Not being an asshole will make you more money • Hacker News Board

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#21

Post by Ididntdothis » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:32 PM UTC

papito wrote: post #19

The most common difference between us peasants and the people of means is that those other people ASK more often. Ask for more money, ask for a bonus, ask for lower rent. And then it adds up. The one thing that holds most of us back is shame. But shame is a good thing in general. It's the glue that keeps societies together, preventing them from spiraling down to the lowest common denominator. Questionable if this sti…

I often ask people who are complaining about their salary whether have asked for a raise. Most of the time the answer is “no” followed by reasons like “I am afraid to get fired” or “they will make my life miserable” or “they should just do the right thing”.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#22

Post by minikites » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:33 PM UTC

BigBubbleButt wrote: post #18

fenwick67 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 out of the top 15 American billionaires inherited their wealth, that is the secret to wealth, have rich parents.

And 9 out of the top 10 American billionaires are self-made. It's amazing how you can use the same data to argue the opposite point, just on how you frame it.

Define "self-made", that's the real difference of opinion. How many first generation immigrants from truly impoverished nations become billionaires?

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#23

Post by projektfu » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:33 PM UTC

Some examples of the term sheets would have been nice. But it's so true that people are often wasting your time trying to secure a win for themselves only. It makes me think about good recruiters and bad recruiters. The good ones want to find a great fit for the position and have a reputation for getting good salaries for the people they place. The bad ones want to undercut the other recruiters and try to convince the candidate to accept a lousy offer. I'm sure the candidates are perfectly able to do that themselves.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#24

Post by metalliqaz » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:33 PM UTC

papito wrote: post #19

The most common difference between us peasants and the people of means is that those other people ASK more often. Ask for more money, ask for a bonus, ask for lower rent. And then it adds up. The one thing that holds most of us back is shame. But shame is a good thing in general. It's the glue that keeps societies together, preventing them from spiraling down to the lowest common denominator. Questionable if this sti…

I've seen pride and greed without a trace of shame. Its ugly, dangerous, and orange.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#25

Post by mdszy » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:34 PM UTC

BigBubbleButt wrote: post #18

fenwick67 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 out of the top 15 American billionaires inherited their wealth, that is the secret to wealth, have rich parents.

And 9 out of the top 10 American billionaires are self-made. It's amazing how you can use the same data to argue the opposite point, just on how you frame it.

A group doesn't have to be the majority to be significant.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#26

Post by Ididntdothis » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:35 PM UTC

seanhunter wrote: post #5

I have an example. In a previous role was in a position where we were negotiating a large-ish (>1M USD) multi-year contract when our client asked us to also do a proof of concept about some topic. It was just 1 week or 2 weeks so I said it would be free but because of various regulatory stuff we needed a contract in place. I was dealing with the same purchasing lawyer on both contracts. The process was super-standard…

It’s a common negotiation strategy to be a complete ass and wearing people down. A lot of people will give in just to keep the peace. It also works to ask for more concessions right before closing the deal. You just have to be shameless. I think that’s why sociopaths tend to do well in business.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#27

Post by minikites » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:36 PM UTC

Becoming a billionaire requires you to be an asshole by definition because the only way to accumulate and retain that (frankly incomprehensible) amount of money is through the exploitation of your employees and the surplus value of their labor at a tremendous scale.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#28

Post by papito » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:42 PM UTC

Ididntdothis wrote: post #21

papito wrote: post #19

The most common difference between us peasants and the people of means is that those other people ASK more often. Ask for more money, ask for a bonus, ask for lower rent. And then it adds up. The one thing that holds most of us back is shame. But shame is a good thing in general. It's the glue that keeps societies together, preventing them from spiraling down to the lowest common denominator. Questionable if this sti…

I often ask people who are complaining about their salary whether have asked for a raise. Most of the time the answer is “no” followed by reasons like “I am afraid to get fired” or “they will make my life miserable” or “they should just do the right thing”.

Exactly. 9 out of 10 managers will give you more money. They are not going to offer it to you, normally, because they are not a charity. They want to give you the least amount of money that you will except.

Secondly, who ever gets fired for asking for a raise? I mean, that is not normal. And if that does happen to you, it's most likely of some other underlying factors, where asking for a raise is just the last drop.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#29

Post by jschwartzi » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:42 PM UTC

miguelmota wrote: post #17

The term asshole is very subjective; some people will perceive being candid and telling it how it is as being mean while others love the straightforwardness. Bosses have to put emotions aside to think more logically and that comes off as unsympathetic when talking to employees or partners. Steve Jobs was known to not have been the nicest guy yet he’s praised all the time.

You're talking about being nice, not being an asshole. Assholes are people who come in and shit all over everything instead of trying to play fair. People who are not nice can be fair. Take as an analogy the difference between social class and economic class, and how people can have a social class that's different from their economic class.

Re: Not being an asshole will make you more money

#30

Post by zeusk » Fri, Mar 06, 2020, 5:42 PM UTC

BigBubbleButt wrote: post #18

fenwick67 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 out of the top 15 American billionaires inherited their wealth, that is the secret to wealth, have rich parents.

And 9 out of the top 10 American billionaires are self-made. It's amazing how you can use the same data to argue the opposite point, just on how you frame it.

I wouldn't count Bill Gates entirely self made and so would himself. His parents, his colleagues, and every one around him played a major role in success. If anything, I'd say luck and timing are more important than being nice.