Search for Meaning" makes a good case for this as a life goal. I'm not going to my categorical statements like yours. But…

This is something I was thinking about lately. I think having the goal of being "not-unhappy" is more personally viable than aiming at happiness. In the past when I was seeking happiness I would just smoke weed and play videogames all day, which felt good at the time but the day after I would feel like trash because I wasted so much time/energy and typically ate straight garbage.

Anna Karenina principle: happiness is the absence of all the things in the set of things that make you unhappy

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#133

Post by azhu »

People are all driven by something, and it is not being gritty for the sake of gritting. Figure out what it is and you can hack yourself into whatever you want just by pushing this "get up and get it done" motivational button. Find reasons why whatever goal fits with your deeper purpose and motivation will be by definition.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#134

Post by yboris »

I've been more skeptical of Grit after reading this:

A Skeptical Look at the Latest Educational Fad By Alfie Kohn

https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/grit/

The gist of the argument is that grit may not be what we ought to aspire to sometimes. The justification for grit is circular. Why focus on just 1 thing as oppose to have several interests and activities?

The author approaches the topic from perspective of raising children / education. It looks like grit is about forcing compliance with shitty curriculum in schools.

Lots more good stuff in the article I linked to.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#135

Post by soneca »

ardit33 wrote: post #8

It is impossible to be really good at everything.... when I optimized for work, my fitness goals went through the window. When I optimized to get a project done, my reading (books) went down as well. When I optimized for fitness (working out and soccer), my work and side projects started progressing slower. It is very hard to work on your project at home, when you are in a intense bulking, or 'cutting' phase, and onc…

I think similarly. I have this heuristics that my life priorities occupy a decreasing amount of my attention, cutting in half by each priority level.

I consider personal life, like time to family, friends, out of this system. I am including here things that I must focus on doing properly to improve myself and my life in a number of dimensions.

Goes like this, priority #1 gets 50% of your attention, #2 gets 25%, #3 gets 12.5%, #4 6.25, #5 ~3% (which in practice, rounds down to zero most of times, so for #5 and beyond I effectively equal to 0%).

I define "attention" as a loose mix of your time and your mind space.

So if you have a day job, kind of by definition it's your #1 priority. No matter how much you hate it, consider unimportant, or think you are neglecting it, you are still 8 hours of your day doing that, so it's your #1 attention priority. It has 50% of your attention.

My current #2 is my side-project that I hope to earn enough money to become my day-job and #1. Freeing space for other things I want to do (coincidentally enough, also reading books and playing soccer)

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#136

Post by soneca »

cambalache wrote: post #80
mikekchar wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a "rule of 3". You can be quite good at 3 things (give or take). One of them will probably be your job. One will probably be your relationships. You have time for 1 more. If you keep changing your mind about what that last one will be, then you will only be good at 2 things. There are ways to be good at only 1 thing as well.... or even 0...

A "thing" is just such a vague and general concept that is useless. If either your job or your relationships can be reduced to only mastering 1 thing I really envy you. If you say I am being unfair and of course it involves many sub-tasks , so why dont just choose to be good at life? So you can concentrate in just one thing and still have 2 other "things" to spare. Now, less snarky and more serious, in any activity o…

Didn't Einstein had a day job at a patent office while developing the Theory of Relativity?

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#137

Post by cloverich »

talliedthoughts wrote: post #19
irjustin wrote: post #7

I disagree with the author's premise that you have "grit" only when it can be applied in any direction. To me, "grit" requires adversity instead of simply overall breadth. It's quite easy for us humans to do something if everything is going well. What about when it's not going well? Do we have enough to persevere through all times, including hard ones? Your startup is failing? Your research is yielding no fruit? You…

That definition would push people into local maximums, always continuing the grind towards the initial goal instead of stepping back and reassessing if the goal still makes sense. There has to be a balance between these actions.

Persevering through adversity doesn't mean ignore opportunity. It means when the most obvious desirable outcome is blocked by challenges hard or unforeseen, don't simply give up. It applies in many situations but its not a panacea.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#138

Post by unreal37 »

mardifoufs wrote: post #127
koheripbal wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

...and that's why he also said on Monday: "If you took someone and asked them, without them knowing whether they'd be born boy or girl, black or white, with or without any relevant talent, or to rich or poor parents, and asked them when and where they'd like to be born. They'd answer, 'The US, in modern times'. There is no place on Earth, and no time in history, that a person can make the most of their talents, as to…

I see how it could sound weird to the eyes of an American, but the only place where I think his statement would be incorrect is Western Europe. A part from that I'm confident that a majority of people around the world would very much like to either have been born in the US or give their children the opportunity to live there. At least where I'm originally from, emigration to the US is seen as an an incredibly desirab…

I don't think there is as much business opportunity in Western Europe due to taxes and regulations.

This is why the US has given birth to the majority of big businesses in the world in the last 20 years. A lot of startups that started elsewhere, moved to the US to continue their growth.

Europe might have some quality of life elements such as health care, vacation time, and regulations to protect citizens and workers... but being able to start a business in the US is what Warren Buffett refers to as opportunity.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#139

Post by ric2b »

unreal37 wrote: post #138
mardifoufs wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see how it could sound weird to the eyes of an American, but the only place where I think his statement would be incorrect is Western Europe. A part from that I'm confident that a majority of people around the world would very much like to either have been born in the US or give their children the opportunity to live there. At least where I'm originally from, emigration to the US is seen as an an incredibly desirab…

I don't think there is as much business opportunity in Western Europe due to taxes and regulations. This is why the US has given birth to the majority of big businesses in the world in the last 20 years. A lot of startups that started elsewhere, moved to the US to continue their growth. Europe might have some quality of life elements such as health care, vacation time, and regulations to protect citizens and workers.…

But in his thought experiment what you're trying to avoid is being massively disadvantaged by where you were born.

If you're born in Scandinavia you'll have very good education and healthcare no matter what family you're born into. Maybe starting a business is harder, so what? You can move to the US later in life if that's your goal, you'll still be better off by having no student debt.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#140

Post by klodolph »

mikekchar wrote: post #41
ardit33 wrote: post #8

It is impossible to be really good at everything.... when I optimized for work, my fitness goals went through the window. When I optimized to get a project done, my reading (books) went down as well. When I optimized for fitness (working out and soccer), my work and side projects started progressing slower. It is very hard to work on your project at home, when you are in a intense bulking, or 'cutting' phase, and onc…

I have a "rule of 3". You can be quite good at 3 things (give or take). One of them will probably be your job. One will probably be your relationships. You have time for 1 more. If you keep changing your mind about what that last one will be, then you will only be good at 2 things. There are ways to be good at only 1 thing as well.... or even 0...

I don’t quite agree with this. It depends on how often you change your mind about the third field, and what your standard for “quite good” is. If you put a few years of effort into a field and get to a high level of competence and productivity, that skill may stick with you for a long time, even if you fall out of practice.

For example, let’s say that you play piano, and you push yourself to a new level of skill and learn a few more advanced pieces. The decay rate for that skill is quite long, and with a very minimal level of work you can keep those pieces fresh for years or decades.

Post reply on HN