I get the frustration. I really do and I apologize for any bump like this. I'm the founder of those old textdrive "share hosting" servers (they really have nothing to do with Joyent's current product line). These servers are ~6 years old and they're largely populated by "lifetime" customers who have tricked out various bits of their accounts enough that an automated migration has been basically impossible. We've been…
A 6 year old server would have a max RAM capacity of say 32GB, you can get a newish 64GB RAM system for what, $3k or so?
In such a case, migration is basically a few shell scripts plus rsync from old hardware to new VM. You rsync a couple of times until the rsync takes very little time, then turn off services; do a final rsync; turn on services on the new VM, swap IP addresses and test.
You can even run FreeBSD/Xen on top of Solaris XVM, right?