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Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

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Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#31

Post by mmm_grayons »

happytoexplain wrote: post #24
sho wrote: post #19

At the risk of sounding insensitive - I don't understand what this is. I know what a dead man's switch is, of course - maybe an app that emails your next in kin your email password or cryptocurrency private key if you haven't checked in for a few months. But what would this do? SMS the hospital/police if it's been 24 hours since you played hangman? What is an actual example of intended use? I know it's probably not t…

This is a classic fallacy in regards to abusive relationships. Something along the lines of "just leave the relationship", or, "just press charges for past abuses before the next one comes and have him taken away".

I've heard this before, but am not sure to what it refers. What is this fallacy? I always figured people could just get a restraining order or a concealed carry license if needed. Do the situations of abuse commonly preclude this?

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#32

Post by Der_Einzige »

deif wrote: post #6
woliveirajr wrote: post #3

Seems a nice option but as it happens with any other security-through-obscurity it made me wonder if the abuser reaction wouldn't be a bit harsh if it is discovered. Wouldn't it be better if the functionality is not just hidden but also includes plausible deniability? Like creating one hidden screen that is accessed when you try to guess the word using just one specific setupable word, and showing another fake / usel…

For sure, but any app store listing would give that away so that kind of obscurity only gets you so far. Apple are extremely restrictive on how you present your apps, so it will always be obvious what the app is from the listing (which is why I specifically had to use hang man, as the name of the app has to match the general functionality). I couldn't even release a separate app with the same functionality but comple…

Can we start to accuse apple of being complacent in domestic abuse then? I'm only mostly joking

Apple products are used at a far higher proportion among women (and the vast majority of domestic abuse victims are women) than Android products are and the locked down nature of the platform means that attempts to fight this with innovative apps masquerading as other apps (as the author has indicated that they want to do) breaks their TOS and is banned by the platform.

Feminists need to start sounding the alarm right now and pushing women towards open platforms which give them a chance to fight against their abusers.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#34

Post by nitrogen »

mmm_grayons wrote: post #31
happytoexplain wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a classic fallacy in regards to abusive relationships. Something along the lines of "just leave the relationship", or, "just press charges for past abuses before the next one comes and have him taken away".

I've heard this before, but am not sure to what it refers. What is this fallacy? I always figured people could just get a restraining order or a concealed carry license if needed. Do the situations of abuse commonly preclude this?

Abuse can come with gaslighting and control of communication, so the abused may not trust that the alternative is better, or have the ability to get help quickly enough and permanently enough to avoid retaliation.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#35

Post by __s »

ggambetta wrote: post #33

Maybe the words "dead man" in the name of a service about domestic abuse is not such a great idea :( It's a well known technical term for us, but probably not so much for the general public, so this could be easily misinterpreted.

Anyone who's used a lawn mower should know what it is

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#36

Post by nitrogen »

cassiet wrote: post #11
mnw21cam wrote: post #2

"We're sorry but dead man tracker doesn't work properly without JavaScript enabled. Please enable it to continue." Yeah fine, but perhaps some explanation of what I would be seeing if I did that would be appreciated. If you want me to enable Javascript, you should at least tell me what you're going to do with that. If you make a web site with functionality that requires Javascript, and there's no other way, that's fi…

This isn’t mine, but the number of my users with js turned off isn’t worth the effort. You guys make a lot of noise, but not a lot of traffic.

Your analytics are probably blocked by anyone who has JS off so your traffic numbers are skewed.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#37

Post by seanc »

mmm_grayons wrote: post #31
happytoexplain wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a classic fallacy in regards to abusive relationships. Something along the lines of "just leave the relationship", or, "just press charges for past abuses before the next one comes and have him taken away".

I've heard this before, but am not sure to what it refers. What is this fallacy? I always figured people could just get a restraining order or a concealed carry license if needed. Do the situations of abuse commonly preclude this?

Yes, very much so. Abusers arrange for various forms of leverage over the people, ranging from emotional to financial, and then children or other dependents make everything that much more complex.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#38

Post by ntucker »

__s wrote: post #35
ggambetta wrote: post #33

Maybe the words "dead man" in the name of a service about domestic abuse is not such a great idea :( It's a well known technical term for us, but probably not so much for the general public, so this could be easily misinterpreted.

Anyone who's used a lawn mower should know what it is

I think anyone who's used a lawnmower knows the concept but not necessarily the name.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#39

Post by mehdix »

cassiet wrote: post #11
mnw21cam wrote: post #2

"We're sorry but dead man tracker doesn't work properly without JavaScript enabled. Please enable it to continue." Yeah fine, but perhaps some explanation of what I would be seeing if I did that would be appreciated. If you want me to enable Javascript, you should at least tell me what you're going to do with that. If you make a web site with functionality that requires Javascript, and there's no other way, that's fi…

This isn’t mine, but the number of my users with js turned off isn’t worth the effort. You guys make a lot of noise, but not a lot of traffic.

This is not only about people who disable js, but also about people with disabilities who would benefit from accessibility features on your app. With this arguement, we should also ignore them, since they might not be the ones making the most traffic i.e. revenue for us. There is also the increasing number of users who disable trackes out of privacy concerns. At lease most of the marketing guys I've seen still assume what trackers show is all there is.

Re: Show HN: Discreet dead man's switch for victims of domestic abuse

#40

Post by Spooky23 »

mmm_grayons wrote: post #31
happytoexplain wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a classic fallacy in regards to abusive relationships. Something along the lines of "just leave the relationship", or, "just press charges for past abuses before the next one comes and have him taken away".

I've heard this before, but am not sure to what it refers. What is this fallacy? I always figured people could just get a restraining order or a concealed carry license if needed. Do the situations of abuse commonly preclude this?

Abusers are like an exponentially worse than a typical asshole. They have no shame and will do anything to get their way. They are highly manipulative, but at more controlling and intimate level. They get into the head of their victims to control them with guilt, shame, "love", affection, blackmail, isolation, access to children, etc and reinforce that control with physical abuse.

The manipulation makes it difficult for the victim to act. Family suspects the victim is a little unglued, Friendships are disrupted early on, etc.

Read about this guy as an extreme example: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Raniere

This guy was a self-help guru type who leveraged guilt and blackmail to literally build a company around having a harem of sex slaves.

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