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Tips for the depressed

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Re: Tips for the depressed

#161
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As s as formerly depressed person I can attest that this is the only thing that worked. DO stuff. Even if you feel you can’t, even if it feels hopeless. Do it anyway. Somehow through the act of forcing yourself you find you’re actually enjoying yourself, are making progress and feeling better . Saying this is also the quickest way to get shunned out of the room by anyone with depression. Fun fact: research has shown…

> As s as formerly depressed person I can attest that this is the only thing that worked. DO stuff. Even if you feel you can’t, even if it feels hopeless. Do it anyway. > Somehow through the act of forcing yourself you find you’re actually enjoying yourself, are making progress and feeling better. I tried this approach. The "you find you're actually enjoying yourself" part never came. It left me profoundly exhausted,…

Well if it's any help, here's my two cents: to rewire your gratification circuits you need a lot of time and effort to alter your brains to accept some new ideas or behaviors. Took me a long time to get used to going to gym. Now it's like second nature. I know if you are really depressed it might be impossible to do it and other means, eg psychologist and medication, might be more helpful.

But the rewiring of your brain is the most important thing I feel in combating depression and getting somehow your lizard brain engaged in the "normal" things. For some reason I have felt that losing the connection to your primal desires (or the real you) is often the trigger, that will cause your body to tell you "hey, you are doing something wrong - please fix it". I know self-blame is the last thing any depressed person needs, but I think positive action and experiences are definitely key-part in overriding the negative thinking patterns. Things such as social connections, the feeling of belonging to a group and physical exercise.

Yet for certain, if you feel you are pushing yourself too much to me it says that there are deeper problems unsolved under the surface, that should be reworked with maybe a psychotherapist before going on a trip around the world. Or maybe it's a chronic chemical imbalance that just can't be fixed (eg Abraham Lincoln). Who knows.

To me physical exercise was like a magic cure that did feel like a natural depression medicine when you get the feeling of progress. Then other positive things started to build on top of it.

Re: Tips for the depressed

#162
post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The main benefit I've found to making the bed is that it shrinks your subconscious to-do list and helps you concentrate. If you make your bed, clean up the plates on your desk, and pick up your clothes from the floor, then your brain has nowhere to hide -- the only thing left to focus on is the task at hand.

But making my bed & cleaning were never on my todo list to begin with, so it isn't shrinking my subconscious todo list

Well I guess if you never clean or tidy and it doesn't bother you and you're able to remain productive, then what I'm saying doesn't apply.

Re: Tips for the depressed

#163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, doing those small things did seem impossible and even when I managed to achieve it, I didn't feel the reward. There didn't seem any point in making the bed if I felt the same whether the bed was made or not. Eventually I reached a mental place where I could turn that around: If it doesn't make a difference in how I feel, why not make the bed? I had to more or less take it on faith that eventually the rewards…

Speaking of treating yourself as well as you might treat a friend... I found this paper on self-compassion to be very helpful when dealing with self-criticism, guilt and shame: Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/b357/87b9b21486d00458e85f8b... .

As soon as I read "Self-Compassion" I knew it has to be Dr. Kristin Neff; I read her book (https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-kristin-neff/) a couple years ago and it was quite an eye-opener for me.

Just a note: your link is not working; here's a link to the paper, directly form Dr. Neff's homepage: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/...

Re: Tips for the depressed

#164
I suffered from treatment-resistant depression for over ten years. In my case, time definitely did not heal, and psych meds that were tried did not help significantly. Felt like everyone had gotten used to my depression and did not take it seriously. Was convinced that I had "terminal" depression. Until at a low point, when visiting a new doctor (non-psych) for a routine check-up, the doctor who I'd never met before told me that I seemed so low that she wasn't comfortable sending me home alone and sent me to the emergency room. At that point I started intensive therapy, learned DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) skills, and was started on meds that actually did help. I'm now proud and happy to say that I've been largely free of depression for the 5 years since then. Sure there are low times, but coping skills and closely managing meds have helped greatly.

Mostly here to say: If you're depressed to the point where you're seriously thinking about killing yourself, you have a life-threatening illness. IMO, it should be treated as such.

Some of the contents of this article basically amount to DBT skills (i.e. "Get out of bed even if you don't want to") so I recommend looking into those if these types of suggestions sound helpful to you. But suggesting that somebody who is suffering should binge watch TV to wait it out seems unhelpful and counterproductive to me. Take it seriously, and seek help if you need. Things can get better.

Re: Tips for the depressed

#165
The #1 tip for the depressed learnt the hard way: talk to the doctor.

Please. Don't delay. Your brain is playing tricks to you. But it has bad sense of humor. One of the tricks may become the last trick in your life.

