"a 25 hour day",
I sometimes live a 36+ hour day: (10 + x) hours of sleep + (12 + 4 + y) hours of waking.
Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
21–30 of 34 posts
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#22Missing: don't waste your time reading stupid-self help lists. Go build something, real or virtual.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#23Earlier quoted context omitted.
much better to just punch someone in the face in real life. you get the stress relief benefits, especially if you win. and if you lose, the endogenous opioids should kick in and have you feeling reaaaal nice.
In high school my best friend and I decided to have a fight just because we had never been in one (there was alcohol involved). He hit me, I hit him, he fell down. We went back to drinking.
A coworker of mine was a submariner during the Vietnam war. (Old diesel electric re-purposed as a hydrophone platform.) He knew a fellow sailor who liked to get drunk, start giggling like he was a silly schoolkid, look for the toughest guy in the bar, go up to him and slug him. This wasn't just an occasional thing, it was every shore leave. He always got the crap beat out of him, and he was always giggling about it. Maybe it was those endogenous opioids?
It got so his fellow sailors would know it would happen, so two guys always went with him to drag him out of the place when it started. (They had to wait until he already fixated on that other guy, so they wouldn't be his target, which would possibly involve awkward involvement with the military discipline system.)
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#24I'm pretty sure this is bad advice. I say this as someone who has irresistible urges to "shake things up" when I'm going through rough patches. In fact, I think that desire is really common. I bet that's why this guy did all that stuff; he had the urge to do crazy things. But just because it's typical to have the urge to do crazy things when you're in a rough spot doesn't mean that you should do them, or that it will…
I'm pretty sure the therapist's advice was bad, too. First, it labels the recipient as a psycho unfit for a normal life (like having a relationship). Second, nobody is ever ready for a relationship. I mean it would be stupid to wait until you have become that perfect saint who is fit for a relationship. I presume this includes internalizing Erich Fromm's "Art of Loving" and shedding all earthly and selfish desires. F…
I'm pretty sure the therapist's advice was bad, too. First, it labels the recipient as a psycho unfit for a normal life (like having a relationship).
I've had many friends who were psychos unfit for normal life right after they'd had a particularly bad break up. Example: One friend who, shortly after a serious break-up, did lots of LSD, then went out late at night in the dead of winter and ground his front teeth on the iced-over asphalt in the middle of the street and required two burly friends to drag him back inside. (After the fact, he said something about knowing, "It would feel so neat!") Some years after, he's in a great relationship with a great woman, happy, and getting good grades.
It would not have been a good idea for him to go out with someone right then!
That advice is good for the therapist, as it actually says "you should be dependent on me indefinitely".
Therapists do tend towards that, despite what they say. A year is a bit excessive for many. I've heard 6 months. I think 3 to 6 months is a good idea for some people. A lot of guys I've known say they feel like there's a "Loser" sign on their foreheads for that interval of time after they break up, anyhow. They can't date someone for about that long anyways, until they get their confidence back.
Someone who's a serial relationship love junkie? Maybe a year's a good idea.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#25I'm pretty sure this is bad advice. I say this as someone who has irresistible urges to "shake things up" when I'm going through rough patches. In fact, I think that desire is really common. I bet that's why this guy did all that stuff; he had the urge to do crazy things. But just because it's typical to have the urge to do crazy things when you're in a rough spot doesn't mean that you should do them, or that it will…
I'm pretty sure the therapist's advice was bad, too. First, it labels the recipient as a psycho unfit for a normal life (like having a relationship). Second, nobody is ever ready for a relationship. I mean it would be stupid to wait until you have become that perfect saint who is fit for a relationship. I presume this includes internalizing Erich Fromm's "Art of Loving" and shedding all earthly and selfish desires. F…
I think we're being way too harsh on the therapist. For one thing, we don't even know anything about what this woman was going through - there are a a lot of circumstances I can think of where that sort of advice is sound.
Maybe she's grieving or needs to come to terms with some loss, but instead of doing so she keeps burying herself with busywork - new job, new relationship, new house...
Or maybe she came out of a terrible relationship recently and just needs some single-time. God knows I've been there - you're hurtin' and you feel like jumping on board the next boat that sails by, but it's better if you didn't.
The list can go on. Either way, she could've been blowing him off, or she could've been honest. We'll never know and this is all idle speculation; it's even more pointless to speculate as to what the therapist was doing without more information.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#26> Return some emails from 2005
My favorite.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#27Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm pretty sure the therapist's advice was bad, too. First, it labels the recipient as a psycho unfit for a normal life (like having a relationship). Second, nobody is ever ready for a relationship. I mean it would be stupid to wait until you have become that perfect saint who is fit for a relationship. I presume this includes internalizing Erich Fromm's "Art of Loving" and shedding all earthly and selfish desires. F…
I think we're being way too harsh on the therapist. For one thing, we don't even know anything about what this woman was going through - there are a a lot of circumstances I can think of where that sort of advice is sound. Maybe she's grieving or needs to come to terms with some loss, but instead of doing so she keeps burying herself with busywork - new job, new relationship, new house... Or maybe she came out of a t…
Granted, it might be a good idea for some people, especially if serial relationships are their way of distracting themselves from their real problems. I guess I have just heard that advice being handed out too often and too lightheartedly.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#28I'm pretty sure this is bad advice. I say this as someone who has irresistible urges to "shake things up" when I'm going through rough patches. In fact, I think that desire is really common. I bet that's why this guy did all that stuff; he had the urge to do crazy things. But just because it's typical to have the urge to do crazy things when you're in a rough spot doesn't mean that you should do them, or that it will…
It depends on the rough patch. I've had great success with shaking things up when my rough patch was directly due to stagnation.
Of course, I'm not talking about going CRAZY and committing a few felonies or anything. Just things like moving, selling my motorcycle and buying a different one, even simply culling my wardrobe or collection of miscellaneous stuff. It all helps get you out of a rut & start moving forward again.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#29Earlier quoted context omitted.
much better to just punch someone in the face in real life. you get the stress relief benefits, especially if you win. and if you lose, the endogenous opioids should kick in and have you feeling reaaaal nice.
In high school my best friend and I decided to have a fight just because we had never been in one (there was alcohol involved). He hit me, I hit him, he fell down. We went back to drinking.
Sounds like Fight Club.
Re: Wherein my Kiss was Rejected
#30I liked a lot of these, but I am really uncomfortable with the idea of begging when you don't need to. You're lying to the people who donate to you and you could be depriving those who really needed that money. It would be better if you donated the proceeds to someone who really needs them.
OH MY GOD THIS KIND OF MICRO LEVEL DECEPTION PALES IN COMPARISON TO THE EGREGIOUS MONSTROSITIES TO WHICH YOU CONTRIBUTE DAY AFTER DAY
Steal a penny, you're a thief. Steal a nation, you're its chief.