Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
nytimes.com
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
1–10 of 17 posts
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#2Get out of the suburbs. They were built for automobiles, not people. It's no accident that neighborhoods built for isolation result in alienation.
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#3Get out of the suburbs. They were built for automobiles, not people. It's no accident that neighborhoods built for isolation result in alienation.
I lived in a building smack in the middle of San Francisco and didn't know my neighbors either. The only real difference in a city is that your neighbors are 10 feet instead of 100 feet from you.
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#4Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them.
I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those routines.
It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when is the last time you struck up a conversation with a random stranger. I highly recommend trying it sometime, as it tends to be enlightening.
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#5Get out of the suburbs. They were built for automobiles, not people. It's no accident that neighborhoods built for isolation result in alienation.
Seems to me people in smaller cities live differently. The size where you can't walk into the center without bumping into somebody you know.
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#6It's been more than a year since I helped an elderly neighbor put out his recycling. Not that he asked me, and Not that he didn't vigorously refuse any help. We ended up talking for 2 hours well after dark there in the street. I've always wanted to have a bachelor's dinner at my house where I invite all the neighbors over for some food and coffee and drinks.
this article has inspired me. I'll try it this weekend.
Wish me luck.
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#7Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them. I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those routines. It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when is the last time you st…
I agree, it is enlightening and very much a rewarding thing to do - striking up random conversations and generally being extroverted.
BUT: I feel also takes a considerable toll on those with more introverted worldviews.
Now adays I'm a misanthrope - also I'm a social scientist: I see new people as almost a 'chore.' Getting them caught up with your groups lingo/stories/norms is akin to teaching a kid. Exerting that much effort into a 'new friend' is difficult for me to justify - especially when the only thing tying you to the new person is a whim or chance encounter. Making friends is great, it works well with all aspects of social life and breaks routines, but there's definitely real reasons why it isn't done at the same pace as one sees in college.
When a typical jane doe moves into anomie (IE right after highschool, moving to a new place, new job) they're left to redefine themselves through the people they interact with. It's human nature to go seek new people and make new friends. In contrast - if one is rooted and knows what they like/who their friends are/the basic character makeup that they are attracted too, one has much less "drive" for us to get out and converse with new people. It's definitely a trend berthed from our culture. Japan demonstrates a different culture without this specific issue. China does too.
Anyway!
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#8Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them. I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those routines. It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when is the last time you st…
The subway in New York is particularly inviting. For a while lots of trains had the following sign:
"STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?"
From Whitman, I think.
[Plus, I find it easy to start a conversation in NY subway, for some reason still beyond my understanding.]
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#9Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them. I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those routines. It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when is the last time you st…
The subway in New York is particularly inviting. For a while lots of trains had the following sign: "STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" From Whitman, I think. [Plus, I find it easy to start a conversation in NY subway, for some reason still beyond my understanding.]
[deleted]
Re: Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
#10Get out of the suburbs. They were built for automobiles, not people. It's no accident that neighborhoods built for isolation result in alienation.
I lived in a building smack in the middle of San Francisco and didn't know my neighbors either. The only real difference in a city is that your neighbors are 10 feet instead of 100 feet from you.
Maybe it is the neighborhood you were in, or that you don't make an effort to aproach people?
I live in San Francisco, and I know at least two of my neighbors. We are not friends or anything, but a hi and a small talk once and a while doesn't hurt. Unfortunately, i live in a building where people stay for few years, and move somewhere else, so I guess that doesn't help.
I also sub-leased an apt. in North Beach, for my visiting parents. The girl I subleased from, had lived in that apt. for about 10 years, and she knew most of her neighbors. She gave me three numbers, of neighbors that could help me, if something happened, and my parents were talking to her downstairs neighbors everyday. Very nice people. I also picked the key from one of her neighbors, so she trusted them.
Living in a place where people are less transient helps a lot. From now and on, I am going to try to be more friendly to people I don't know. I have seen the opposite, where people are unfriendly, and I don't like it.