Please.

Re: Tips for the depressed

#166
Not mentioned in the article or in the comments thus far, is that massage therapy has an alleviative effect on clinical depression in some people.[1][2]

It's not fully understood why massage (in particular, deep massage) might relieve depression, but it does reduce cortisol and increase general relaxation, countering the stress caused by depression.

Another study suggested that massage therapy can be approximately as effective as pharmaceuticals, but I'm unable to find the reference at the moment.

There's no particular harm to muscular therapy a.k.a. massage, and if you have a good and well trained practitioner, it is very pleasant and relaxing regardless of mental state.

1. Meta study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20361919

2. Women's health (Mass General Hospital): https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/massage-therapy-for-dep...

Re: Tips for the depressed

#167

Things that help me when I feel depressed: - Listening to upbeat, energetic music and avoiding depressing music, which tends to make me feel worse - Walking outside on a clear, sunny day - Eating my favorite food - Playing a good game to get my mind off whatever it is that I'm obsessing about - If I am able to concentrate, reading something by a favorite author, listening to a good podcast, or watching a non-depressi…

When you are actually depressed and not just feel a bit down, those things seem unreachable.

[deleted]

Re: Tips for the depressed

#168
post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't think this is accurate Yes it is accurate. It is very accurate. The garbage studies routinely dumped on us by Big Pharma have been continually debunked, reversed, and retracted after the raw data comes out (often in lawsuits). Nevermind the complete absence of long-term studies or any studies that reflect the actually usage of these drugs in the real world.

> We identified 28 552 citations and of these included 522 trials comprising 116 477 participants. In terms of efficacy, all antidepressants were more effective than placebo. https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6... I dunno, studies seem to suggest otherwise. I think it's terribly irresponsible to be telling people not to take medications that can help them.

You don't know. My brother is a doctor who writes papers on meta-analysis. The Cipriani paper is trash. The actual effect size is LESS than in the paper posted in this thread (Kirch et al) which was featured on 60 minutes about the placebo effect. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6597641/

Re: Tips for the depressed

#169
post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> As s as formerly depressed person I can attest that this is the only thing that worked. DO stuff. Even if you feel you can’t, even if it feels hopeless. Do it anyway. > Somehow through the act of forcing yourself you find you’re actually enjoying yourself, are making progress and feeling better. I tried this approach. The "you find you're actually enjoying yourself" part never came. It left me profoundly exhausted,…

Well if it's any help, here's my two cents: to rewire your gratification circuits you need a lot of time and effort to alter your brains to accept some new ideas or behaviors. Took me a long time to get used to going to gym. Now it's like second nature. I know if you are really depressed it might be impossible to do it and other means, eg psychologist and medication, might be more helpful. But the rewiring of your br…

In the abstract, it's entirely plausible to me that I somehow need to work to "rewire my gratification circuits". However, nothing has demonstrated even a hint of actually doing that. I've tried multiple approaches to talk therapy, medication, diet/exercise, and self-directed behavioral activation (aka "do stuff"). None of them have noticeably helped; a few have backfired badly.

> I think positive action and experiences are definitely key-part in overriding the negative thinking patterns. Things such as social connections, the feeling of belonging to a group and physical exercise.

Here's the thing: I'm not sure I've genuinely had a positive experience in a long time (maybe decades). I'm not sure I've ever experienced "the feeling of belonging to a group" in an emotional sense. I routinely do things and have interactions that I can intellectually analyze as having been positive accomplishments, but for me there's a disconnect such that this simply fails to add up to a positive experience. As far as I can tell, most approaches to therapy don't even acknowledge this as a possibility, let alone have a method to address it. Those that do acknowledge it tend to have a questionable-to-nonexistent body of scientific evidence and are often phrased with a weird mythical/quasi-religious/metaphorical quality such that I'm often confused as to what advocates or practitioners are even trying to say once they move on from discussion of symptoms.

Re: Tips for the depressed

#170

Do not use the snooze function. First, once you're out of bed at an appropriate time, you want to stay out of bed. Second, the minimum interval of sleep you need to actually rest is 15 minutes. Snooze alarms, even on mobile devices, are currently 9 minutes. Third, tangentially related, do not use an obnoxious-sounding alarm, because you will make a negative association with your necessary tool. Use pleasant or inspir…

For me, even not depressed, "[d]o not use the snooze function" means "turn the alarm off and sleep in another three hours."

Obviously if it works for you it works for you, but if you don't have the willpower to stay out of bed, as I generally don't, at least the snooze button gives you another chance to wake up at a reasonable time, which puts the day on the right track.

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