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Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

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Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#41

Post by jerome-jh »

I am trying to remain rational, maybe over-rational. My age group has a low risk, my children almost no risks. Mostly elderly people die, which is sad, but they have lived. There are 4000 cases in my country which is still a pretty low chance of encountering one ... especially since we are almost quarantined. If we follow South Korea methods, we should see the same effects in 2 to 3 weeks.

Second thing is that it has nothing to see with the crises of the XX century, and probably much less serious than what is going to happen towards and after 2050 (huge number of people fleeing their unlivable lands).

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#42

Post by lordnacho »

Call your friends and family and make sure they're ok. Talking to others helps you both be less anxious.

Also, see yourself as an observer of the times, not so much an actor. Don't worry about powerlessness, just be glad you can see how things are going.

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#45

Post by rl3 »

My reaction to the news is largely disappointment. This didn't have to happen the way it did.

I'm a bit uneasy and quite pessimistic about the whole thing. The possibility it's going to get bad beyond what anyone can currently imagine isn't zero. One month ago we wouldn't have imagined where we are today.

That said, the majority of my life up until now has consisted of considerable real life social isolation, so the social distancing as of late is basically business as usual.

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#46

Post by matwood »

Exercise every day. Get some sleep. Work, particularly if there are some tedious type tasks that you can plow through without thinking too much. Keep perspective. Yes, this is absolutely a rough period, but in time it will pass.

I also play 'worst case scenario' with myself. My wife and I are relatively young, so the odds of us being seriously impacted health-wise are very low. But, worst case would be my wife and/or my parents die. Next level terrible, but it's also a reminder to be talking and present with them every day. It's not making light of it, but accepting this is a worst case from a health stand point.

From an economic standpoint, my company could be forced to close. I could be forced to eventually use all my savings, sell my house, etc... Would that suck? Absolutely. Is it the end of the world? Nah, and it's infinitely better than something happening to the people around me. I started with very little, and would just start again.

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#47

Post by jordanpg »

zabana wrote: post #3

I simply don't watch, listen or expose myself to any type of news (except HN). I've essentially blocked every single mainstream news outlet (TV, Press, Radio) on twitter, I'm not on facebook so I would suggest you suspend your account if you have one (but keep messenger if you use it), don't be tempted to google anything related to that "toilet paper virus". This has two main benefits IMO: 1. you short circuit the ma…

> craving for a catastrophic scenario like that to unfold so they can feel part of something greater than themselves

This reminds me of a recent piece in the NYT about despair[1]. I thought that a discussion of meaning was conspicuously absent. I think that religion and civic life has so utterly failed to provide any substantive meaning of life for most people in a manifestly secular world, that is isn't the least bit surprising to me that a growing number of people are experiencing existential despair.

A genuine catastrophic scenario can easily be seen as a source of richness, excitement, and meaning that many deeply crave, even if they don't realize it consciously. We humans are starved for such meaning.

[1] http://archive.ph/Qhjyn

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#48

Post by _y5hn »

You've recognized your anxiety, so congrats on being conscious about it. Think of it as the first step of a solution.

Unfortunately, what's happening in the world is out of our control. We need info and we need to share good info, but don't constipate on bad news. Recognize that fear in the past, often was about nothing, or it's worse to think about it. Learn to not give a F.

You have some control, how you react (not how you feel), and getting into some work or play will relieve the stress. We need to move our bodies, sing and dance if you can, however best you can release your energy. Build from there.

Some things we can change, other things we can't. Use this time to reconnect with yourself, investigate stuff that interests you, let the bad news fly by as pure informational data and realize you are in your own cockpit. A good distraction is focusing on someone else and what they need.

Good luck! There will be bad feelings, but the worst of them is just thinking too much. Let the feelings come if they need to, just don't indulge in fear or paranoia, and accept that negative reactions will come up.

Slow, deep breaths into stomach. Relax.

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#49

Post by dougmwne »

For me, maybe a bit paradoxically, recognizing the seriousness of the situation helps. This is a big event that has already forced change in my life.

We had to cancel a vacation, could not see our families, cannot go home, took a big financial hit, had to cut many of our hobbies and will not get to see a good friend get married. It's ok if I feel worried, stressed, angry or sad about it. But hope springs eternal and this too shall pass.

Re: Ask HN: How are you coping with all the (mostly bad) news around you?

#50

Post by Zhyl »

Humour. We Brits have a fairly dark gallows humour anyway and we also genuinely have a cultural sense of 'grin and bear it', 'stiff upper lip', 'keep calm and carry on' also called 'blitz spirit'.

Today, after the UK generally and my office specifically required working from home, I made subtle references to this sketch [1] from TV show 'That Mitchell and Webb Look'. I make standups light and breezy; I add a lighter tone to emails.

The important thing for me is not to undermine the seriousness of the situation that we're in - in many ways I'd like to emphasise it and embolden it. On the other hand, I want to reduce the mental strain on people and to keep spirits high. High spirits, high productivity and everyone feels like they're being included and that everything is being taken care of.

Now is the time for managers to shine. We have the responsibilities of looking after our people, especially in a profession such as software engineering which could potentially be isolating and intimidating.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnd1jKcfBRE

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