Barclays scraps 'Big Brother' staff tracking system within one week

Barclays scraps 'Big Brother' staff tracking system within one week
bbc.co.uk

I think where they can go a step further here is to install Spy cams in all of the bathroom toilets so we know how much bathroom time is actually spent going to the bathroom, and how much is spent on cell phones. It may sound invasive but I'll bet the efficiency will go up and that's all that matters at the end of the day, right?

Since efficiency can be broken down into money earned/lost, this should probably start up the top-most level (CEO) since the highest paid positions would yield the most gain/loss depending on efficiency changes. So once the CEOs have spy cams installed in all of their toilets, we can really measure how well efficiency improves!

EDIT:

I'm coming back to this because I don't think this is quite efficient enough. We should have a team of resident defecation experts who can detect exactly when the CEO should start the wiping processes, and gradually phase them out with AI that learns different pooping patterns. It can also give recommendations to the employee in terms of eating more fiber to speed up the defecating process and result in more solid stools, thus optimizing all bathroom time and shortening the amount of wipes required to as little as possible, again, to save more time and thus, money.

Not only that, but eating more fiber can prevent troubles like constipation as well as other health issues, saving even more money for the company when it comes to healthcare.

These are just a few more ideas, but I have plenty more.

EDIT #2:

I feel stupid for not thinking of this earlier, but another good strategy to prevent time away from the desk would be to simply remove all water and refrigerators from the building, and naturally all bathrooms would follow suit. The bathrooms would be replaced with closets filled with amphetamines, which are huge efficiency boosters, and bananas, so the employees don't die of hunger. The amphetamines will keep the heart rate so fast the bananas will be burned off like fuel.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "but what about the pumping rooms for breastfeeding moms? What happens to those?" It's a great question, with a simple solution - Barclays doesn't hire parents anymore. This is about efficiency, remember? Barclays will henceforth only hire asexual and sterile men and women to nullify any risk of pregnancy.

However, for those parents who need to keep their job, Barclays will also offer a free service called "reverse adoption" where you bring in your kids and the company gives them away. This can save dozens of dollars per day from employees getting distracted by things like "family" and "not working."

Between this, the spy cams in CEO toilets, the defecation expert AI, and removing the bathrooms, there will be tons of money saved, a portion of which will go towards financing the amphetamines and bananas. It'll be expensive for all the drugs but the efficiency will be so high it'll be a drop in the bucket!

Riiiight.

It is almost like Outer Worlds is not a parody, but an instruction manual.